perved on in another language (or lack of)
I just remembered something I really wished I hadn't.
So back in September I was in Brüsel, the coolest comic book store in Brussels, and one of my favourite places ever, and this guy brushes behind me. I say "sorry" with an awkward smile, assuming that he didn't mean to bump me in a narrow space, and he grins back.
It happens again: bump, brush, "sorry". But it feels weirder, this time, and I fail to smile.
The third time I feel...something far more definite, and realise he's been dragging his crotch across my rump. I stare openmouthed at him and he gives me the same fucking grin that I now understand means "b****, I have had your ass in a million different ways in my MIND."
I RUN upstairs, and would you believe it, after a minute or so he FOLLOWS me. I run back downstairs preparing to beg help from the lady at the till, but before I can do it he leaves.
I tried to give them a description of the guy but he was so generic (looking vaguely South Asian is still completely generic) I couldn't find anything to fix on. It was my first time in Brussels and I really loved that store, but now my whole trip was tainted by that memory. How often does that man come in to molest tourist girls in the narrow English section? Is it likely it'll happen to me in another store? (I have been asked for my IM, my phone number, and if I had a boyfriend or wanted to go out, in other comic stores, but nothing this invasive or blatant.)
And most importantly, why didn't I do something about it?
One excuse is I was in another country and didn't know the language, which is BS as I knew perfectly well how to say "Ne me touche pas!" Sometimes in similar situations I've been able to yell "back off!" or otherwise defend myself, but very often I find I just...can't. I'm too shocked, or clueless, or afraid, or even bizarrely ashamed to tell people to stop perving on me. I do feel I'm not the only one, so I was wondering...how do I handle this? I don't want to be paranoid, but I also NEVER again want to let anyone cop THREE feels of me before I even twig to what's going on!
So back in September I was in Brüsel, the coolest comic book store in Brussels, and one of my favourite places ever, and this guy brushes behind me. I say "sorry" with an awkward smile, assuming that he didn't mean to bump me in a narrow space, and he grins back.
It happens again: bump, brush, "sorry". But it feels weirder, this time, and I fail to smile.
The third time I feel...something far more definite, and realise he's been dragging his crotch across my rump. I stare openmouthed at him and he gives me the same fucking grin that I now understand means "b****, I have had your ass in a million different ways in my MIND."
I RUN upstairs, and would you believe it, after a minute or so he FOLLOWS me. I run back downstairs preparing to beg help from the lady at the till, but before I can do it he leaves.
I tried to give them a description of the guy but he was so generic (looking vaguely South Asian is still completely generic) I couldn't find anything to fix on. It was my first time in Brussels and I really loved that store, but now my whole trip was tainted by that memory. How often does that man come in to molest tourist girls in the narrow English section? Is it likely it'll happen to me in another store? (I have been asked for my IM, my phone number, and if I had a boyfriend or wanted to go out, in other comic stores, but nothing this invasive or blatant.)
And most importantly, why didn't I do something about it?
One excuse is I was in another country and didn't know the language, which is BS as I knew perfectly well how to say "Ne me touche pas!" Sometimes in similar situations I've been able to yell "back off!" or otherwise defend myself, but very often I find I just...can't. I'm too shocked, or clueless, or afraid, or even bizarrely ashamed to tell people to stop perving on me. I do feel I'm not the only one, so I was wondering...how do I handle this? I don't want to be paranoid, but I also NEVER again want to let anyone cop THREE feels of me before I even twig to what's going on!