FIC- Lies for Love Part Twenty-Three
Title: Lies for love
Pairing: Thirteen/Cameron, Thirteen/Cuddy
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Pretty much zilch. This is set at the beginning of Season 5 when House has his new team but contains nothing about them specific to episodes.
Disclaimer: I own... nada.
Summary: Thirteen can't remain faithful and risks losing everything that matters to her.
( Part One.) ( Part Two) ( Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven) (Part Eight) (Part Nine) (Part Ten) (Part Eleven) (Part Twelve) (Part Thirteen) (Part Fourteen) (Part Fifteen) (Part Sixteen) (Part Seventeen) (Part Eighteen) (Part Nineteen) (Part Twenty) (Part Twenty-One) (Part Twenty-Two)
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23.
True to her word, Thirteen didn’t go to back to work the next day. She actually spent the next few days in an alcoholic and drug filled haze, barely knowing what her own name was, let alone the time. She hadn’t touched any kind of drug since she’d began her relationship with Cuddy, knowing that she definitely wouldn’t approve. Now that they were over for good there was no need for her to abstain any longer. She spent the nights partying hard and fucking around; the days sleeping it off. Pretty much living the average student’s life without the lectures and deadlines.
So that she wasn’t disturbed by anyone she didn’t want to be she unplugged the phone and answer phone, kept her cell phone switched off and made sure that she entered and left her apartment quickly so that she wasn’t seen. As far as she was aware no one came knocking on her door, but then she was usually so out of it that even if they had, she probably wouldn’t have realised. Mission Self-Destruct was well under way, and Thirteen had never felt so good. The drugs, a mixture of coke and pills depending upon what took her fancy, prevented her from feeling anything but pure elation, and she slept through most of the comedown.
Her resignation letter had been posted the morning after Cuddy had left, meaning it would definitely have arrived by now. The news of her departure would be common knowledge throughout the hospital. Thirteen wondered what House had told the rest of the team, because it sure as hell wouldn’t be the truth. No one cared enough about her to try and find out what the real reason was, and so whatever story House concocted would be believed by all. Cameron would know the real reason but she was the only person other than House, and Cuddy; Thirteen wasn’t even sure if Wilson knew about what had happened between House and Cuddy. She was sure he would find out eventually, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
The first time that she heard a knock on her door was whilst she was in the midst of fucking some random girl. With her raven hair and big blue eyes she reminded Thirteen of Cuddy, but her lips were too thin, her skin not quite as tanned. Thirteen didn’t know whether the resemblance was a good or bad thing, and even as the girl slid two fingers inside of her, she still hadn’t decided. The only option she had was to once again pull a Cuddy look-a-like and see how she felt then. Maybe she could spend the rest of her life doing that, and maybe it would be enough.
The knocking at her door continued. “You gonna get that?” The girl gasped from underneath her.
“Ignore it,” Thirteen instructed, reaching over to turn up the stereo.
**
Three pm.
Thirteen promptly turned over and vomited on the pillow next to her. Thank God Cuddy look-a-like had left hours ago. Groaning, she swayed back and forth as she tried to sit up. Obviously her late nights were catching up with her. She had never thrown up from her partying before, but her system was seemingly struggling to cope with the combination of alcohol and drugs, screaming out to her that it was time for a break. As much as Thirteen wanted to obey it, the moment she did the memories would come flooding back to her. She wasn’t ready to cope with them. Not yet.
Just like she wasn’t ready to cope with whoever was standing outside her front door, banging it incessantly. Figuring that if she yelled at whoever it was to go away they might listen, Thirteen decided that was her best bet. They woukd know she was in but if they’d been trying to get hold of her before now, such as the night before, they may take things one step further and report it to the police. That was the last thing she needed to deal with, and so ignoring the vomit soaked pillow, she wrapped a sheet around herself and shuffled out of her bedroom and towards the front door.
“Whoever it is, fuck off!” she yelled.
“It’s me!” Cameron shouted back.
“Just go,” Thirteen instructed, voice a few decibels lower. “Now isn’t a good time!”
“I don’t give a damn, now open this door!” Cameron started banging it once more.
Not able to stand the noise, Thirteen cursed under her breath and opened it. “What the hell do you want?”
“To talk,” Cameron shoved her way into the apartment, eyed the empty vodka bottles, the rolled up bank notes. “What the fuck, Remy?”
“Spare me the lecture,” Thirteen mumbled under her breath as she collapsed onto the couch. “You’re not even supposed to be here. Chase, remember?”
