"Can the boy tell time?" "Oh my Lord no."
Eli: Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.
[Pagoda stabs Royal]
Royal: That's the last time you put a knife in me! Y'hear me?
Royal: I'm very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman.
Chas: Can we read it?
Richie: No.
Chas: Can you paraphrase it for us?
Richie: I don't think so.
Chas: Is it dark?
Richie: Of course it's dark. It's a suicide note.
Medical Student: Can the boy tell time?
Raleigh: Oh, my Lord, no!
Raleigh: Dudley has a rare disease combining symptoms of amnesia, dyslexia and color blindness, with an acute sense of hearing. My research...
Dudley Heinsbergen: [from two rooms away] I'm not color blind, am I?
Raleigh: I'm afraid you are.
Royal: I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.
Henry Sherman: I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.
Royal: Well, I really appreciate that.
Tennis Announcer 1: That's 72 unforced errors for Richie Tenebaum. He's playing the worst tennis of his life. What's he feeling right now?
Tennis Announcer 2: I don't know, Jim. There's obviously something wrong with him. He's taken off his shoes and one of his socks and... actually, I think he's crying.
Royal: We could shimmy up that gutter, jump over that window ledge, and then pry open that ventilator shaft.
Pagoda: There he is.
Royal: Richie! Richie! Where's he going? Richie!
[Kuzco and Pacha are tied to a tree branch floating in a river]
Pacha: Uh oh.
Kuzco: Don't tell me: We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: Yep.
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likely.
Kuzco: Bring it on.
Kuzco: No touchy.
Pacha: Where did you come from, little guy?
Kuzco: No... touchy.
Pacha: Aah. Demon llama.
Kuzco: Demon llama? Where?
[Turns around and sees Misty, a real llama]
Kuzco: Aaah.
Misty: Maaah.
[After falling into the alligator pit]
Yzma: Why do we even HAVE that lever?
...
[After falling into the SAME alligator pit]
Kuzco: Okay... why does she even HAVE that lever?
Yzma: Are you talking to that squirrel?
Kronk: I was a junior chipmunk. We had to be versed in all the woodland creatures.
[To squirrel]
Kronk: Please, continue.
[Squirrel talks to Kronk]
Yzma: [walking away] Why me? Why me? Why me? Why, why?
Kronk: It doesn't have to be all about you. This poor little guy's had it rough. Seems a talking llama gave him a hard time the other day
[Yzma rushes over to them]
Yzma: Oh, uh, a talking llama? Do tell.
[Squirrel whispers to Kronk]
Kronk: Uh, he doesn't really want to talk to you...
Yzma: Then YOU ask him.
Kronk: [Sigh] Hate being in the middle.
[Speaking squirrel]
Kronk: Squeaky squeak sqeaker squeaken...
[Plotting ways to kill Kuzco]
Yzma: Aaah... How shall I do it? Oh, I know... I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless, little flea. And then, I'll put that flea in a box. And then I'll put that box inside of another box. And then I'll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives, (laughs) I'll smash it with a hammer. It's brilliant, brilliant. Brilliant, I tell you. Genius, I say.
Yzma: Take him out of town and finish the job now.
Kronk: What about dinner?
Yzma: Kronk, this is kind of important.
Kronk: How about dessert?
Yzma: Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.
Kronk: And coffee?
Yzma: All right, a quick cup of coffee. Then take him out of town and finish the job.
Kronk's shoulder angle and devil debate saving Kuzco]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Listen up, big guy; I've got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one: look at that guy. He's got that sissy, stringy music thing.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: We've been through this. It's a harp... and you know it.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Yeah, right, that's a harp... and that's a dress.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Robe.
Yzma: Kronk. Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Whoa, now.
Yzma: A really big, stupid monkey named KRONK.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Ouch.
Yzma: And you want to know something else? I've never liked your spinach puffs.
[Kronk, his shoulder angel, and his shoulder devil all simultaneously gasp]
Yzma: Never.
[Kronk begins to cry]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: That's it.
[cocks pitchfork like a gun]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: She's goin' down.
Old Man: Why, I threw off the Emperor's groove.
Pacha: What?
Old Man: His groove. The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior. I threw it off. And the Emperor had me thrown out the window.
Pacha: Oh, I'm supposed to see him, so...
Old Man: DON'T THROW OFF HIS GROOVE.
Pacha: Okay.
Old Man: Bewaaaaaaaare, the grooooooooove.
Pacha: Say, are you gonna be all right?
