am i making something worthwhile out of this place
so this one really shitty thing happened to me last week. i did nothing wrong but because of the stubbornness of one friend i know our friendship is over because there's no way she'll suck up her pride and apologize. what really bothers me is that she's pretty heartless when she wants to be and has no problem being mean to me. whereas i can't be mean. i've tried and i can't stoop to her level and be a cruel person with thick skin. ignoring her has been going as well as ignoring can go i guess especially considering we work together.
it's just a really shitty situation and i haven't had anything like this happen to me before. it feels very high school and i wish it didn't upset me as much as it does because, like i said, i truly did nothing wrong. she was drunk and misinterpreted an innocent situation. a situation which was silly in the first place and started with her fighting with another mutual friend of ours. ick. just makes me feel nauseous thinking about it all yet i can't stop myself from replaying it in my head over and over again.
just super duper grrrrr. oh well. this weekend should be a fun one. next weekend is aline's wedding. then the next is a visit to champaign to see the lanibelle and chaz. then the mars volta concert (my uncle was badass enough to get me and a friend tickets that he's giving me for free!) i think after that i'll quit my job because i want to visit south bend, maybe my brother in NC and hopefully boston/syracuse/nyc as well. plus i've saved up enough over the summer that even if my departure date does get pushed back til october i'll have plenty to last me til then and still leave some to be saved. plus it's getting unnecessarily stressful and i'm working way too many hours. free time here i come.
i miss a lot of my friends from 'cuse and i really miss the mandarins. love to all.
it's just a really shitty situation and i haven't had anything like this happen to me before. it feels very high school and i wish it didn't upset me as much as it does because, like i said, i truly did nothing wrong. she was drunk and misinterpreted an innocent situation. a situation which was silly in the first place and started with her fighting with another mutual friend of ours. ick. just makes me feel nauseous thinking about it all yet i can't stop myself from replaying it in my head over and over again.
just super duper grrrrr. oh well. this weekend should be a fun one. next weekend is aline's wedding. then the next is a visit to champaign to see the lanibelle and chaz. then the mars volta concert (my uncle was badass enough to get me and a friend tickets that he's giving me for free!) i think after that i'll quit my job because i want to visit south bend, maybe my brother in NC and hopefully boston/syracuse/nyc as well. plus i've saved up enough over the summer that even if my departure date does get pushed back til october i'll have plenty to last me til then and still leave some to be saved. plus it's getting unnecessarily stressful and i'm working way too many hours. free time here i come.
i miss a lot of my friends from 'cuse and i really miss the mandarins. love to all.