“What Chase doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Cameron replied smartly.
“Pretty sure that’s a bad choice of words considering what’s happened,” Thirteen observed, fiddling with a packet of Tylenol. She dry swallowed three of them, wishing the pain in her head would stop.
Cameron ignored her. “You really think this behaviour,” she disgustedly pointed to the cigarette stubs lying on the coffee table. “Is going to help you win back Cuddy?”
“Nothing to win, she’s not a prize. And she doesn’t want me anyway,” Thirteen informed Cameron.
“How do you know that?” Cameron demanded.
“She practically told me so on... Monday night? Or was it Tuesday? I don’t even know what the day is,” Thirteen laughed.
Cameron shook her head sadly. “She still loves you.”
“Umm... need I remind you of House?” Thirteen said sarcastically.
“She hasn’t been near him all week,” Cameron replied simply. “And it’s Friday by the way.”
“Friday? Cool? There’s supposed to be a gig on at Platinum Lounge tonight... wonder if it’ll be any good,” Thirteen pondered aloud.
“You don’t even know what day it is and you’re going out again!” Cameron yelled angrily. “Get a grip, Remy!”
“I do know what day it is. Friday,” Thirteen said facetiously.
Once again, Cameron took no notice of her. “Are you not even going to ask how I know Cuddy hasn’t been near House all week?”
“Does it matter?” Thirteen replied with a question of her own.
“If you still love Cuddy it does,” Cameron told her. “Which I know you do.”
“So what?” Thirteen said childishly.
“We had an argument,” Cameron revealed. “And by argument I mean huge fight in her office when pretty much everyone had gone home about midnight. I was surprised she didn’t punch me to be honest.”
“What did you fight about?” Thirteen asked, curiosity now piqued.
Cameron shook her head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sadly, she whispered, “You.”
**
The two women stared at each other, neither willing to be the one to look away. It was the first time since Cameron’s affair with Thirteen had been revealed to Cuddy that they’d been alone in the same room together, and the tension in the air could have easily been sliced open. Cuddy looked like she might jump across the table at any moment and throttle Cameron, whereas Cameron seemed to be leaning backwards towards the door, already regretting her decision to enter the office at this time of night, when there was no reason for her to be here.
“Get out,” Cuddy told her.
“But I...” Cameron started.
“Get out,” Cuddy repeated, louder this time.
“Cuddy, please...” Cameron tried to make the older woman listen to her.
“No. I am not interested,” Cuddy said firmly. She stood up from her desk, eyes still fixed on Cameron. “Get out.” She instructed for the third time.
“I just want to talk,” Cameron protested.
“Don’t care,” Cuddy cut Cameron off once again.
“It’s about Thirteen,” Cameron blurted out. There was no way she was going to give up so soon; now that she was here she may as well say exactly what she wanted to.
“What about her?” Cuddy asked icily, eyes still fixed on Cameron, though they gave away none of her thoughts.
“I’m worried about her,” Cameron continued, regardless of Cuddy’s tone of voice.
Cuddy paused, momentarily distracted by Cameron’s admission. “What... what do you mean?”
“I haven’t been able to get hold of her,” Cameron stated. “I just want to make sure that she’s alright. She was pretty upset because she thinks that you slept with House.”
Cuddy broke the gaze, looked down at the floor in an admission of guilt.
“Oh my God,” Cameron said, horrified. “You did sleep with him!”
“That is none of your business, Dr. Cameron,” Cuddy snapped, quickly composing herself. “Just as Thirteen is no longer my business.”
“So you’re just throwing away everything you had together?” Cameron asked incredulously.
“She threw it away!” Cuddy yelled, forcing Cameron to jump at the sudden raised voice. “She was the one who cheated on me with you, remember?”
“It was a mistake,” Cameron admitted shakily. “And I’m sorry for my part in it, I really am. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m worried about her.”
“She’s resigned,” Cuddy announced curtly.
Cameron sighed, and fluttered her eyes shut. “And... you’re ok with that?”
Cuddy shrugged nonchalantly.
“You know, if you’re not interested in her anymore and you want House then you should at least have the decency to tell her!” Cameron gave her opinion in an irritated manner, annoyed by Cuddy’s apparent indifference for her ex-girlfriend.
“Fuck you!” Cuddy spat. “You’re the entire reason this mess began, or have you forgotten that?”
Cameron at least had the decency to bow her head, though she gave no reply.