Old Man: Groooooooooooove.
[Pagoda stabs Royal]
Royal: That's the last time you put a knife in me! Y'hear me?
Royal: I'm very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman.
Chas: Can we read it?
Richie: No.
Chas: Can you paraphrase it for us?
Richie: I don't think so.
Chas: Is it dark?
Richie: Of course it's dark. It's a suicide note.
Medical Student: Can the boy tell time?
Raleigh: Oh, my Lord, no!
Raleigh: Dudley has a rare disease combining symptoms of amnesia, dyslexia and color blindness, with an acute sense of hearing. My research...
Dudley Heinsbergen: [from two rooms away] I'm not color blind, am I?
Raleigh: I'm afraid you are.
Royal: I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.
Henry Sherman: I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.
Royal: Well, I really appreciate that.
Tennis Announcer 1: That's 72 unforced errors for Richie Tenebaum. He's playing the worst tennis of his life. What's he feeling right now?
Tennis Announcer 2: I don't know, Jim. There's obviously something wrong with him. He's taken off his shoes and one of his socks and... actually, I think he's crying.
Royal: We could shimmy up that gutter, jump over that window ledge, and then pry open that ventilator shaft.
Pagoda: There he is.
Royal: Richie! Richie! Where's he going? Richie!
[Kuzco and Pacha are tied to a tree branch floating in a river]
Pacha: Uh oh.
Kuzco: Don't tell me: We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: Yep.
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likely.
Kuzco: Bring it on.
Kuzco: No touchy.
Pacha: Where did you come from, little guy?
Kuzco: No... touchy.
Pacha: Aah. Demon llama.
Kuzco: Demon llama? Where?
[Turns around and sees Misty, a real llama]
Kuzco: Aaah.
Misty: Maaah.
[After falling into the alligator pit]
Yzma: Why do we even HAVE that lever?
...
[After falling into the SAME alligator pit]
Kuzco: Okay... why does she even HAVE that lever?
Yzma: Are you talking to that squirrel?
Kronk: I was a junior chipmunk. We had to be versed in all the woodland creatures.
[To squirrel]
Kronk: Please, continue.
[Squirrel talks to Kronk]
Yzma: [walking away] Why me? Why me? Why me? Why, why?
Kronk: It doesn't have to be all about you. This poor little guy's had it rough. Seems a talking llama gave him a hard time the other day
[Yzma rushes over to them]
Yzma: Oh, uh, a talking llama? Do tell.
[Squirrel whispers to Kronk]
Kronk: Uh, he doesn't really want to talk to you...
Yzma: Then YOU ask him.
Kronk: [Sigh] Hate being in the middle.
[Speaking squirrel]
Kronk: Squeaky squeak sqeaker squeaken...
[Plotting ways to kill Kuzco]
Yzma: Aaah... How shall I do it? Oh, I know... I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless, little flea. And then, I'll put that flea in a box. And then I'll put that box inside of another box. And then I'll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives, (laughs) I'll smash it with a hammer. It's brilliant, brilliant. Brilliant, I tell you. Genius, I say.
Yzma: Take him out of town and finish the job now.
Kronk: What about dinner?
Yzma: Kronk, this is kind of important.
Kronk: How about dessert?
Yzma: Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.
Kronk: And coffee?
Yzma: All right, a quick cup of coffee. Then take him out of town and finish the job.
Kronk's shoulder angle and devil debate saving Kuzco]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Listen up, big guy; I've got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one: look at that guy. He's got that sissy, stringy music thing.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: We've been through this. It's a harp... and you know it.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Yeah, right, that's a harp... and that's a dress.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Robe.
Yzma: Kronk. Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Whoa, now.
Yzma: A really big, stupid monkey named KRONK.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Ouch.
Yzma: And you want to know something else? I've never liked your spinach puffs.
[Kronk, his shoulder angel, and his shoulder devil all simultaneously gasp]
Yzma: Never.
[Kronk begins to cry]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: That's it.
[cocks pitchfork like a gun]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: She's goin' down.
Old Man: Why, I threw off the Emperor's groove.
Pacha: What?
Old Man: His groove. The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior. I threw it off. And the Emperor had me thrown out the window.
Pacha: Oh, I'm supposed to see him, so...
Old Man: DON'T THROW OFF HIS GROOVE.
Pacha: Okay.
Old Man: Bewaaaaaaaare, the grooooooooove.
Pacha: Say, are you gonna be all right?
Old Man: Groooooooooooove.