FIC- Lies for Love Part Nine
Title: Lies for love
Pairing: Thirteen/Cameron, Thirteen/Cuddy
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Pretty much zilch. This is set at the beginning of Season 5 when House has his new team but contains nothing about them specific to episodes.
Disclaimer: I own... nada.
Summary: Thirteen can't remain faithful and risks losing everything that matters to her.
( Part One.) ( Part Two) ( Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven) (Part Eight)
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9.
Thirteen drove as quickly as she could, wanting to get away from the hospital before House had a chance to follow her. Thankfully she had the intelligence not to park directly outside Cuddy’s house, realising that if House drove past he would spot it immediately. Instead, she parked right at the end of the block and jogged straight to Cuddy’s house, not wishing to spend too much time outside. If House drove past on his motorbike; he would see her straight away. Thirteen decided if she did hear the sound of a motor she would duck behind a car until it had passed, but she made it to the front door without hearing any traffic at all, It was one of the perks of the quiet suburban-like road that Cuddy lived on.
Knocking frantically, Thirteen willed for Cuddy to open up, wanting to be inside and away from the possible appearance of House. Her car was outside; Thirteen had spotted it, and so she was definitely home. For a moment or two Thirteen considered the possibility that Cuddy wasn’t going to answer; that she was so annoyed about earlier she didn’t want to see her now. But as she heard the sound of feet padding towards the door to let her in, she realised that she was just being paranoid.
“Hey,” she said the moment that Cuddy opened the door. She was wearing a baggy grey jumper over a pair of pyjama bottoms, her hair falling around her face. “Um, can I come in?” Cuddy was stood in the way, not having moved to let her in.
Without a word, Cuddy moved back. She avoided eye contact with Thirteen, something that really worried her. Not sure if she was still letting the paranoia take hold, Thirteen didn’t say anything and merely shut the door behind her. Smiling in Cuddy’s direction despite the fact that the other woman wasn’t looking at her, she enveloped Cuddy into her arms, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. As Cuddy stiffened and pulled away she began to panic. Did she know?
“Um, are you ok?” She asked, dreading the answer. All thoughts of informing Cuddy that House suspected they were together went out the window the moment she saw the subdued expression on Cuddy’s face.
“Fine,” Cuddy said, her voice monotone.
“Right,” Thirteen said, not believing her but not knowing how to say that without it turning into an argument. Changing the subject, hoping that Cuddy was in a bad mood for some other reason, she asked, “Have you eaten?”
Cuddy shook her head before walking into the living room. Thirteen followed.
“Do you want to go out and get something to eat?” Thirteen deliberately brightened her voice, hoping it would perk Cuddy up.
No such luck apparently, as Cuddy shook her head again.
“Well, do you want me to cook dinner here?” Thirteen tried again.
This time Cuddy responded with a shrug of the shoulders. Deciding that the easiest thing to do would be to take that as a yes, Thirteen left the room and went into the kitchen.
She refused to think about the possibility that Cuddy knew about her affair with Cameron. After all; surely she would have confronted her? That was more Cuddy’s style. Maybe she was just tired and not up for talking much? Thirteen was probably just paranoid after the events of the last few days.
Not really knowing what Cuddy wanted to eat, Thirteen set about making a simple pasta dish. She focused on the ingredients, finding that if she did so it stopped her thinking about other things that were on her mind. However, in the whole time that she was cooking Cuddy stayed out of the kitchen, leaving Thirteen alone. This in itself was strange; Cuddy never allowed Thirteen to cook without interfering, and she usually ended up taking over and cooking herself. But this time? Nothing.
In what seemed like hours to Thirteen but in reality was probably no more than twenty minutes or so; she was done. She called for Cuddy to come into the kitchen, and though it took her a couple of minutes to appear; Thirteen was glad that she wasn’t being completely ignored. She chose to take this as a sign of encouragement that Cuddy hadn’t overheard her confrontation with Cameron earlier on. She smiled at the other woman, seeing no need to bring the subject up. For the moment at least.
“I didn’t know what you wanted so I just went with pasta,” Thirteen set the plate and cutlery down at the kitchen table, there being no need for them to use the formal dining room. They only ever did that when they were having a special night in together; and this wasn’t exactly an occasion which warranted that.
“Pasta’s fine,” Cuddy said quietly.
“Good,” Thirteen replied. She was glad that Cuddy had spoken but she didn’t like the fact that there was still no eye contact from her. Therefore, she continued to sit opposite Cuddy worried and enduring the awkward silence. She had really wanted to tell Cuddy about House’s discovery so that she wasn’t surprised when he confronted her about it tomorrow; but somehow she didn’t think that was the best thing to bring up right now considering Cuddy’s mood.
“How was your day?” Thirteen prompted.