“There is nothing going on between House and I,” Cuddy informed her. She laughed wryly. “And there never will be. I am done with relationships like you wouldn’t believe.”
“I’m sorry,” Cameron said quietly, not knowing what else to say.
Cuddy looked sad. “I am never going to get over Remy,” she said softly, showing her true feelings through her expression for the first time since they’d begun their conversation. “You could have had anyone you wanted. Why did it have to be her?”
**
Thirteen gawped. “She said that?”
“Yeah. I was surprised she admitted it, especially considering it was me to whom she said it. I think she would have said even more, but then House came in. She told him to go away... and he did. I don’t know if he waited outside for a bit, but he wasn’t there when I left so I’m guessing not,” Cameron continued her story.
“What happened then?” Thirteen had given up all pretence of disinterest by this point.
“She looked upset and I felt bad... so I tried to hug her,” Cameron confessed miserably.
Thirteen couldn’t help but laugh at this. “I’m sorry... you did what? Are you insane?”
“I was trying to comfort her!” Cameron exclaimed.
“You’re the last person she’d want comfort from!” Thirteen replied incredulously. “You slept with her girlfriend... me.”
“Yeah well, I know that now,” Cameron said impatiently, evidently fed up of Thirteen’s teasing. “Anyway, I told her she was an idiot for letting you walk away and she didn’t say anything. So I left.”
“She didn’t say anything?” Thirteen looked hurt.
“If it makes you feel any better she looked unsure,” Cameron told her. She looked at her watch. “Fuck; I’m late. Chase and I took the afternoon off so we could spend some time together, I agreed to be at his ten minutes ago,” Cameron jumped up. “I just have one more thing to say. Go speak to Cuddy and don’t screw it up,” She ran to the front door. “Oh and have a shower before you do; you look terrible.”
“Thanks,” Thirteen called out as Cameron left, and stood to look into the mirror. Cameron was right; she did look awful.
Cameron’s tale had been enlightening to say the least. Thirteen wasn’t sure if she’d regret it, but she was going to take Cameron’s advice. Slowly rising to her feet, she set to work on cleaning the apartment. Once it was vomit/alcohol/drug free, she would shower and give talking to Cuddy one last go.
What did she have to lose?
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The Cuddy/Cameron scene was a last miunute change to this, so I hope it fitted in alright...
Pairing: Thirteen/Cameron, Thirteen/Cuddy
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Pretty much zilch. This is set at the beginning of Season 5 when House has his new team but contains nothing about them specific to episodes.
Disclaimer: I own... nada.
Summary: Thirteen can't remain faithful and risks losing everything that matters to her.
( Part One.) ( Part Two) ( Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven) (Part Eight) (Part Nine) (Part Ten) (Part Eleven) (Part Twelve) (Part Thirteen) (Part Fourteen) (Part Fifteen) (Part Sixteen) (Part Seventeen) (Part Eighteen) (Part Nineteen) (Part Twenty) (Part Twenty-One) (Part Twenty-Two)
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23.
True to her word, Thirteen didn’t go to back to work the next day. She actually spent the next few days in an alcoholic and drug filled haze, barely knowing what her own name was, let alone the time. She hadn’t touched any kind of drug since she’d began her relationship with Cuddy, knowing that she definitely wouldn’t approve. Now that they were over for good there was no need for her to abstain any longer. She spent the nights partying hard and fucking around; the days sleeping it off. Pretty much living the average student’s life without the lectures and deadlines.
So that she wasn’t disturbed by anyone she didn’t want to be she unplugged the phone and answer phone, kept her cell phone switched off and made sure that she entered and left her apartment quickly so that she wasn’t seen. As far as she was aware no one came knocking on her door, but then she was usually so out of it that even if they had, she probably wouldn’t have realised. Mission Self-Destruct was well under way, and Thirteen had never felt so good. The drugs, a mixture of coke and pills depending upon what took her fancy, prevented her from feeling anything but pure elation, and she slept through most of the comedown.
Her resignation letter had been posted the morning after Cuddy had left, meaning it would definitely have arrived by now. The news of her departure would be common knowledge throughout the hospital. Thirteen wondered what House had told the rest of the team, because it sure as hell wouldn’t be the truth. No one cared enough about her to try and find out what the real reason was, and so whatever story House concocted would be believed by all. Cameron would know the real reason but she was the only person other than House, and Cuddy; Thirteen wasn’t even sure if Wilson knew about what had happened between House and Cuddy. She was sure he would find out eventually, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
The first time that she heard a knock on her door was whilst she was in the midst of fucking some random girl. With her raven hair and big blue eyes she reminded Thirteen of Cuddy, but her lips were too thin, her skin not quite as tanned. Thirteen didn’t know whether the resemblance was a good or bad thing, and even as the girl slid two fingers inside of her, she still hadn’t decided. The only option she had was to once again pull a Cuddy look-a-like and see how she felt then. Maybe she could spend the rest of her life doing that, and maybe it would be enough.
