heart, mind, soul
It occurred to me that I never update this journal anymore. For some reason, I just find it boring to discuss my daily life now. Nothing exciting ever happens, and though it's sometimes nice to remember the little things that you probably will forget almost immediately, I don't find any enjoy in recording them anymore. But I found an old notebook that I put together where I grouped some of my best poems together by age, in hopes of someday gathering enough to use as a manuscript. I was young and stupid at the time and thought that it would help me in finding an agent; that's right, at one point all I wanted was to be a famous poet. It's funny to me, because being so naive seems both cute and stupid at the same time. So you lucky readers of my journal get to be the only ones who see my wonderful poetry. It starts at age 10 and ends at age 13. You can read more recent poems in past entries, but trust me... I was a better writer in fifth grade.
By the way, the working title for this.... The Heart, Mind and Soul of a Young Poet
Life Under a Rock
How can you see
everything there is to see
when you're shy?
How can you get out into the sunshine
when you can't start over again?
What is life like under a rock?
How do you know
when the time has come
to let go of the past?
How can you live
when you're always
on the verge of dying?
How do you live
under a rock all your life?
The Mirror
Life is fake.
I look into the mirror
and the shallow image in it
frowns back at me.
His mind reels
and he is tired,
tired of the foolishness,
the pressure.
The mirror tells no lies.
It speaks the horrible,hurtful
truth.
The emptiness expressed in the glass
shows no future for me,
none for my reflection.
There is no love for my heart,
no one to think of,
nothing to obsess over.
The mirror tells no lies.
Precious
Come one and all
to see the amazing human death.
Love the way to go.
All I Can Do
All I can do
is hope
and pray...
that you'll still be with me.
That I won't lose you.
And that you won't
forget me.
I'll remember you
if you remember me.
Turn the Page
Turn the page of light
to see all you left behind.
Turn the page of life
to see it's time to move on.
Sometimes
Sometimes I feel
like no one cares.
Like I'm a lost soul,
just looking for a warm family.
Sometimes I feel
like a prisoner in my own home.
Sometimes I feel
alone.
Like there's no one else
in the world.
No human contact.
Sometimes I feel alone.
Road Trip
On our road trip
we stay at an old hotel.
I try to fall asleep
but am awakened
by a bright light.
I look up,
an angel looks down.
My time
has come.
Weep
I can hear you
weep
through the thick walls.
He left you
for a cover girl.
Not So Long Ago
You used to comfort me
with the sliver of your life
you lent me.
The Zephyr Blows
I sit on the porch
and watch the clouds roll by.
They remind me of my lover
and the times we spent
together.
The good times,
the bad times,
the unfortunate times.
Thoughts race through
my head
as the zephyr blows.
Of all the times
of beauty.
I cry
tears of pearls,
as the zephyr blows.
I see her face
in the sky.
I cry some more
as the zephyr blows.
Rocking in my chair,
I watch the clouds
disappear
behind the setting sun.
Collect
Collect your thoughts
and send them
to me.
Place your loves
in an envelope
and seal it up
tight.
Devour
Devour
me
along
with
your
thoughts.
The Heart, Mind and Soul of a Young Poet
The heart of a young poet
helps you glide along
the bumpy road of life.
The mind of a young poet
is filled with thoughts
waiting to be
put to paper.
The soul of a young poet
can reach deep down into others,
telling them -
"Read!
Read what he has to share!"
//////////////
Forgery
Don't try to be
something you aren't.
I'll find out.
Don't pretend to do
something you can't.
I'll see it.
Don't fake your love.
I'll know.
Not Quite Alive
Please excuse
my erroneous ways.
I've not yet learned to live.
I've slept on it
for too long.
I need to confess it.
To revel.
I need to forgive myself
for feeling less
than alive.
Popularity
Every time I search myself,
trip over myself,
I come across the person
I adore.
The one I idolize.
She who smiles
poetically.
She who fears
nothing.
The girl who laughs
unnecessarily.
The lovely one
whose heart belongs
to someone popular.
From Under My Skin
Why do I put myself
through strife?
There has to be
a better way
to get to you.
