(no subject)
i don't know.
we all kind of want to be shoved in front of a truck these days.
i feel like i have all the time in the world to waste but i don't.
i don't.
i'm sleepy.
i think giving a shit for too many years spawned the perpetual inaction i just feel victim to right about now...
and have been feeling.
as Mingus and i were discussing,
we don't want to do shit with our lives.
there's nothing i really want to do at all.
my cross country coach got pissed at me this morning for not putting in the miles i need to get up to shape.
and i'm just like,
shit, i don't want this anymore.
i haven't wanted this for awhile.
senior year, by the way, which yeah i don't want to think about but it's gonna happen, couldn'tve come at a worse time, i.e., the zenith of my apathy. thinking about college is so obsolete...it feels like...hey, if i'm accepted at State then i'm going there, if not then CMU, and fuck everything else because my life plans, or lack of them, have no relevance to college. it's that simple enough for me right now, but who knows how i will feel in a few months. i actually, seriously, do not care much at all.
a long time ago someone decided to kick me down and i figured the floor was better than getting up.
this is a really boring entry.
i don't like it.
i hate 14 year olds boys.
i don't know how to get them away from me.
well, i do, but i just don't have it in me to care enough to be mean.
i want to fight someone.
i just want to beat the shit out of some random person.
i don't know why.
and i hate feeling like i give a shit about other endeavors,
when i really really shouldn't.
i'm tired and this is rambling too much,
my day wasn't actually too bad, i had an awesome time tubing and wasting my money on tons of food, and life is good.
except, of course, for everything i've discussed.
we all kind of want to be shoved in front of a truck these days.
i feel like i have all the time in the world to waste but i don't.
i don't.
i'm sleepy.
i think giving a shit for too many years spawned the perpetual inaction i just feel victim to right about now...
and have been feeling.
as Mingus and i were discussing,
we don't want to do shit with our lives.
there's nothing i really want to do at all.
my cross country coach got pissed at me this morning for not putting in the miles i need to get up to shape.
and i'm just like,
shit, i don't want this anymore.
i haven't wanted this for awhile.
senior year, by the way, which yeah i don't want to think about but it's gonna happen, couldn'tve come at a worse time, i.e., the zenith of my apathy. thinking about college is so obsolete...it feels like...hey, if i'm accepted at State then i'm going there, if not then CMU, and fuck everything else because my life plans, or lack of them, have no relevance to college. it's that simple enough for me right now, but who knows how i will feel in a few months. i actually, seriously, do not care much at all.
a long time ago someone decided to kick me down and i figured the floor was better than getting up.
this is a really boring entry.
i don't like it.
i hate 14 year olds boys.
i don't know how to get them away from me.
well, i do, but i just don't have it in me to care enough to be mean.
i want to fight someone.
i just want to beat the shit out of some random person.
i don't know why.
and i hate feeling like i give a shit about other endeavors,
when i really really shouldn't.
i'm tired and this is rambling too much,
my day wasn't actually too bad, i had an awesome time tubing and wasting my money on tons of food, and life is good.
except, of course, for everything i've discussed.