Playing catch-up.
1. First Name: Kerry
2. Age: 27 (soon to be 28!)
3. Location: Jersey Shore!
4. Occupation: Massage Therapist at a massage spa in Spring Lake. I love it. It's not my passion, but I do really enjoy my profession.
5. Partner:
Mike. We met in high school (my 2nd high school - Collier) when I was 17 (a Senior) and he was 15 (A Freshman). We were friends for a while...mostly in school and on the phone. We had the same class - Drama - and got a kick out of secretly making fun of everybody (I never mean to be hurtful...I'm just, I don't know...an ass, I guess...lol.) In November of 2001, we started dating and our relationship was weird and rocky at first. We never got along and he really only liked me as a friend. By January 2003, a little over a year of dating and hating each other, we fell in love. It was strange. I had always been in love with him, even when we were just friends, but the horrible first year we were together jolted me out of it. Why we stayed together that first year, I have no idea. Miracurously (sp?), we just...unexplainably...fell in real, true love with each other. I think maybe the first year was so terrible because we were both in an odd place in our lives and the transition from friends to dating was really, really hard. We are still together and I can honestly say I love him more and more every year.
6. Kids: None and never. I like kids. But, here are my Top 5 Reasons for Never Wanting to Procreate:
(a) Having kids has never been a major goal or passion for me. Many people have dreams of what they want their future to look like. They envision a career for themselves, the type of home they wish to have, a family, travels, etc. When I envisioned my future, I forgot to envision children, which is probably a sign that I should not have them...lol.
(b) I never, ever want to make decisions based on what is best for another human being. This is in part born from selfishness and part out of fear. The thing I have hated most in the world is getting up and going to a job I hate. I may have to take a job I hate to support a child. And I never, ever want to have to do that. I may have to put my other dreams on hold for a child. And this ties into (a) a bit. If having children was never a major goal or passion, why should I have one only to have to put my real goals and passions aside in order to take care of them?
(c) I have shitty, biologically and genetically based disorders that have been passed down from generation to generation, making each generation more and more miserable or crazy. I could never watch my child suffer, by chance I passed these shitty genes down to them.
(d) I am way too paranoid for a child. They would be living in a germ free bubble and never allowed to cross the street. I am way too neurotic. I get nervous if my dog is outside in the back yard for too long...
(e) Overpopulation. The world is crowded as it is. It is really not all that environmentally friendly to keep procreating. Besides, there are many kids in this country (and the world) who need parents to adopt them.
7. Brothers/Sisters: I have a half-brother, age 42 and a half-sister, age 41. They are from my father's first marriage. I do not call them "half," I always refer to them as simply my "brother" and my "sister." I grew up with them as such. I knew their mother my entire life. Although my brother never lived with me and my sister only lived with us when she was age 17-21, I saw them constantly. My brother stopped keeping in touch with me and my father when I was 12. He never had a relationship with my mother. When he had his first child, he got back in touch. I was 17. I hadn't seen him in 5 years. We still keep in touch, but are not very close at all. He barely talks to my Dad and is a total Mama's boy. I wish our relationship was better. My sister, on the other hand, I have always been very close with. She also has an amazing relationship with my mother. She always got along with our Dad, until recently. My neice and nephew (her children) are actually closer in age to me than I am with her. She is 13 years older than I am and I am only 9 and 11 years older than her kids. I love her kids. They are really cool. Elisa is a bit punk rock and quirky and Zac is a total hippie. He makes music.
8. Pets: One dog. He is very fly.
9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
1. I am struggling a bit with my sexuality. I know I love men. I know I am not gay. But, I am attracted to women. I do not really identify with bisexuality, and although I believe anybody can fall in love with anybody despite their sexual orientation, I don't know if I could ever maintain a romatic relationship with a woman. But I am attracted to them. I like the idea of having no clear cut sexual identity. I am not fond of labels or belonging to any kind of group, but still, it would be nice to have an idea.
2. I am having one hell of a spiritual crisis. I am not religious, although I have no problem with religion (I do, however, have a problem with people who use their religion as an excuse to be total dicks). I have always believed in God. I have never believed in the tradtional, Jewish/Christian God, but I always had a sense there was a Universal energy greater than us and within us. I always believed Jesus was devine, but I also believed the Buddha was as well, among many others I think were vibrating at a higher, more clear level than the rest of us. Lately, the past 2 years, I have felt nothing. NOTHING. It sucks.
3. I am trying to lose weight. I have no desire to be skinny. None. I think skinny is for pre-adolecent kids. I would like to be average/athletic. A size 6 would be perfect for me. I am terrified of losing my love handles, because they create the illusion that I have hips. If I got too skinny, I would lose that illusion because I am narrow as hell. I am just not comfortable at the weight I am now. Physically or emotionally. I don't want to blend in with mainstream beauty standards, fuck that, but I do have an idea of what I would like to look like, and I judge that by my OWN standards. My weight has been up and down since I was 10. The thinnest I have ever been was a size 4. The heaviest I have ever been was between ages 16-20. I shot up to 204 at one point. I am 5'3" with a small build. Some people can pull off 200lbs. I cannot. I can do 125-150 lbs. Any thinner and I look gross and any heavier and I look bloated. I also like the way I physically feel at that weight range. I have 25-50 pounds to lose
10) Where and for what did you go to school for?: I did OCC from 2003-2005, Liberal Arts. It was a community college. I tranferred to UArts in Philly for Screenwriting in 2006, but that school just wasn't my bag. In 2007, I transferred to Rider as an English major with a concentration in Cinema Studies. I love it there. I hate the commute ( 1 hour on 195...boooring. And scary because of trucks!) Hopefully, if I can pass Matth, I will graduate this December!