But you get under
my skin
and twist inside,
and writhe and squirm
like the parasite you are.
Of Love and Roses
The price of love
is beyond you.
The time (you're right)
is running short.
Our love must make it,
for my sanity's sake.
As roses of red
fall from beneath us,
may our lives be shared
and our dreams
and hopes
come true.
Kingdom Forever
His kingdom fell.
His hopes as well.
His dreams
collapsed.
His memories
faded.
Of all the times
he thought
his kingdom was forever.
What he thought would never
happen,
did.
His kingdom was not
forever.
(Finalist at the county level - PTA Reflections contest 2000)
Is
Is it too hard to act nice?
Is it longer still?
Is it time to let go?
Is your love worth it?
Is time ticking too quickly?
Is that how you always act?
Is insanity an underestimation?
Is this life worth living?
Is eternity really forever?
Is this almost finished?
Is this the end?
I Cried
Today I cried.
In the darkness
where no one could see,
I cried.
Fell victim
to sensitivity.
Rain washed over me
and I was reborn.
Wet to the bone,
in the darkness,
where no one could see....
Slay Them
You had
unidentified tendencies
to slay dreamers
and hopefuls.
Those who
bled for you,
cried on you,
gave in to you,
and solved you.
Slay their dreams,
burst their bubbles.
I want to discover you,
will you slay me too?
Raucous Beat
I hear and tolerate
the raucous beating
of your dank heart.
I hear no joy,
no pleasure,
no love.
I experience your pain,
your bigotry,
your hate.
I feel your life.
I sorely can't help,
so I'll just listen
to your heart
and its raucous beat.
Sealed in Secret Chambers
Dreams are wishes your heart makes
while you sleep.
I wish to be unveiled.
I cloak a feeling
and a secret,
both too massive
to reveal.
I look for heartfelt inspiration,
and find it in my heart's
sealed chambers.
Found no reasons to stop.
To stop this feeling.
Dead at Midnight
I lie here
trying to comprehend.
My heart is dead.
It no longer beats
feelings of love.
My reputation is blind.
No one sees the me
I want them to see.
They see the me
on the outside.
Where's my internal self?
My hands are deaf.
They wander relentlessly
across seas of silence.
I'm dead at midnight.
Where have I gone?
Don't Look Back at Me
Travel on.
Don't look back at my tears,
falling forever.
Keep going.
Don't look back at my face,
twisted and crestfallen.
Don't look upon me
in sadness and grief.
Only look back
in remembrance of joy.
Don't look back at me.
Just remember.
Official
Grant me access
to be denied.
Starve my affection.
I used to know
which way I went.
What was ahead
and behind.
Going, been there before,
done that old thing.
Now the only part I could
never understand
is you.
What's your riddle?
Who's your official?
Authorization
is no contest to when
I gain it.
Anymore
Flames of orange
paint my mind.
My every other thought
is of you.
You burn me.
You sting my imagination.
You are of the elements
of fire and earth.
You've swept me up
in a tornado of emotion.
I can't be with you anymore,
and it hurts.
I have pangs of guilt.
I have high expectations,
and you've met them.
Where Do Wildflowers Grow?
Where do wildflowers grow?
Do the sweet scents
of freesia
bloom in your heart?
Do violets flower
in your mind?
Do wildflowers blossom
in your palms
and sit and sing?
Where do wildflowers grow?
In you?
The Only One
I am the only one,
the only me.
I am the only one
who is loved
and despised at the
same time.
I am the only one
with heart and mind,
true.
I am the only one
who loves to sing of joy
but equally to cry.
I am the only one
who runs from it all,
who wants to leave.
I am the only one,
the only me,
and that's only what I can
be.
Whenever You Feel the Need
Comfort me
whenever you feel the need to.
Heal the wounded.
Be what you want to be
and feel free.
Free to want.
Free to need.
Free to love.
Set yourself on low
and meet with me.
Care for me
whenever you feel the need to.
I know you want to.
I know you will.
Free the captured.
Run with the slave.
Do what needs to
be done.
Be graceful.
Love me
whenever you feel the need to.
