Not so random shit lol
So yea where have I been finding myself the past 3 months? Well let me tell you. In the bottom of a bottle and broke. yeah thats right I fucked up again and started partying hardcore drained every bit of dollarage I had just to party. It was worth it tho. Met new people...great new people...special new people, and have a crew i run with again. Things with Scott and all of them have moreless deminished. But I think that's b/c I didnt want to be the 3rd wheel all the time. They've got their girls and well uh yeah IM SINGLE DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. It's starting to look like I'm the odd one out at my freaking moms place 2. I mean when Mandy and her sis come over all is well. But you have the Jen & Tommy, and the confusing triangle with Derek, Heather, and Andy. So yeah I have no clue as to whats up. Candy and I have started talking agian. I guess thats an ok thing. I decided the past is the past and I dont need drama. So we supposedly squashed shit. Someone keyed my fucking car and uh yeah that set me off. i've started hanging out with Seth again, but that could go either way...good or bad. To much shit around there I don't want to get back involved with. Old habits die hard right?? yeah they do just say yes...or at least nod your head lol.
Musically I'm back to my banging beats. Luvin the dnb, breaks, trance, hard house etc. I'm putting on an event in September titled GALAXY!!! It's going to be a great time. Renting out a hall and all that fun stuff. I just hope it all works out. Things with my band are coming along slowly. Just having some minor problems here and there.
Last few days I've been spending a lot of time at the ledges just thinking about shit. The basic shit like whats going on with life. Who's the one I want to be with, where is my career going to head with getting involved with GSP, how to get things rolling in general. See all I have ever wanted in life is a nice caring girl, and something going good with my music. I've got that music part down, but as I said b4 IM SINGLE DUH!!!!! lol. Everyone is trying to be there for me. Trying to give me their input, but I'm me right. Hardheaded. lol.
It's a big I DONT KNOW RIGHT NOW!!! Confusion, decisions, choices, all the fun shit.
So saturday night I was involved in a conflict to say the least. My ribs are still kind of sore. But it was worth it. I ran into Melissa the other day that was odd. She was trying to be cool but her dude was trying to act as if he wanted to beat my ass. I'm like uh oooook it's been over 4 years with her and I, and youve been with her for 3 years or so now so WTF!!!.....
I guess soon Scott and T.j. are moving. Thats gunna suck. The 2 main people I always go to when shit hits the fan are taking off. They've been there in times of od, fights, suicidal tendencies(yeah thats right Im putting it out there). I mean fuck Scott had to beat my ass to stop me from going further with the knife. Yes I've had problems. That was when coke was a best friend of mine. I'd like to think I can get past that, move on, and try to be happy. Why is there so much pressure for someone to find somebody special in their life to be happy? I guess I feel that right now.
I've been approached with something. Move to Wisconsin. Jen told me that I can't run from my problems that they will be there no matter what, and she is right. I feel that I need an out for a while tho. I'm hoping all goes well and I take off with Matt and someother people to RELAPSE in Chicago in july. I want to go so bad. To help out and put effort in a great event. Ok so I relized I have been random through this whole thing.
MY APOLOGIES
For having emo moments posted through this, and being so damn random....but however if you do not like that
KISS MY ASS, and have a nice day.
buh bye!!!!
Musically I'm back to my banging beats. Luvin the dnb, breaks, trance, hard house etc. I'm putting on an event in September titled GALAXY!!! It's going to be a great time. Renting out a hall and all that fun stuff. I just hope it all works out. Things with my band are coming along slowly. Just having some minor problems here and there.
Last few days I've been spending a lot of time at the ledges just thinking about shit. The basic shit like whats going on with life. Who's the one I want to be with, where is my career going to head with getting involved with GSP, how to get things rolling in general. See all I have ever wanted in life is a nice caring girl, and something going good with my music. I've got that music part down, but as I said b4 IM SINGLE DUH!!!!! lol. Everyone is trying to be there for me. Trying to give me their input, but I'm me right. Hardheaded. lol.
It's a big I DONT KNOW RIGHT NOW!!! Confusion, decisions, choices, all the fun shit.
So saturday night I was involved in a conflict to say the least. My ribs are still kind of sore. But it was worth it. I ran into Melissa the other day that was odd. She was trying to be cool but her dude was trying to act as if he wanted to beat my ass. I'm like uh oooook it's been over 4 years with her and I, and youve been with her for 3 years or so now so WTF!!!.....
I guess soon Scott and T.j. are moving. Thats gunna suck. The 2 main people I always go to when shit hits the fan are taking off. They've been there in times of od, fights, suicidal tendencies(yeah thats right Im putting it out there). I mean fuck Scott had to beat my ass to stop me from going further with the knife. Yes I've had problems. That was when coke was a best friend of mine. I'd like to think I can get past that, move on, and try to be happy. Why is there so much pressure for someone to find somebody special in their life to be happy? I guess I feel that right now.
I've been approached with something. Move to Wisconsin. Jen told me that I can't run from my problems that they will be there no matter what, and she is right. I feel that I need an out for a while tho. I'm hoping all goes well and I take off with Matt and someother people to RELAPSE in Chicago in july. I want to go so bad. To help out and put effort in a great event. Ok so I relized I have been random through this whole thing.
MY APOLOGIES
For having emo moments posted through this, and being so damn random....but however if you do not like that
KISS MY ASS, and have a nice day.
buh bye!!!!