Don't Break Me Again (Part 3)
Tiffany's POV
I was sitting down in a café, overlooking the fast-paced lives of the people outside, with a cup of caramel coffee in my hands.
2 weeks without her, I felt like the huge burden has been lifted off from my shoulders.
Don’t misunderstand.
I love her.
I still do.
But why tarnish the beautiful memories in the past by holding on to the unhappiness of the present?
And by not being with her has brought back the calamity that I’ve missed for so long.
I took a break from work, and life is slowly picking up.
I wasn’t thrilled that we broke up.
It hurts to see the past years that we built together end up in such.
But I believe in fate.
If we’re meant to be, there’ll be a way.
Maybe not now. Maybe in the future. Maybe never.
I guess it’s better to let go than holding on to something that keeps hurting us.
My blackberry vibrated.
I looked down at the table at picked it up.
Jessi?
I wondered what could contain in the text.
Jessi’Love: ‘Hey... just wondering how you’re holding up... hope you’re okay.’
Yeah. I never got myself to change her name.
I gave off a light scoff.
Is she missing me already?
As much as I’m relieved that we decided to part ways, there was something in me
that wanted her to know how it would be not to have me by her side.
Cocky much?
Yes.
But I can’t help it.
I can’t help to think that I never had any impact in her life since the past years, not to have her miss me the moment I’m out.
Yes. I wished she’d realise how wrong she was.
I took a while before responding.
I didn’t know what to say.
I wasn’t sure.
Tiff: ‘Hey... I’m doing okay. Hope you are too. Thanks for asking.’
And that’s how ‘formal’ and distant we were.
That was the last I heard from her that day.
I was resuming back my work in the office when a text came 2 days after the last.
Jessi.
Jessi’Love: ‘Hey Tiff... I wasn’t in the right state of mind. I’m sorry.’
Tiff: ‘Huh?’
Jessi’Love: I just wanna tell you, that I miss you. Being away from you makes me miss you... it’s a good sign right?’
My eyes were stinging with tears threatening to fall.
I never replied.
I haven’t heard from Jessi since.
---
Jessica's POV
She never did reply my text.
I’m missing her so bad.
I pondered over my actions.
I could understand why she’s not responding.
The past months, I was being a complete jerk.
Even jerk is an expression too nice.
I was horrible.
I was practically destroying her.
She trusted me with her heart.
But I ripped it apart.
I should’ve known how fragile she is.
I promised to protect her, but all I did was torture her.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
How wrong I was.
I wanted her forgiveness.
Most importantly, I wanted her back with me.
---
Tiffany's POV
I felt delighted that she’s missing me.
But I’m still exhausted.
I was mentally and emotionally drained.
I wasn’t ready for another fight.
The week finally ended.
Having taken the week off previously, I had so much to catch up on.
The weekend is here.
I’ve made plans with Hyo and Sun to have a weekend getaway.
I was excited.
Jessi’s sudden change of heart was not what I needed to deal with at the moment.
I don’t think she’s yet to be sure of what she wants.
And I’m not sure of what I want anymore.
The past months have froze my feelings towards her.
I don’t know what I’m feeling.
But all I know, I wasn’t ready to go through the whole cycle again. Not now.
Stepping out the lift, a bouquet of lilies was presented in front of me.
I was taken aback.
It’s been ages since I received one.
And the only one who would is Jessi.
My heart shook.
Images of the previous months flashed by.
---
Jessica's POV
‘Jessi?’
She called out my name.
How I missed her saying that.
I could hear the tremble in her voice.
I pulled down the bouquet covering my face.
‘Hey....’
Finally revealing the face I’ve missed.
The lips I longed to kiss.
The body I yearn to hug.
The hair I ache to smell.
She stared straight into my eyes, not breathing a word.
‘I miss...-‘
‘Don’t say it Jess.’
I looked up at her in bewilderment.
How could she stop me from expressing those words I’m dying to tell her?
But I had to.
I know the wrongs I did.
I don’t deny it.
And she has to know how sorry I am.
‘Tiff, I know you’re hurt. I know you’re mad. And it’s rude of me to come here,
unannounced expecting you to listen to what I have to say.’
‘I’m sorry. But please. Please listen to me.’
‘I’ll go if you really want me to.’
‘But for the last time, please listen to me.’
---
Tiffany's POV
I stood still, contemplating to grant her the chance.
She reached for my hand and I did not pull it away.
I guess that’s my heart saying to listen because my brain is bent on walking away.
With my hands in hers, she brought me into the car, buckled me up and drove away.
The route was familiar.
I knew where she was taking me to.
We arrived at the beach and sat on our favourite bench.
We stayed silent for a while before she started.
‘I was stupid and blind. I couldn’t see the jewel in front of me. The one who
stood by me. I threw that precious thing away. Slowly, further and further away.’
‘I admit that the job promotion was the start, and the stress was piling up.’
‘You were there to comfort me, but I made you my punching bag instead.’
‘I know how much my actions and words have hurt you. Baby, I’m sorry.’
‘No matter how much apology I’m gonna say, it won’t matter if I don’t prove it.’
‘All I’m asking is another chance. I cannot guarantee you what the future might be, but I can assure you that I’m willing to try. I want to try. I wanna change, and I wanna change for you.’
My tears were flowing freely with each words she said.
She stood up from beside of me, and went on bended knees.
I looked down, unwilling to face her.
She took my chin and lifts it up slowly.
She cleared my tears swiftly with the motion of her thumbs.
The look in her eyes, showed the Jessica I met years ago.
The eyes that made my heart skipped a beat.
And it did.
But my head and rational got the better of me.
I looked away.
---
Jessica's POV
I knew the confidence she had in me had depleted.
I knew the exhaustion she’s feeling.
I don’t blame her.
---
Tiffany's POV
‘Jessi, I can’t.’
My heart wanted to take back the words but I stood strong.
‘I’m tired Jess. I don’t have the strength to fight on.’
‘You left me hanging for months. I was lost.’
‘I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.’
‘I can’t do this anymore.’
She held on to my hands, moulding our hands together.
‘Tiff, do you love me?’
‘It doesn’t matter Jessi.’
‘It does Tiff. It does.’
‘As long as you love me, it does.’
‘Let me fight for us this time. Let me fight for our love.’
‘Give me a chance. We’ll start again. Let me win your heart again.’
‘Jessi....’
‘Don’t say no Tiff. We’ll change what went wrong. We’ll learn from it. I’ll learn
from it.’
My tears aren’t showing signs of stoppage.
She brought our foreheads together, and wiped the flowing tears.
‘Baby, one chance is all I’m asking.’
She brought my hands to her heart.
‘Tiff, trust me when I say it’s beating for you. It has always been. For you. Only you.’
‘I need you Tiff. I know it’s selfish of me, but I do. I wanna love you baby.’
---
Jessica's POV
I stood by her, waiting anxiously for an answer.
I don’t want her to give up on me.
I don’t want her to give up on us.
I can see her battling with herself.
‘Don’t break me Jessi.’
It came as a whisper, but I heard it loud and clear.
A smile broke on my face.
The contentment I’m feeling was beyond the capacity of words.
She looked up to me.
And I gave her my warmest smile.
‘Thanks baby.’
‘I won't and I’ll prove it to you.’
I brought her in an embrace with no plans, no plans at all to let her go ever
again.
'I love you.' I whispered in her ears.
'And I've never stopped loving you.' She says.