Be with me
You say you can't be left alone
for fear of losing me.
Express yourself
whenever you feel the need to.
Open up to me.
Be willing
whenever you feel the need to.
Be selfish and mad
and drive me crazy.
Feel unconstrained
and run wild.
Wear yourself out
whenever you feel the need to.
Shine
like dew droplets
and glitter
like crystal.
Be insane
whenever you feel the need to.
Be exciting
and loud
and catch me off guard.
Surprise me.
Please be
absolute and
pure.
Be strange and mysterious
on all occasions.
Be enigmatic and difficult
whenever you feel the need to.
////////////////
Where It Starts and Ends
The love you feel but don’t show
can be discovered though you don’t know
where to look or even where to start;
start deep in your soul and end in your heart.
And I Might Live
You could strike
and hold me down,
but I still live,
still am.
You could alarm me
and throw things,
but I still breathe,
deep.
You could forgive
or forget me,
but I still walk.
You could wander out
and leave me lonesome,
and I might breathe,
walk,
and be.
I might live.
A Bird Flew Away
A bird flew away
with my dreams.
He stole them
and I almost heard him laugh as he soared.
So I’m left lost
and empty-minded,
my thoughts awry
and the scent of loss
thick upon me.
What is loss
if you’ve nothing to lose?
What is life
if there’s none to lead?
What is faith
if there’s nothing to love?
Where did that bird go
with my sanity?
In Between is Where I Lie
Between the sand the stone is where I lie-
a tiny hovel where I’ll probably die-
All alone on this empty street-
where praying will never, ever come to be.
Between love and hate is where I lie-
a tiny heartache where I’ll probably die.
Mortality
Your sight, it wanders.
Your eyes to seek to find.
A crack in the wall...
and weakness in my mind.
You look down in frustration.
Can’t find a common flaw.
There is one buried somewhere,
but you can’t see it at all.
My weakness, as you call it,
no one else will see.
For my internal weakness
is my own mortality.
Blue
I want what’s mine and
I want yours too.
But everything you touch is blue.
I want adventure,
I want something new.
But everything you are
is faded and blue.
I want someone hot,
I want a love that’s cool.
But everything you feel
is nothing but blue.
I want to be amazed...
I want you.
But everything you are
is far too blue.
Innocence and Friendship
Since the death of innocence and friendship
I’ve drifted along a silent sea
The beast of sadness consumed me
Since I’ve lost innocence and friendship
I’ve been more than afraid
I can’t seem to find the way
Where did innocence and friendship go?
He left without trace
And left behind an empty space
(In loving memory of Daniel Paul Larkin: May 10, 1988-June 30, 2001)
Strangest of All Strange Things
Love is the strangest
of all strange things;
it delivers happiness
but sadness it also brings.
It can make you laugh,
it can make you cry.
It can run out on you,
it can tell you lies.
But love is always there
like a light to guide the way
when everything else you know
is lost and gone astray.
Far Away
As time goes on,
I leave myself behind.
Hopefully not lost
but for someone else to find.
As life rolls along,
I can’t help but feel astray.
For I’m really only succeeding
in being older and far away.
I’ll Always Be Right There
When the world deserts you
And your tears start to flow
When you need someone to hold on to
When you need someone to know
Through thick and thin
When it’s too much to bear
I’ll never quit
I’ll always be right there
When there’s nothing you can do
And there’s nowhere left to hide
I’ll be there for you
I’ll always be by your side
White Picket Fence
The promises died,
the lies remained.
But another blow to the head
I can’t sustain.
Where’s the white picket fence,
the house of thriving dreams?
What happened to that life,
the perfect one you said we’d lead?
The fence has rotted
the dreams are all broken.
The perfect life doesn’t exist,
except the one in my mind that’s been left unspoken.
Broken Glass
This piece of glass I have in my hand
To stop my body right where I stand
These insane thoughts running through my head
The only way to stop them is to be dead...
No one is here, no one to see
To see this broken glass embedded deep in me
The time is right, but am I wrong?
Wrong to give up, to stop being strong?
No matter if it's the right thing to do
These thoughts,my God, what else can I do?