“Fine,” Cuddy replied dully.
Not able to stop herself; Thirteen noted aloud, “You know that “fine” has been your answer to everything I’ve said so far.”
“Has it?” Cuddy replied dryly. “My apologies.” She picked at her food, playing with it rather than eating it.
Thirteen paused. It seemed she would have to bring up what happened today whether she wanted to or not. She didn’t think she could stand the tension any longer. “Are you being like this because of earlier when Cameron and I argued?”
Cuddy remained silent.
“It is; isn’t it?” Thirteen reached across the table to place her hand on Cuddy’s. The moment she made contact with Cuddy’s skin, the woman wrenched her hand away. “Lisa,” Thirteen tried again. “Please don’t be like this.”
“Like what?” Cuddy snapped, finally showing some emotion.
Thirteen sighed. “I’ve told you there’s nothing going on.”
Cuddy laughed. “If you say so.”
“Lisa!” Thirteen exclaimed. “For God’s sake; why are you being like this?”
Cuddy stood, indicating that the conversation was over. She ignored Thirteen’s question to her. “You know, I’m not so hungry anymore.” She picked up the plate and emptied the remaining food into the bin.
Thirteen watched; not knowing what to say, what to do. She had no appetite either, and so she put down her fork and stood up to walk over to Cuddy. Moving to hug her, Cuddy foresaw this coming and she ducked under Thirteen’s arm, leaving the kitchen. Sighing, Thirteen began clearing up and came to the decision that she would give Cuddy a few minutes to calm down before she approached her again. Maybe she should leave the subject of Cameron for now? Thirteen was sure that Cuddy only suspected; if she’d heard anything or had proof then she never would have allowed Thirteen into the house. That meant that if Thirteen kept denying that anything was going on, maybe Cuddy would eventually believe her.
Once she had finished tidying up the kitchen, Thirteen left to see where her girlfriend had disappeared. She discovered Cuddy sitting in the living room, her legs curled up in front of her and her arms around them, tucking herself into a ball. She was staring at the television news, though Thirteen doubted that she was actually watching it. Tentatively, Thirteen sat next to her, her eyes locked onto Cuddy. Against her better judgement she placed a hand on Cuddy’s shoulder, feeling her stiffen, but not pull away. “Babe?” She said softly.
“Can you shut up? I’m watching this,” Cuddy said, her voice back to its’ monotone state.
Knowing full well that Cuddy was lying but having no proof, Thirteen accepted her words. “Sorry,” she apologised, removing her hand and staying quiet.
A good ten to fifteen minutes passed before the silence was broken by something other than the television. The news had finished and it had moved onto the weather, though Thirteen was sure that Cuddy was completely unaware of this fact. She herself seemed to be paying more attention to the TV than Cuddy as she attempted to take her mind off everything that had happened. Surprisingly, it was Cuddy who spoke first; causing Thirteen to jump. She had expected to be the one who started the conversation herself, as it appeared Cuddy was intent on ignore her presence. It seemed she’d be proven wrong.
“So,” Cuddy asked casually, still facing forward. “How long have you been fucking Cameron?”
Thirteen was speechless. Just what exactly could she say to that? She opened her mouth to deny the allegation, but no words would come out.
“Actually; forget I said that,” Cuddy continued. “We’ve only been together for three months so it doesn’t say a lot for our relationship no matter how long. No, how many times have you fucked Cameron? Once? More than once?”
“I... Lisa I’ve told you...” Thirteen stammered.
“Yes I know what lies you’ve told me, now I want the truth,” Cuddy interrupted, almost impatiently.
“That is the truth,” Thirteen directly faced Cuddy, pleading for her to believe what she was saying. “I love you, Lisa.”
Cuddy finally turned to look into Thirteen’s eyes. “No you don’t. If you loved me then you wouldn’t do this to me. You wouldn’t screw someone else, you wouldn’t lie to me, you wouldn't do this.”
Thirteen reached out, grabbed Cuddy’s hand. She tried to pull away, but Thirteen held on tightly. “There’s only you,” she willed Cuddy to believe her. It didn’t matter what she said, she wouldn’t admit it. Eventually Cuddy would believe her.
She had to.
Cuddy stood, violently ripping her hand away from Thirteen. “I’m going to bed,” she announced, leaving the room. It was only nine o’clock but evidently she didn’t wish to spend another moment in the company of Thirteen.
Thirteen felt her heart thudding hard against her chest and she shut her eyes, trying to calm down. It was a total mess, and she didn’t see any way out of it. If she admitted she had cheated then she knew Cuddy would end their relationship. If she didn’t then she risked Cuddy ending it anyway, or continuing to behave like this. Neither option was appealing, but she couldn’t bring herself to decide what to do yet. If she went with the former choice there was no going back, and so she would keep her mouth shut.