The knocking at her door continued. “You gonna get that?” The girl gasped from underneath her.
“Ignore it,” Thirteen instructed, reaching over to turn up the stereo.
**
Three pm.
Thirteen promptly turned over and vomited on the pillow next to her. Thank God Cuddy look-a-like had left hours ago. Groaning, she swayed back and forth as she tried to sit up. Obviously her late nights were catching up with her. She had never thrown up from her partying before, but her system was seemingly struggling to cope with the combination of alcohol and drugs, screaming out to her that it was time for a break. As much as Thirteen wanted to obey it, the moment she did the memories would come flooding back to her. She wasn’t ready to cope with them. Not yet.
Just like she wasn’t ready to cope with whoever was standing outside her front door, banging it incessantly. Figuring that if she yelled at whoever it was to go away they might listen, Thirteen decided that was her best bet. They woukd know she was in but if they’d been trying to get hold of her before now, such as the night before, they may take things one step further and report it to the police. That was the last thing she needed to deal with, and so ignoring the vomit soaked pillow, she wrapped a sheet around herself and shuffled out of her bedroom and towards the front door.
“Whoever it is, fuck off!” she yelled.
“It’s me!” Cameron shouted back.
“Just go,” Thirteen instructed, voice a few decibels lower. “Now isn’t a good time!”
“I don’t give a damn, now open this door!” Cameron started banging it once more.
Not able to stand the noise, Thirteen cursed under her breath and opened it. “What the hell do you want?”
“To talk,” Cameron shoved her way into the apartment, eyed the empty vodka bottles, the rolled up bank notes. “What the fuck, Remy?”
“Spare me the lecture,” Thirteen mumbled under her breath as she collapsed onto the couch. “You’re not even supposed to be here. Chase, remember?”
“What Chase doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Cameron replied smartly.
“Pretty sure that’s a bad choice of words considering what’s happened,” Thirteen observed, fiddling with a packet of Tylenol. She dry swallowed three of them, wishing the pain in her head would stop.
Cameron ignored her. “You really think this behaviour,” she disgustedly pointed to the cigarette stubs lying on the coffee table. “Is going to help you win back Cuddy?”
“Nothing to win, she’s not a prize. And she doesn’t want me anyway,” Thirteen informed Cameron.
“How do you know that?” Cameron demanded.
“She practically told me so on... Monday night? Or was it Tuesday? I don’t even know what the day is,” Thirteen laughed.
Cameron shook her head sadly. “She still loves you.”
“Umm... need I remind you of House?” Thirteen said sarcastically.
“She hasn’t been near him all week,” Cameron replied simply. “And it’s Friday by the way.”
“Friday? Cool? There’s supposed to be a gig on at Platinum Lounge tonight... wonder if it’ll be any good,” Thirteen pondered aloud.
“You don’t even know what day it is and you’re going out again!” Cameron yelled angrily. “Get a grip, Remy!”
“I do know what day it is. Friday,” Thirteen said facetiously.
Once again, Cameron took no notice of her. “Are you not even going to ask how I know Cuddy hasn’t been near House all week?”
“Does it matter?” Thirteen replied with a question of her own.
“If you still love Cuddy it does,” Cameron told her. “Which I know you do.”
“So what?” Thirteen said childishly.
“We had an argument,” Cameron revealed. “And by argument I mean huge fight in her office when pretty much everyone had gone home about midnight. I was surprised she didn’t punch me to be honest.”
“What did you fight about?” Thirteen asked, curiosity now piqued.
Cameron shook her head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sadly, she whispered, “You.”
**
The two women stared at each other, neither willing to be the one to look away. It was the first time since Cameron’s affair with Thirteen had been revealed to Cuddy that they’d been alone in the same room together, and the tension in the air could have easily been sliced open. Cuddy looked like she might jump across the table at any moment and throttle Cameron, whereas Cameron seemed to be leaning backwards towards the door, already regretting her decision to enter the office at this time of night, when there was no reason for her to be here.
“Get out,” Cuddy told her.