Goodbye,crazy thoughts, it's time I leave you
This glass in my hand now has a job to do
Do or Say
What would you do if you
were drenched in sin-
were caught looking in-
couldn’t win?
What would you say if you
woke up looking down-
couldn’t make a sound-
never had feet on the ground?
What would you do?
What would you say?
I hope I’ll never find out someday.
All poems are original creations and belong John J. Boccanfuso
By the way, the working title for this.... The Heart, Mind and Soul of a Young Poet
Life Under a Rock
How can you see
everything there is to see
when you're shy?
How can you get out into the sunshine
when you can't start over again?
What is life like under a rock?
How do you know
when the time has come
to let go of the past?
How can you live
when you're always
on the verge of dying?
How do you live
under a rock all your life?
The Mirror
Life is fake.
I look into the mirror
and the shallow image in it
frowns back at me.
His mind reels
and he is tired,
tired of the foolishness,
the pressure.
The mirror tells no lies.
It speaks the horrible,hurtful
truth.
The emptiness expressed in the glass
shows no future for me,
none for my reflection.
There is no love for my heart,
no one to think of,
nothing to obsess over.
The mirror tells no lies.
Precious
Come one and all
to see the amazing human death.
Love the way to go.
All I Can Do
All I can do
is hope
and pray...
that you'll still be with me.
That I won't lose you.
And that you won't
forget me.
I'll remember you
if you remember me.
Turn the Page
Turn the page of light
to see all you left behind.
Turn the page of life
to see it's time to move on.
Sometimes
Sometimes I feel
like no one cares.
Like I'm a lost soul,
just looking for a warm family.
Sometimes I feel
like a prisoner in my own home.
Sometimes I feel
alone.
Like there's no one else
in the world.
No human contact.
Sometimes I feel alone.
Road Trip
On our road trip
we stay at an old hotel.
I try to fall asleep
but am awakened
by a bright light.
I look up,
an angel looks down.
My time
has come.
Weep
I can hear you
weep
through the thick walls.
He left you
for a cover girl.
Not So Long Ago
You used to comfort me
with the sliver of your life
you lent me.
The Zephyr Blows
I sit on the porch
and watch the clouds roll by.
They remind me of my lover
and the times we spent
together.
The good times,
the bad times,
the unfortunate times.
Thoughts race through
my head
as the zephyr blows.
Of all the times
of beauty.
I cry
tears of pearls,
as the zephyr blows.
I see her face
in the sky.
I cry some more
as the zephyr blows.
Rocking in my chair,
I watch the clouds
disappear
behind the setting sun.
Collect
Collect your thoughts
and send them
to me.
Place your loves
in an envelope
and seal it up
tight.
Devour
Devour
me
along
with
your
thoughts.
The Heart, Mind and Soul of a Young Poet
The heart of a young poet
helps you glide along
the bumpy road of life.
The mind of a young poet
is filled with thoughts
waiting to be
put to paper.
The soul of a young poet
can reach deep down into others,
telling them -
"Read!
Read what he has to share!"
//////////////
Forgery
Don't try to be
something you aren't.
I'll find out.
Don't pretend to do
something you can't.
I'll see it.
Don't fake your love.
I'll know.
Not Quite Alive
Please excuse
my erroneous ways.
I've not yet learned to live.
I've slept on it
for too long.
I need to confess it.
To revel.
I need to forgive myself
for feeling less
than alive.
Popularity
Every time I search myself,
trip over myself,
I come across the person
I adore.
The one I idolize.
She who smiles
poetically.
She who fears
nothing.
The girl who laughs
unnecessarily.
The lovely one
whose heart belongs
to someone popular.
From Under My Skin
Why do I put myself
through strife?
There has to be
a better way
to get to you.
But you get under
my skin
and twist inside,
and writhe and squirm
like the parasite you are.
Of Love and Roses
The price of love
is beyond you.
The time (you're right)
is running short.
Our love must make it,
for my sanity's sake.
As roses of red
fall from beneath us,
may our lives be shared
and our dreams
and hopes
come true.
Kingdom Forever
His kingdom fell.
His hopes as well.
