New Year Party!
Well i organised a new year party for my mum as she has been through so much the last year (dec 05 to dec 06). It was good to see everyone having fun! To stand back and see mum laughing with her mate steph (something id never thought id see again) ad to see my mate john hibbard dancing (which i thought id never see) was fantastic. Although shane avoided me like the plauge and refused to have a decent piccy with me or even dance with me, it was a good night. I got a headache abut 12:30am which killed and i couldnt take any pills as i had been drinking! My mate sam come it was so good to see her she was involved in a hit and run accident in august and i thought she ewas going to die but thank god she survived and was at the party! It really makes you open your eyes and take a good long hard look at your life. I mean it could happen to me you or anyone just be thankfull it wasnt although i wish it didnt happen to sam either!
Me and shane are still on the rocks! We have drifted so far apart we have nothing in comon we dont even have a laugh together anymore. He always picks at me with reguards to the house or me or cj anything really. He dont like to do stuff we used to do he is far more interested in football, his car, wrestling or just going out for the sake of getting away from me! I am seriously wondering why im here anymore.
I know i am not perfect noone is but ffs i am trying. I mean i dyed my hair he hasnt even noticed!(and its red!!) I dressed up for new year i get called a teenage wannabe, not oh babe you look nice! I know i may seem selfish but is wanting the person who you fell for at 15 and spent 7 years of your life with to love you really too much to as for. He says he does but his heart just isnt in "us" anymore! I know i fucked up in the first year but i dont have to pay for it for the last 6 years! or the rest of my life for that matter!
I have changed a lot but everyone likes to throw "shit" at me about anything. They laugh at my dreams (no matter how sad they seem to you), they always find a way to piss on my fireworks no matter what it is i am trying to achive! He makes me feel usless and un wanted he makes me feel basically shit! I look in the mirror and hate what i see i just wanna smash the mirror so i dont have to look in it anymore. Everyone else is more important than me nowadays! I dot come first anymore i come last. bottom of the barrell...
anyways ive had enough of talking about this now im feeling low!
Me and shane are still on the rocks! We have drifted so far apart we have nothing in comon we dont even have a laugh together anymore. He always picks at me with reguards to the house or me or cj anything really. He dont like to do stuff we used to do he is far more interested in football, his car, wrestling or just going out for the sake of getting away from me! I am seriously wondering why im here anymore.
I know i am not perfect noone is but ffs i am trying. I mean i dyed my hair he hasnt even noticed!(and its red!!) I dressed up for new year i get called a teenage wannabe, not oh babe you look nice! I know i may seem selfish but is wanting the person who you fell for at 15 and spent 7 years of your life with to love you really too much to as for. He says he does but his heart just isnt in "us" anymore! I know i fucked up in the first year but i dont have to pay for it for the last 6 years! or the rest of my life for that matter!
I have changed a lot but everyone likes to throw "shit" at me about anything. They laugh at my dreams (no matter how sad they seem to you), they always find a way to piss on my fireworks no matter what it is i am trying to achive! He makes me feel usless and un wanted he makes me feel basically shit! I look in the mirror and hate what i see i just wanna smash the mirror so i dont have to look in it anymore. Everyone else is more important than me nowadays! I dot come first anymore i come last. bottom of the barrell...
anyways ive had enough of talking about this now im feeling low!