“But I...” Cameron started.
“Get out,” Cuddy repeated, louder this time.
“Cuddy, please...” Cameron tried to make the older woman listen to her.
“No. I am not interested,” Cuddy said firmly. She stood up from her desk, eyes still fixed on Cameron. “Get out.” She instructed for the third time.
“I just want to talk,” Cameron protested.
“Don’t care,” Cuddy cut Cameron off once again.
“It’s about Thirteen,” Cameron blurted out. There was no way she was going to give up so soon; now that she was here she may as well say exactly what she wanted to.
“What about her?” Cuddy asked icily, eyes still fixed on Cameron, though they gave away none of her thoughts.
“I’m worried about her,” Cameron continued, regardless of Cuddy’s tone of voice.
Cuddy paused, momentarily distracted by Cameron’s admission. “What... what do you mean?”
“I haven’t been able to get hold of her,” Cameron stated. “I just want to make sure that she’s alright. She was pretty upset because she thinks that you slept with House.”
Cuddy broke the gaze, looked down at the floor in an admission of guilt.
“Oh my God,” Cameron said, horrified. “You did sleep with him!”
“That is none of your business, Dr. Cameron,” Cuddy snapped, quickly composing herself. “Just as Thirteen is no longer my business.”
“So you’re just throwing away everything you had together?” Cameron asked incredulously.
“She threw it away!” Cuddy yelled, forcing Cameron to jump at the sudden raised voice. “She was the one who cheated on me with you, remember?”
“It was a mistake,” Cameron admitted shakily. “And I’m sorry for my part in it, I really am. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m worried about her.”
“She’s resigned,” Cuddy announced curtly.
Cameron sighed, and fluttered her eyes shut. “And... you’re ok with that?”
Cuddy shrugged nonchalantly.
“You know, if you’re not interested in her anymore and you want House then you should at least have the decency to tell her!” Cameron gave her opinion in an irritated manner, annoyed by Cuddy’s apparent indifference for her ex-girlfriend.
“Fuck you!” Cuddy spat. “You’re the entire reason this mess began, or have you forgotten that?”
Cameron at least had the decency to bow her head, though she gave no reply.
“There is nothing going on between House and I,” Cuddy informed her. She laughed wryly. “And there never will be. I am done with relationships like you wouldn’t believe.”
“I’m sorry,” Cameron said quietly, not knowing what else to say.
Cuddy looked sad. “I am never going to get over Remy,” she said softly, showing her true feelings through her expression for the first time since they’d begun their conversation. “You could have had anyone you wanted. Why did it have to be her?”
**
Thirteen gawped. “She said that?”
“Yeah. I was surprised she admitted it, especially considering it was me to whom she said it. I think she would have said even more, but then House came in. She told him to go away... and he did. I don’t know if he waited outside for a bit, but he wasn’t there when I left so I’m guessing not,” Cameron continued her story.
“What happened then?” Thirteen had given up all pretence of disinterest by this point.
“She looked upset and I felt bad... so I tried to hug her,” Cameron confessed miserably.
Thirteen couldn’t help but laugh at this. “I’m sorry... you did what? Are you insane?”
“I was trying to comfort her!” Cameron exclaimed.
“You’re the last person she’d want comfort from!” Thirteen replied incredulously. “You slept with her girlfriend... me.”
“Yeah well, I know that now,” Cameron said impatiently, evidently fed up of Thirteen’s teasing. “Anyway, I told her she was an idiot for letting you walk away and she didn’t say anything. So I left.”
“She didn’t say anything?” Thirteen looked hurt.
“If it makes you feel any better she looked unsure,” Cameron told her. She looked at her watch. “Fuck; I’m late. Chase and I took the afternoon off so we could spend some time together, I agreed to be at his ten minutes ago,” Cameron jumped up. “I just have one more thing to say. Go speak to Cuddy and don’t screw it up,” She ran to the front door. “Oh and have a shower before you do; you look terrible.”
“Thanks,” Thirteen called out as Cameron left, and stood to look into the mirror. Cameron was right; she did look awful.
Cameron’s tale had been enlightening to say the least. Thirteen wasn’t sure if she’d regret it, but she was going to take Cameron’s advice. Slowly rising to her feet, she set to work on cleaning the apartment. Once it was vomit/alcohol/drug free, she would shower and give talking to Cuddy one last go.
What did she have to lose?
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The Cuddy/Cameron scene was a last miunute change to this, so I hope it fitted in alright...