His dreams
collapsed.
His memories
faded.
Of all the times
he thought
his kingdom was forever.
What he thought would never
happen,
did.
His kingdom was not
forever.
(Finalist at the county level - PTA Reflections contest 2000)
Is
Is it too hard to act nice?
Is it longer still?
Is it time to let go?
Is your love worth it?
Is time ticking too quickly?
Is that how you always act?
Is insanity an underestimation?
Is this life worth living?
Is eternity really forever?
Is this almost finished?
Is this the end?
I Cried
Today I cried.
In the darkness
where no one could see,
I cried.
Fell victim
to sensitivity.
Rain washed over me
and I was reborn.
Wet to the bone,
in the darkness,
where no one could see....
Slay Them
You had
unidentified tendencies
to slay dreamers
and hopefuls.
Those who
bled for you,
cried on you,
gave in to you,
and solved you.
Slay their dreams,
burst their bubbles.
I want to discover you,
will you slay me too?
Raucous Beat
I hear and tolerate
the raucous beating
of your dank heart.
I hear no joy,
no pleasure,
no love.
I experience your pain,
your bigotry,
your hate.
I feel your life.
I sorely can't help,
so I'll just listen
to your heart
and its raucous beat.
Sealed in Secret Chambers
Dreams are wishes your heart makes
while you sleep.
I wish to be unveiled.
I cloak a feeling
and a secret,
both too massive
to reveal.
I look for heartfelt inspiration,
and find it in my heart's
sealed chambers.
Found no reasons to stop.
To stop this feeling.
Dead at Midnight
I lie here
trying to comprehend.
My heart is dead.
It no longer beats
feelings of love.
My reputation is blind.
No one sees the me
I want them to see.
They see the me
on the outside.
Where's my internal self?
My hands are deaf.
They wander relentlessly
across seas of silence.
I'm dead at midnight.
Where have I gone?
Don't Look Back at Me
Travel on.
Don't look back at my tears,
falling forever.
Keep going.
Don't look back at my face,
twisted and crestfallen.
Don't look upon me
in sadness and grief.
Only look back
in remembrance of joy.
Don't look back at me.
Just remember.
Official
Grant me access
to be denied.
Starve my affection.
I used to know
which way I went.
What was ahead
and behind.
Going, been there before,
done that old thing.
Now the only part I could
never understand
is you.
What's your riddle?
Who's your official?
Authorization
is no contest to when
I gain it.
Anymore
Flames of orange
paint my mind.
My every other thought
is of you.
You burn me.
You sting my imagination.
You are of the elements
of fire and earth.
You've swept me up
in a tornado of emotion.
I can't be with you anymore,
and it hurts.
I have pangs of guilt.
I have high expectations,
and you've met them.
Where Do Wildflowers Grow?
Where do wildflowers grow?
Do the sweet scents
of freesia
bloom in your heart?
Do violets flower
in your mind?
Do wildflowers blossom
in your palms
and sit and sing?
Where do wildflowers grow?
In you?
The Only One
I am the only one,
the only me.
I am the only one
who is loved
and despised at the
same time.
I am the only one
with heart and mind,
true.
I am the only one
who loves to sing of joy
but equally to cry.
I am the only one
who runs from it all,
who wants to leave.
I am the only one,
the only me,
and that's only what I can
be.
Whenever You Feel the Need
Comfort me
whenever you feel the need to.
Heal the wounded.
Be what you want to be
and feel free.
Free to want.
Free to need.
Free to love.
Set yourself on low
and meet with me.
Care for me
whenever you feel the need to.
I know you want to.
I know you will.
Free the captured.
Run with the slave.
Do what needs to
be done.
Be graceful.
Love me
whenever you feel the need to.
Be with me
You say you can't be left alone
for fear of losing me.
Express yourself
whenever you feel the need to.
Open up to me.
Be willing
whenever you feel the need to.
Be selfish and mad
and drive me crazy.
Feel unconstrained
and run wild.
Wear yourself out
whenever you feel the need to.
Shine
like dew droplets
and glitter
like crystal.
Be insane
whenever you feel the need to.
