Affirmation
I have decided that if this year is going to be as prosperous as possible, I shall have to do some major planning in terms of scheduling. I think half the time my downfall is in the fact that I get so easily distracted by things that I shouldn't, for example tidying my desk, eating M&Ms...you get the picture. I suppose it has been due to the fact that I have been lacking confidence in almost everything, and while most of that has finally come to a wonky and uneven but functional keel, I still feel that I have a while to go in restoring my confidence in many ways. I have decided that to motivate me, I will go to uni five days a week. I will be enforcing this with fascist efficiency. The trains will run on time, at least figuratively speaking. When work rings me at uni I will say "no." I will feel no guilt in this. I have also decided to stop selling myself short in so many things and make proactive changes to improve things. I am going to join the uni gym and force Annie to come with me. If possible I will go some mornings as well. I want to feel healthy again. I used to like running! What happened to that Lauren? I was good at sport! I was the sporty one in my group in Darwin! Dammit! And I am going to make an active attempt to save. I need to in order to finance my overseas stint in Indonesia. Visas, etc = not cheap. And there is actually the distinct possibility I will be teaching one, if not two Indonesian language classes in semester 2. Helen has already spoken to me about this. That'd be awesome. And the following year, I should pick up some work in the history department teaching Cultural Traditions of Southeast Asia and Genocide Studies for Bob. So there are some pretty sweet prospects on the horizon which I am looking forward to. I have to get my shit together and realise that this year is the first year in about four that I have actually felt good about myself and what I am doing.
This is something that excites me no end.
This is something that excites me no end.