For now.
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Pairing: Thirteen/Cameron, Thirteen/Cuddy
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Pretty much zilch. This is set at the beginning of Season 5 when House has his new team but contains nothing about them specific to episodes.
Disclaimer: I own... nada.
Summary: Thirteen can't remain faithful and risks losing everything that matters to her.
( Part One.) ( Part Two) ( Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven) (Part Eight)
*************************
9.
Thirteen drove as quickly as she could, wanting to get away from the hospital before House had a chance to follow her. Thankfully she had the intelligence not to park directly outside Cuddy’s house, realising that if House drove past he would spot it immediately. Instead, she parked right at the end of the block and jogged straight to Cuddy’s house, not wishing to spend too much time outside. If House drove past on his motorbike; he would see her straight away. Thirteen decided if she did hear the sound of a motor she would duck behind a car until it had passed, but she made it to the front door without hearing any traffic at all, It was one of the perks of the quiet suburban-like road that Cuddy lived on.
Knocking frantically, Thirteen willed for Cuddy to open up, wanting to be inside and away from the possible appearance of House. Her car was outside; Thirteen had spotted it, and so she was definitely home. For a moment or two Thirteen considered the possibility that Cuddy wasn’t going to answer; that she was so annoyed about earlier she didn’t want to see her now. But as she heard the sound of feet padding towards the door to let her in, she realised that she was just being paranoid.
“Hey,” she said the moment that Cuddy opened the door. She was wearing a baggy grey jumper over a pair of pyjama bottoms, her hair falling around her face. “Um, can I come in?” Cuddy was stood in the way, not having moved to let her in.
Without a word, Cuddy moved back. She avoided eye contact with Thirteen, something that really worried her. Not sure if she was still letting the paranoia take hold, Thirteen didn’t say anything and merely shut the door behind her. Smiling in Cuddy’s direction despite the fact that the other woman wasn’t looking at her, she enveloped Cuddy into her arms, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. As Cuddy stiffened and pulled away she began to panic. Did she know?
“Um, are you ok?” She asked, dreading the answer. All thoughts of informing Cuddy that House suspected they were together went out the window the moment she saw the subdued expression on Cuddy’s face.
“Fine,” Cuddy said, her voice monotone.
“Right,” Thirteen said, not believing her but not knowing how to say that without it turning into an argument. Changing the subject, hoping that Cuddy was in a bad mood for some other reason, she asked, “Have you eaten?”
Cuddy shook her head before walking into the living room. Thirteen followed.
“Do you want to go out and get something to eat?” Thirteen deliberately brightened her voice, hoping it would perk Cuddy up.
No such luck apparently, as Cuddy shook her head again.
“Well, do you want me to cook dinner here?” Thirteen tried again.
This time Cuddy responded with a shrug of the shoulders. Deciding that the easiest thing to do would be to take that as a yes, Thirteen left the room and went into the kitchen.
She refused to think about the possibility that Cuddy knew about her affair with Cameron. After all; surely she would have confronted her? That was more Cuddy’s style. Maybe she was just tired and not up for talking much? Thirteen was probably just paranoid after the events of the last few days.
Not really knowing what Cuddy wanted to eat, Thirteen set about making a simple pasta dish. She focused on the ingredients, finding that if she did so it stopped her thinking about other things that were on her mind. However, in the whole time that she was cooking Cuddy stayed out of the kitchen, leaving Thirteen alone. This in itself was strange; Cuddy never allowed Thirteen to cook without interfering, and she usually ended up taking over and cooking herself. But this time? Nothing.
In what seemed like hours to Thirteen but in reality was probably no more than twenty minutes or so; she was done. She called for Cuddy to come into the kitchen, and though it took her a couple of minutes to appear; Thirteen was glad that she wasn’t being completely ignored. She chose to take this as a sign of encouragement that Cuddy hadn’t overheard her confrontation with Cameron earlier on. She smiled at the other woman, seeing no need to bring the subject up. For the moment at least.
“I didn’t know what you wanted so I just went with pasta,” Thirteen set the plate and cutlery down at the kitchen table, there being no need for them to use the formal dining room. They only ever did that when they were having a special night in together; and this wasn’t exactly an occasion which warranted that.
“Pasta’s fine,” Cuddy said quietly.
“Good,” Thirteen replied. She was glad that Cuddy had spoken but she didn’t like the fact that there was still no eye contact from her. Therefore, she continued to sit opposite Cuddy worried and enduring the awkward silence. She had really wanted to tell Cuddy about House’s discovery so that she wasn’t surprised when he confronted her about it tomorrow; but somehow she didn’t think that was the best thing to bring up right now considering Cuddy’s mood.
“How was your day?” Thirteen prompted.
“Fine,” Cuddy replied dully.