Be exciting
and loud
and catch me off guard.
Surprise me.
Please be
absolute and
pure.
Be strange and mysterious
on all occasions.
Be enigmatic and difficult
whenever you feel the need to.
////////////////
Where It Starts and Ends
The love you feel but don’t show
can be discovered though you don’t know
where to look or even where to start;
start deep in your soul and end in your heart.
And I Might Live
You could strike
and hold me down,
but I still live,
still am.
You could alarm me
and throw things,
but I still breathe,
deep.
You could forgive
or forget me,
but I still walk.
You could wander out
and leave me lonesome,
and I might breathe,
walk,
and be.
I might live.
A Bird Flew Away
A bird flew away
with my dreams.
He stole them
and I almost heard him laugh as he soared.
So I’m left lost
and empty-minded,
my thoughts awry
and the scent of loss
thick upon me.
What is loss
if you’ve nothing to lose?
What is life
if there’s none to lead?
What is faith
if there’s nothing to love?
Where did that bird go
with my sanity?
In Between is Where I Lie
Between the sand the stone is where I lie-
a tiny hovel where I’ll probably die-
All alone on this empty street-
where praying will never, ever come to be.
Between love and hate is where I lie-
a tiny heartache where I’ll probably die.
Mortality
Your sight, it wanders.
Your eyes to seek to find.
A crack in the wall...
and weakness in my mind.
You look down in frustration.
Can’t find a common flaw.
There is one buried somewhere,
but you can’t see it at all.
My weakness, as you call it,
no one else will see.
For my internal weakness
is my own mortality.
Blue
I want what’s mine and
I want yours too.
But everything you touch is blue.
I want adventure,
I want something new.
But everything you are
is faded and blue.
I want someone hot,
I want a love that’s cool.
But everything you feel
is nothing but blue.
I want to be amazed...
I want you.
But everything you are
is far too blue.
Innocence and Friendship
Since the death of innocence and friendship
I’ve drifted along a silent sea
The beast of sadness consumed me
Since I’ve lost innocence and friendship
I’ve been more than afraid
I can’t seem to find the way
Where did innocence and friendship go?
He left without trace
And left behind an empty space
(In loving memory of Daniel Paul Larkin: May 10, 1988-June 30, 2001)
Strangest of All Strange Things
Love is the strangest
of all strange things;
it delivers happiness
but sadness it also brings.
It can make you laugh,
it can make you cry.
It can run out on you,
it can tell you lies.
But love is always there
like a light to guide the way
when everything else you know
is lost and gone astray.
Far Away
As time goes on,
I leave myself behind.
Hopefully not lost
but for someone else to find.
As life rolls along,
I can’t help but feel astray.
For I’m really only succeeding
in being older and far away.
I’ll Always Be Right There
When the world deserts you
And your tears start to flow
When you need someone to hold on to
When you need someone to know
Through thick and thin
When it’s too much to bear
I’ll never quit
I’ll always be right there
When there’s nothing you can do
And there’s nowhere left to hide
I’ll be there for you
I’ll always be by your side
White Picket Fence
The promises died,
the lies remained.
But another blow to the head
I can’t sustain.
Where’s the white picket fence,
the house of thriving dreams?
What happened to that life,
the perfect one you said we’d lead?
The fence has rotted
the dreams are all broken.
The perfect life doesn’t exist,
except the one in my mind that’s been left unspoken.
Broken Glass
This piece of glass I have in my hand
To stop my body right where I stand
These insane thoughts running through my head
The only way to stop them is to be dead...
No one is here, no one to see
To see this broken glass embedded deep in me
The time is right, but am I wrong?
Wrong to give up, to stop being strong?
No matter if it's the right thing to do
These thoughts,my God, what else can I do?
Goodbye,crazy thoughts, it's time I leave you
This glass in my hand now has a job to do
Do or Say
What would you do if you
were drenched in sin-
were caught looking in-
couldn’t win?
What would you say if you
woke up looking down-
couldn’t make a sound-
never had feet on the ground?
What would you do?
What would you say?
I hope I’ll never find out someday.
All poems are original creations and belong John J. Boccanfuso