FIC- Fading Addiction Part Nineteen
Nearing the end of le ficcage now. Still a few parts to go though, so don’t worry! Once again thanks to you guys and Kyry. :-)
Fading Addiction Part Eighteen is here.
Fading Addiction Part Nineteen
Arriving in work the next day, I immediately made an appointment to see a nutritionist. In a way I was even more apprehensive about this because someone would be telling me what sort of foods I should be eating whereas in my session with Rachel, I just talked. Rachel didn’t tell me that I should do something differently; she listened. Ok so she didn’t encourage my avoidance of food, but she didn’t dictate, “You should be eating this, this and this” either. Deep down I knew that a nutritionist was exactly the sort of person to get me back on track physically speaking, but mentally it was going to be really tough.
We didn’t yet have another case after Hannah, and so once more I was at a loss regarding what to do. House was moaning about clinic duty as usual, and quite frankly, driving everyone insane.
“I just don’t see why I have to do twice as much as everyone else does!” He whined.
“It’s only for a month House, and you deserve it. Moaning about it isn’t going to change the fact that you have to do it,” Foreman responded as he walked into the room.
“It’s not fair though. Just because Cuddy’s funbags haven’t been seeing any action lately she takes it out on me!” House protested.
I couldn’t help but smirk at his words, no matter how much I wanted not to. However, I was curious as to what he’d done now to warrant extra clinic duty. “What did you do, House?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said stubbornly.
Foreman rolled his eyes. “He paid a patient five hundred dollars of Wilson’s money to take over his clinic duty,” he explained.
Grinning at the thought of this, I replied, “And Cuddy found out?”
“Only because that idiot didn’t notice some kid had meningitis. I mean everyone knows the symptoms for it these days but no, Mr Half-a-brain gave mommy some painkillers and told her to take her little boy home.”
Now appalled, I asked, “Is he going to be ok?”
House shrugged.
Foreman answered for him, “Ask him the same question when the kid isn’t on a life support machine.”
“House you really need to grow up and just do your clinic duty,” I chastised him, though inside I knew it would do no good.
“Since when did you start caring about whether I do clinic duty or not?” He shot back.
“I don’t!” I defended myself. “But it isn’t fair on Cuddy; she has enough to do without running around after you on a daily basis.”
He muttered, “Bla bla bla...”
“You’re acting like a child!” I exclaimed.
“And you’re acting like Cuddy’s biggest fan!” He all but yelled. Then, lowering his voice he added, “Why is that?”
I sighed, deliberately ignoring his question, not knowing how to answer.
He smirked at the silence. “Rather intriguing if you ask me. Something tells me that I need to do a little... investigating.”
Then a voice came from the door, “The only thing you need to do is get your ass down to the clinic before you’re doing double time there for two months instead of one.”
Cuddy.
Dramatically, House sighed. “Must you ruin my fun?”
“Yes.” Cuddy snapped, in the tone that let House know she wasn’t to be messed with.
“Fine!” He stood, slowly limping towards the door. Before he exited he turned to me, and said ominously, “I will find out Cameron, I always do.”
Once he’d left, Cuddy asked, “What is he talking about?”
“Basically I told him he should do his clinic duty to save you running around after him and he’s wondering why I’m your, and I quote, “biggest fan” all of a sudden.” I informed her.
“Oh!” Cuddy seemed taken aback for a moment, but then a smile appeared on her face and she said, “Right well, I need a word with you Dr. Cameron. Shall we go to my office?”
I returned the smile and nodded, saying goodbye to Foreman as I left the room. I followed Cuddy to her office slightly behind her, not quite able to keep up with her pace. I was feeling rather weak, mainly because I hadn’t felt able to face the trauma of trying to eat breakfast, and my stomach was cramping inside. Trying to ignore this as I entered Cuddy’s office, it helped take my mind off things when she hugged me the moment the door was closed. Allowing myself to relax into her arms, I buried my head into her neck, feeling warmth spread through my body.
“Thank you for defending me to House,” she whispered as she released me from the hug.
