sexism exists in subtleties
Lou and I bought a house yesterday! Something that has been in the making for a few months now, and got rushed at the end. We are now renting our house to the sellers for a week until they can more into their new home. A weird transaction, not quite like HGTV, but good none the less.
There's something that irked me. Through this whole process, I have been the primary communicator. I found our realtor, and picked the houses with her. I found our mortgage broker and all the phone conversations and emails were addressed to me. Lou and I bought a house we both loved, and he was there for general home inspection with me, but I was there alone for the pest inspection, roof inspection, well inspection. I found our insurance agent. But guess whose name was first on all the documents? Not mine. Louis N. Stamis is the buyer and borrower. I am the co-buyer and co-borrower.
I could say it is because Lou had the highest credit score, because Louis comes before Sarah alphabetically, or because technically it was his money that paid for the down-payment. but they don't know it was his money.
It was because he is a man and I am a woman.
That simple fact, that he is the man in the relationship, that the terms are explained to him and his name goes on everything first. You think that if I had kept my maiden name "Daniel" that I would have been on the documents first? me neither. Even though everyone knew my face, my voice, Lou went first. It's not a big deal, I like everyone I selected to work with, they were all wonderful. But that was sexist!
There's something that irked me. Through this whole process, I have been the primary communicator. I found our realtor, and picked the houses with her. I found our mortgage broker and all the phone conversations and emails were addressed to me. Lou and I bought a house we both loved, and he was there for general home inspection with me, but I was there alone for the pest inspection, roof inspection, well inspection. I found our insurance agent. But guess whose name was first on all the documents? Not mine. Louis N. Stamis is the buyer and borrower. I am the co-buyer and co-borrower.
I could say it is because Lou had the highest credit score, because Louis comes before Sarah alphabetically, or because technically it was his money that paid for the down-payment. but they don't know it was his money.
It was because he is a man and I am a woman.
That simple fact, that he is the man in the relationship, that the terms are explained to him and his name goes on everything first. You think that if I had kept my maiden name "Daniel" that I would have been on the documents first? me neither. Even though everyone knew my face, my voice, Lou went first. It's not a big deal, I like everyone I selected to work with, they were all wonderful. But that was sexist!