Not able to stop herself; Thirteen noted aloud, “You know that “fine” has been your answer to everything I’ve said so far.”
“Has it?” Cuddy replied dryly. “My apologies.” She picked at her food, playing with it rather than eating it.
Thirteen paused. It seemed she would have to bring up what happened today whether she wanted to or not. She didn’t think she could stand the tension any longer. “Are you being like this because of earlier when Cameron and I argued?”
Cuddy remained silent.
“It is; isn’t it?” Thirteen reached across the table to place her hand on Cuddy’s. The moment she made contact with Cuddy’s skin, the woman wrenched her hand away. “Lisa,” Thirteen tried again. “Please don’t be like this.”
“Like what?” Cuddy snapped, finally showing some emotion.
Thirteen sighed. “I’ve told you there’s nothing going on.”
Cuddy laughed. “If you say so.”
“Lisa!” Thirteen exclaimed. “For God’s sake; why are you being like this?”
Cuddy stood, indicating that the conversation was over. She ignored Thirteen’s question to her. “You know, I’m not so hungry anymore.” She picked up the plate and emptied the remaining food into the bin.
Thirteen watched; not knowing what to say, what to do. She had no appetite either, and so she put down her fork and stood up to walk over to Cuddy. Moving to hug her, Cuddy foresaw this coming and she ducked under Thirteen’s arm, leaving the kitchen. Sighing, Thirteen began clearing up and came to the decision that she would give Cuddy a few minutes to calm down before she approached her again. Maybe she should leave the subject of Cameron for now? Thirteen was sure that Cuddy only suspected; if she’d heard anything or had proof then she never would have allowed Thirteen into the house. That meant that if Thirteen kept denying that anything was going on, maybe Cuddy would eventually believe her.
Once she had finished tidying up the kitchen, Thirteen left to see where her girlfriend had disappeared. She discovered Cuddy sitting in the living room, her legs curled up in front of her and her arms around them, tucking herself into a ball. She was staring at the television news, though Thirteen doubted that she was actually watching it. Tentatively, Thirteen sat next to her, her eyes locked onto Cuddy. Against her better judgement she placed a hand on Cuddy’s shoulder, feeling her stiffen, but not pull away. “Babe?” She said softly.
“Can you shut up? I’m watching this,” Cuddy said, her voice back to its’ monotone state.
Knowing full well that Cuddy was lying but having no proof, Thirteen accepted her words. “Sorry,” she apologised, removing her hand and staying quiet.
A good ten to fifteen minutes passed before the silence was broken by something other than the television. The news had finished and it had moved onto the weather, though Thirteen was sure that Cuddy was completely unaware of this fact. She herself seemed to be paying more attention to the TV than Cuddy as she attempted to take her mind off everything that had happened. Surprisingly, it was Cuddy who spoke first; causing Thirteen to jump. She had expected to be the one who started the conversation herself, as it appeared Cuddy was intent on ignore her presence. It seemed she’d be proven wrong.
“So,” Cuddy asked casually, still facing forward. “How long have you been fucking Cameron?”
Thirteen was speechless. Just what exactly could she say to that? She opened her mouth to deny the allegation, but no words would come out.
“Actually; forget I said that,” Cuddy continued. “We’ve only been together for three months so it doesn’t say a lot for our relationship no matter how long. No, how many times have you fucked Cameron? Once? More than once?”
“I... Lisa I’ve told you...” Thirteen stammered.
“Yes I know what lies you’ve told me, now I want the truth,” Cuddy interrupted, almost impatiently.
“That is the truth,” Thirteen directly faced Cuddy, pleading for her to believe what she was saying. “I love you, Lisa.”
Cuddy finally turned to look into Thirteen’s eyes. “No you don’t. If you loved me then you wouldn’t do this to me. You wouldn’t screw someone else, you wouldn’t lie to me, you wouldn't do this.”
Thirteen reached out, grabbed Cuddy’s hand. She tried to pull away, but Thirteen held on tightly. “There’s only you,” she willed Cuddy to believe her. It didn’t matter what she said, she wouldn’t admit it. Eventually Cuddy would believe her.
She had to.
Cuddy stood, violently ripping her hand away from Thirteen. “I’m going to bed,” she announced, leaving the room. It was only nine o’clock but evidently she didn’t wish to spend another moment in the company of Thirteen.
Thirteen felt her heart thudding hard against her chest and she shut her eyes, trying to calm down. It was a total mess, and she didn’t see any way out of it. If she admitted she had cheated then she knew Cuddy would end their relationship. If she didn’t then she risked Cuddy ending it anyway, or continuing to behave like this. Neither option was appealing, but she couldn’t bring herself to decide what to do yet. If she went with the former choice there was no going back, and so she would keep her mouth shut.
For now.
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