“It’s ok,” I told her, as I turned to make sure the blinds were closed. Seeing that they were I faced her once again, this time placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “Thanks for everything you’ve done for me.”
She frowned. “Such as?”
I shrugged. “Making me realise I have a problem. I’d still be in denial if it wasn’t for you.”
Cuddy smiled, though it was a rather sad one. “Remember, that’s the first step. Now it’s a case of getting you better.”
“Lisa, there’s always the chance that I won’t get better,” I said gently. “It’s all very well standing and talking but when it comes to actually eating, it’s like a block. You know, it took me an entire hour to eat the salad yesterday and like you said, that isn’t going to make me put on weight.”
“But you have to think positively,” she protested, in contrast to her opinion yesterday. Maybe she’d realised how much I needed her to believe in me. “You need to fight this, and I believe that you can beat it. You’re stronger than anorexia, I know you are.”
Though she sounded determined, I wasn’t so sure. My stomach was still hurting and I felt shaky. At this very moment in time, it seemed that the anorexia was stronger than ever. Trying to keep my voice level, I said, “Do you mind if I sit down a minute? I’m just feeling a little tired.”
“Of course,” Cuddy said, a concerned expression on her face. She led me over to the couch and sat me down. “Are you sure that’s it?”
Begrudgingly I admitted, “Well, I’ve got stomach cramps and I’m feeling shaky, but I’ll be fine.”
Cuddy took a deep breath. “You’re going to hate me for saying this, but maybe you shouldn’t be in work right now.”
My first reaction was to freak out and yell that I needed to work; it was the only thing keeping my mind occupied other than food. However, I quickly realised that it wasn’t the only thing I had to think about now that Cuddy was there, and maybe, just maybe, some time off wouldn’t be so bad. “Actually, I think you’re kind of right,” I agreed with her. “You’ve been right about a lot of things. You know, this morning I made an appointment to see a nutritionist. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to be eating and when... I need someone to help me.”
“I’m glad, really I am,” she smiled at me.
“Look, are you sure you’re ok about me taking some time off?” I asked worriedly, returning to what we’d previously been discussing.
She exclaimed, “Of course I am!”
“Good,” I said resolutely. “I’m not capable of doing my job properly like this.”
Cuddy stroked the side of my face. “You don’t have to take an endless amount of time off. Just a month for now, then if you’re stronger, or you need more time, at the end of the month we can review the situation.”
Knowing that a month was a realistic amount of time for progress, I accepted. “Ok,”
“I’ll fill out the paperwork, you just need to sign it,” She informed me. “I’ll record it as stress if you’d rather, so it’s just between us?”
Touched by the fact she would do this for me, I replied, “Thank you. But even if you have it recorded as that, I’d like to tell House and the team the truth, I owe it to them.”
“Are you sure? You know what House is like at keeping secrets,” she warned.
“He won’t spread this around. He’ll say something to Wilson but that’s it. Besides, you discussed me with him before, he’ll put two and two together and figure it out. He’s House, remember?” I reasoned.
“You have a point,” she conceded. “Are you going to tell them now or would you rather I did it for you?”
I sighed, “Thanks for the offer but I’d rather do it myself. I’m feeling a bit more with it so I’ll go now if that’s ok with you?”
“That’s fine. I’ll just sort out this paperwork for you to sign, so will you come back here before you leave?” she asked.
“Sure.” I smiled.
“One other thing,” She grabbed my arm as I got up to leave. “Will you come round to mind this evening? I’ll pick you up so you don’t have to drive.”
Heart racing, the smile on my face widened. “Sure. I’d ask if you wanted my address but you’ve been to mine before; albeit uninvited both times...”
She smiled apologetically. “Yeah, sorry about that. I had to get your address from your hospital file. It was either that or ask House, and that would have lead to awkward questions.”
“Which he’s now asking,” I groaned.
Cuddy laughed, “Don’t worry about House; I can handle him. If he says anything to you now just ignore him.”
“Will do,” I promised, hugging her then walking towards the door. “Back soon.”
Now for the task of telling everyone exactly why I was taking time off. Above all it was going to be humiliating for me, and never before had I hated anorexia quite as much as I did at that moment.