It Is My Choice How To Behave: Or, Is It My Choice How To Behave
I'm in a "blah" mood right now, generally okay but sick, and I thought I'd say a few things about well, two things that effect me greatly.
Too many people don't understand Diabetes or CAH. I thought I would share, not to be lecture-y, but because everyone SHOULD know, at least, more about Diabetes.
I was a very premature baby. My mother had an emergency delivery because my umbilical cord had become wrapped around my neck in the womb and I was suffocating.
Because of it, I have a compound complicative autoimmune disorder that focuses on my endocrine system-- the system that controls things like hormones and other fun secretions.
Classic Congenital Adrenal Disorder: Not Really A Zebra
Because this relates pretty much to the above, just a rundown--
Specifically, CAH results in 3 disturbances:
Lack of Cortisol
Lack of Aldosterone
Too much Androgen
Cortisol (sress hormone)- which plays an important role in the bodies response to physical or mental injury by boosting blood sugar and blood pressure, thereby aiding recovery.
Aldosterone (salt-retaining hormone) - which governs the amount of salt lost in urine via the kidneys.
Androgen (male sex hormone) - which is intimately involved in growth and sexual development.
Hypersecretion of adrenal androgens causes hyper-masculinization. People with classic congenital adrenal hyperplasia may lack sufficient amounts of cortisol to mount a stress response, and they frequently succumb to minor illnesses. Those who survive to adulthood experience premature or late puberty. Severe acne is also a frequent problem. Adults with classic congenital adrenal hyperplasia may have pronounced hirsutism.
Type One Diabetes Melitus: Not Really An Addict
Having type One Diabetes means that I 1: don't produce enough insulin (the hormone that allows you to metabolize glucose, the fuel that lets your body run), and 2: that the insulin I do produce is, in part, rejected by my body.
Without regular insulin injections, I won't survive. I am living, quite literally, because of an artificial substance. I still get upset about this sometimes.
But all of this above? This is not the important thing.
No, I Am Not Intoxicated
If you ever wonder why I do not have a consistent personality, the above is why. I can't. My body and mind are fighting themselves. Sometimes, I am incredibly energetic-- this is because my body is metabolizing at an incredible rate. Sometimes I'm lethargic and sick-- this is because my body is not metabolizing at all.
If I seem deliriously happy or unable to sympathize/be sad when I ought to be, it's not because I don't, mentally, feel this way. It's because my body is on a self-induced emotional high.
If I snap at you, I'm sorry. I can't apologize enough. I work hard to have control, but sometimes I still don't. When my blood sugar is too high or too low by just a little bit, I quite literally have to force my emotions to comply. I can become morbid, snappish, angry, etc.
If I freak out on somebody, if I snap at somebody, if my reactions seem out of hand, this is because they ARE. I cannot help this-- I do not function, biologically, like a healthy person. I have PROBLEMS, but they are NOT in existence so that others may...childishly mock them, as they have.
I have a two Medic Alert necklaces that I wear AT ALL TIMES.
Do you know what one says?
"I AM NOT DRUNK! I am a diabetic and I may be hypoglycemic. If I am acting strangely, please keep me calm and give me something sweet to drink. Call a hospital immediately."
And that is all it really needs to.
Too many people don't understand Diabetes or CAH. I thought I would share, not to be lecture-y, but because everyone SHOULD know, at least, more about Diabetes.
I was a very premature baby. My mother had an emergency delivery because my umbilical cord had become wrapped around my neck in the womb and I was suffocating.
Because of it, I have a compound complicative autoimmune disorder that focuses on my endocrine system-- the system that controls things like hormones and other fun secretions.
Classic Congenital Adrenal Disorder: Not Really A Zebra
Because this relates pretty much to the above, just a rundown--
Specifically, CAH results in 3 disturbances:
Lack of Cortisol
Lack of Aldosterone
Too much Androgen
Cortisol (sress hormone)- which plays an important role in the bodies response to physical or mental injury by boosting blood sugar and blood pressure, thereby aiding recovery.
Aldosterone (salt-retaining hormone) - which governs the amount of salt lost in urine via the kidneys.
Androgen (male sex hormone) - which is intimately involved in growth and sexual development.
Hypersecretion of adrenal androgens causes hyper-masculinization. People with classic congenital adrenal hyperplasia may lack sufficient amounts of cortisol to mount a stress response, and they frequently succumb to minor illnesses. Those who survive to adulthood experience premature or late puberty. Severe acne is also a frequent problem. Adults with classic congenital adrenal hyperplasia may have pronounced hirsutism.
Type One Diabetes Melitus: Not Really An Addict
Having type One Diabetes means that I 1: don't produce enough insulin (the hormone that allows you to metabolize glucose, the fuel that lets your body run), and 2: that the insulin I do produce is, in part, rejected by my body.
Without regular insulin injections, I won't survive. I am living, quite literally, because of an artificial substance. I still get upset about this sometimes.
But all of this above? This is not the important thing.
No, I Am Not Intoxicated
If you ever wonder why I do not have a consistent personality, the above is why. I can't. My body and mind are fighting themselves. Sometimes, I am incredibly energetic-- this is because my body is metabolizing at an incredible rate. Sometimes I'm lethargic and sick-- this is because my body is not metabolizing at all.
If I seem deliriously happy or unable to sympathize/be sad when I ought to be, it's not because I don't, mentally, feel this way. It's because my body is on a self-induced emotional high.
If I snap at you, I'm sorry. I can't apologize enough. I work hard to have control, but sometimes I still don't. When my blood sugar is too high or too low by just a little bit, I quite literally have to force my emotions to comply. I can become morbid, snappish, angry, etc.
If I freak out on somebody, if I snap at somebody, if my reactions seem out of hand, this is because they ARE. I cannot help this-- I do not function, biologically, like a healthy person. I have PROBLEMS, but they are NOT in existence so that others may...childishly mock them, as they have.
I have a two Medic Alert necklaces that I wear AT ALL TIMES.
Do you know what one says?
"I AM NOT DRUNK! I am a diabetic and I may be hypoglycemic. If I am acting strangely, please keep me calm and give me something sweet to drink. Call a hospital immediately."
And that is all it really needs to.