Anything Goes Meme stories III
We've all seen those Mary Sues who 'travel back in time' and join the *Surprise*. What would happen if our boys came forward in time to the present?
Into the Present
With an enormous explosion the ship burst into a million pieces. Jack and Stephen were thrown into the water, along with the rest of the crew. Jack surfaced first, followed by Stephen. The two swam towards each other, too grateful that the other was alive to realize that all traces of the wreckage and other crew members had disappeared.
They looked around, bewildered, when suddenly an enormous ship began to approach from the distance. It was like nothing either of them had ever seen. It was a monstrosity of metal, with huge smokestacks and what had to be several decks. Despite it's oddity, it was their only chance of survival out in the open ocean, so Jack and Stephen were content, if not slightly wary, when they were pulled aboard by the oddly dressed crew members, who told them that the ship was a Carnival Cruise Ship from America, en route back to Florida.
Stephen was the first to realize that something was definitely amiss. While Americans had never been known to be at the forefront of fashion, the styles worn by the people on the cruise were too far removed from anything he had ever seen to be simply a strange American style. And there were big square screens with moving pictures on them, and voices coming from nowhere, and lights blinking on and off.
"I believe we may be in the future Jack," he said quietly. Jack didn't hear him. They had emerged onto a deck with a giant pool, and several women were walking around comfortably in barely any clothes at all.
"Wherever we are, I want to stay!!!" Said Jack, running off after a petite blonde. Stephen sighed and walked back to the cabin they had been given. A member of the crew had showed him how to work the black box in the corner, calling it a television. He pressed the button to turn it on, intending to do some scientific research as to how the device worked, when he became distracted by an enormous close up image of a very rare insect, a British voice explaining it's mating habits. With a delighted squeal, Stephen settled himself in bed and watched as the entire natural world was paraded before his very eyes in stunning detail.
Stephen refused to move from in front of the TV for the rest of the journey to Florida, which created some problems for Jack who had found several very drunk young ladies who were not opposed to sexual activities. They finally compromised when Stephen found an even bigger TV in a lounge, freeing the cabin and it's bed for Jack's personal use. His carnal activities were interrupted however when Stephen came rushing into the room, practically bouncing off the walls over his discovery of a place called Starbucks.
On reaching dry land, the two decided that this new world was far too exciting to try to abandon. Jack found a replica of an early 19th century battleship in need of a captain, his navigational know-how completely outweighing his lack of "reenacting" experience. He took tourists on little sails around the bay, staged fake battles with another replica ship, and on holiday weekends was allowed to cruise around to his hearts content. Stephen found work as a professor of medical history and zoology at the local university, and was frequently called on to star in the nature documentaries which had first enamored him of this strange new world.
And they all lived happily ever after. That is until Jack got arrested for using his ship to attack a "thumping great prize" (a Starbucks cargo ship) and Stephen got himself addicted to methamphetamine and crack.
Jack/Surprise…in a splintery way
by alltoseek
"Does that boy enjoy being sent to the masthead?" asked Captain Fidge. "This is the 5th time in as many days!"
The boy Jack skipped merrily up the rigging to his favourite position, straddling the crosstree. He spent a short time simply hugging the mast with long arms and legs, rubbing his groin up against the wood and humming contentedly to himself. After a while, he looked around to make sure none of the lookouts or men in the tops were watching his way, then surreptitiously opened his placket. His own pole was as firm and straight as the mast. He placed one hand between his belly and prick, palm turned out, and pressed his full length up and down against the mast. Leaning his cheek against it as well, he thought back to what had caused his tardiness to his watch, which in turn had sent him up here. All the mids knew of the small gap in the aftermost carline-culver of the larboard berth, where bait could be placed to catch millers to supplement their meagre diet; but Jack had conceived of another way to put that delightful hole to use...
Surprise/Jack…in a splintery way
By esteven
Sorry this is het...
She had been dozing ever since her officers had started to discuss the damage done to her by that French brute-beast. Thank goodness that though cannon balls have splintered one of her sides, a mast and several smaller parts of her, she does not feel anything. Only fire can hurt her.
