(no subject)
Dear Livejournal
I've rather been avoiding you these last few weeks; not conciously perhaps but I certainly haven't been ready to discuss my recent experiences. Its amazing just how quickly I fall into the role of protagonist in a Greek tradgety; I, the eternal victim, embarking on some interminable quest only for it to end in pathos. Well, if that is to be my role I accept it; I shall drink the bitter dregs of my experiences as it seems I am fated to do.
I went on holiday recently as some of you may have know; what you perhaps didn't know was the main reason for my holiday. I have, for quite a while, been talking to someone I really began to care very deeply about; intelligent, cultured, handsome and, most shocking of all, interested. We have spoken about the possibility of meeting one another for quite a while and so I booked one of my few holidays off work with the intention of seeing him and exploring his current city of London a little.
I did myself a great deservice, I convinced myself that the reason for visiting the city was simply due to wanting to see some of the sites and meet some people. I think it became obvious to me not long after arrival that my real reason for visiting was in the hopes of romance. I kept my scedule open and didn't arrange to meet anyone except my young gentleman; he couldn't give me a firm date afterall. Of course the details are wearisome but the upshot is that I never saw my gentleman, or even heard from him, and nor did any of the other people who I contacted seem interested in a conversation or a meal; I therefore spent three days in London alone.
I did get out and explore indeed, and I enjoyied my exploring, but it was in a slight pall of sadness. On one of the days I just walked for, well, it must have been around 5 hours and even now find it very hard to remember what I did with those middle few hours.
You know, I thought I could write about it but I don't think I can; i've gotten this far and it hurts to think on much more of it. I at least felt like I had romance these past few months and so all the other bad things didn't seem quite so bad but now it seems I have to start at the begining, once again.
I've rather been avoiding you these last few weeks; not conciously perhaps but I certainly haven't been ready to discuss my recent experiences. Its amazing just how quickly I fall into the role of protagonist in a Greek tradgety; I, the eternal victim, embarking on some interminable quest only for it to end in pathos. Well, if that is to be my role I accept it; I shall drink the bitter dregs of my experiences as it seems I am fated to do.
I went on holiday recently as some of you may have know; what you perhaps didn't know was the main reason for my holiday. I have, for quite a while, been talking to someone I really began to care very deeply about; intelligent, cultured, handsome and, most shocking of all, interested. We have spoken about the possibility of meeting one another for quite a while and so I booked one of my few holidays off work with the intention of seeing him and exploring his current city of London a little.
I did myself a great deservice, I convinced myself that the reason for visiting the city was simply due to wanting to see some of the sites and meet some people. I think it became obvious to me not long after arrival that my real reason for visiting was in the hopes of romance. I kept my scedule open and didn't arrange to meet anyone except my young gentleman; he couldn't give me a firm date afterall. Of course the details are wearisome but the upshot is that I never saw my gentleman, or even heard from him, and nor did any of the other people who I contacted seem interested in a conversation or a meal; I therefore spent three days in London alone.
I did get out and explore indeed, and I enjoyied my exploring, but it was in a slight pall of sadness. On one of the days I just walked for, well, it must have been around 5 hours and even now find it very hard to remember what I did with those middle few hours.
You know, I thought I could write about it but I don't think I can; i've gotten this far and it hurts to think on much more of it. I at least felt like I had romance these past few months and so all the other bad things didn't seem quite so bad but now it seems I have to start at the begining, once again.