She slightly sways, feeling small waves lapping her sides and is just dozing off again when her Aubrey speaks up sharply. The Surprise is not old. No one would call her old...No, she's not old. She's in her prime. His hand gently strokes and pats the splintered beam across one of the doors in her cabin. She feels his smile. Shame, he will never be able to hear her.
The next moment she stretches her bottom and sides, like a human sitting up straight Or can he? Has he realized how naughty she has been during the fight with that French salope and his caress had been his way of telling her she was forgiven for her stunt earlier on?
Her Aubrey had rushed up the companion ladder, had then been thrown back by the force of passing shots. She had bent and stretched the frame of the opening and prised a small sliver of wood from it. The splinter was supposed to fly past his right cheek in imitation of a minute caress. She had miscalculated and the small splinter had imbedded itself in the side of his throat. The doctor had extricated it soon after and she still heard her captain’s gasp. She remembered how her Aubrey had taken her piece of wood, had tapped at it and smiled ever so slightly...and now he had come to her defence.
Hmm, maybe after the humans have all left, she might catch some gossip from the guns in the great cabin? She had heard them mumble about the Maturin and her Aubrey frequently kissing them.
Killick/Silver for people with strong stomachs *g*
Killick saw the glances of disgust, heard the muttered comments. He knew what they all thought of him. Let them think what they wanted. He knew what was due the Captain's service: the very best he could give.
Killick carefully loaded the great serving platter with the rest of the silver and carried them down to the Captain's pantry, haughtily ignoring the mutterings of the men he passed on the way. "Bloody lazy buggers," he muttered, "if they only knew how much work it is to keep silver in order. Tarnishes like nothing in just a day - tarnishes even when tain't used - tarnishes you just looks at it!" And even one little spot of tarnish, even on the largest piece, will ruin the look of all of it.
Kneeling on the deck in the pantry, Killick carefully arranged the items on the platter so that the center, still fairly reflective from the last polishing, was clear. Each piece was neatly ordered so that none were touching, a little buffer around each precious one. The larger items - coffee pot, creamer, sugar bowl, etc., were on the edges; the smallest sugar spoons and butter knives nearest the empty area in the center.
Killick had ready the silver polish and the polishing rags. One by one he picked up each piece and carefully applied a thin layer of the polish entirely over it. He laid it back down in its place and picked up the next.
Now came the most important part, the part that set him above all other stewards in dedication, above all the other crew members in devotion to duty. For Killick added a secret ingredient, known only to himself, of his own invention, in fact. And part of the ingredient was a special substance, but that was only a part of it. The ceremony of producing it, the intention in his will, in his spirit, that's what made the magic work, he was sure. Even if anyone else knew of it, which no one did, because why? because he would never go a-telling of it, that's why. This secret would go to his grave. Not because it was shameful, but because it was his. In the Navy his whole bloody life, he knew no one on board a Navy ship had a secret, not for long, not for his whole life. The Captain might think he had secrets - he did not. The Doctor might think he had secrets too - far fewer than he thought. In course no one could read that bloody cryptic scrawl he wrote in, but that didn't matter, that was all about land secrets. No cared about land secrets. No such thing as a secret on board, Killick knew. Except Killick's. And no one would ever know.
He eased down his trousers and brought out his already stiffening prick. Nowadays just the thought of polishing the silver was enough to rouse him. While actually handling it, he had to work hard at thinking of something else to keep himself under control. But now being ready made this part a little easier. In the clear section of the platter he could watch his hand working up and down his shaft. The silver seemed to embrace him, loving him, his gift to it. He concentrated hard, hard, hard... Soon jets of his seed were spraying everywhere - he made certain it sprayed everywhere - everywhere over the silver, that is; not a drop wasted where it wasn't needed.
He took up a new rag and cleaned himself, then pulled up his trousers. Taking up the polish, the rag, and a piece of the silver, he set to the long tedious work of polishing thoroughly every single item with a contented humming.
As always comments are most welcome. Give them freely because this is another batch of good fic. :D Also, if authors would like to step forward?