11) Parents? Oh man...well...
I adore my mother. She is my strength. She knows me very well and has been a Saint. My father is an alcoholic. I love him to death, but his life choices have been selfish and foolish...the root of alcoholism. He never drank at home...my mother forced him to stop doing that by the time I was 7. He went out to drink and she would pick him up. She hid his alcoholism until I was 10, when it got really bad. My Dad is awesome when he is sober. He is a mix of George Carlin, Kramer from Seinfeld and Walter Mattheau from Grumpy Old Men. He left my mother in 2004. It was awful. I help her out. She helps me out. Soon, I know it will be my role to help her completely. She is 64. I cannot let her drown. I am furious with my father. He is 73 and has a 48 year old girlfriend. I have never met her and I never will. It's complicated, but I love him. I see him twice a month.
12) Who are some of your closest friends? Jane - almost 16 years now. Afton - 12 years. Terra - 10 years. Rachel - 10 years. Lauren - 8 years.
I also have some kickass friends from past jobs, schools, and high school.
2. Age: 27 (soon to be 28!)
3. Location: Jersey Shore!
4. Occupation: Massage Therapist at a massage spa in Spring Lake. I love it. It's not my passion, but I do really enjoy my profession.
5. Partner:
Mike. We met in high school (my 2nd high school - Collier) when I was 17 (a Senior) and he was 15 (A Freshman). We were friends for a while...mostly in school and on the phone. We had the same class - Drama - and got a kick out of secretly making fun of everybody (I never mean to be hurtful...I'm just, I don't know...an ass, I guess...lol.) In November of 2001, we started dating and our relationship was weird and rocky at first. We never got along and he really only liked me as a friend. By January 2003, a little over a year of dating and hating each other, we fell in love. It was strange. I had always been in love with him, even when we were just friends, but the horrible first year we were together jolted me out of it. Why we stayed together that first year, I have no idea. Miracurously (sp?), we just...unexplainably...fell in real, true love with each other. I think maybe the first year was so terrible because we were both in an odd place in our lives and the transition from friends to dating was really, really hard. We are still together and I can honestly say I love him more and more every year.
6. Kids: None and never. I like kids. But, here are my Top 5 Reasons for Never Wanting to Procreate:
(a) Having kids has never been a major goal or passion for me. Many people have dreams of what they want their future to look like. They envision a career for themselves, the type of home they wish to have, a family, travels, etc. When I envisioned my future, I forgot to envision children, which is probably a sign that I should not have them...lol.
(b) I never, ever want to make decisions based on what is best for another human being. This is in part born from selfishness and part out of fear. The thing I have hated most in the world is getting up and going to a job I hate. I may have to take a job I hate to support a child. And I never, ever want to have to do that. I may have to put my other dreams on hold for a child. And this ties into (a) a bit. If having children was never a major goal or passion, why should I have one only to have to put my real goals and passions aside in order to take care of them?
(c) I have shitty, biologically and genetically based disorders that have been passed down from generation to generation, making each generation more and more miserable or crazy. I could never watch my child suffer, by chance I passed these shitty genes down to them.
(d) I am way too paranoid for a child. They would be living in a germ free bubble and never allowed to cross the street. I am way too neurotic. I get nervous if my dog is outside in the back yard for too long...
(e) Overpopulation. The world is crowded as it is. It is really not all that environmentally friendly to keep procreating. Besides, there are many kids in this country (and the world) who need parents to adopt them.
7. Brothers/Sisters: I have a half-brother, age 42 and a half-sister, age 41. They are from my father's first marriage. I do not call them "half," I always refer to them as simply my "brother" and my "sister." I grew up with them as such. I knew their mother my entire life. Although my brother never lived with me and my sister only lived with us when she was age 17-21, I saw them constantly. My brother stopped keeping in touch with me and my father when I was 12. He never had a relationship with my mother. When he had his first child, he got back in touch. I was 17. I hadn't seen him in 5 years. We still keep in touch, but are not very close at all. He barely talks to my Dad and is a total Mama's boy. I wish our relationship was better. My sister, on the other hand, I have always been very close with. She also has an amazing relationship with my mother. She always got along with our Dad, until recently. My neice and nephew (her children) are actually closer in age to me than I am with her. She is 13 years older than I am and I am only 9 and 11 years older than her kids. I love her kids. They are really cool. Elisa is a bit punk rock and quirky and Zac is a total hippie. He makes music.
8. Pets: One dog. He is very fly.
9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
1. I am struggling a bit with my sexuality. I know I love men. I know I am not gay. But, I am attracted to women. I do not really identify with bisexuality, and although I believe anybody can fall in love with anybody despite their sexual orientation, I don't know if I could ever maintain a romatic relationship with a woman. But I am attracted to them. I like the idea of having no clear cut sexual identity. I am not fond of labels or belonging to any kind of group, but still, it would be nice to have an idea.
2. I am having one hell of a spiritual crisis. I am not religious, although I have no problem with religion (I do, however, have a problem with people who use their religion as an excuse to be total dicks). I have always believed in God. I have never believed in the tradtional, Jewish/Christian God, but I always had a sense there was a Universal energy greater than us and within us. I always believed Jesus was devine, but I also believed the Buddha was as well, among many others I think were vibrating at a higher, more clear level than the rest of us. Lately, the past 2 years, I have felt nothing. NOTHING. It sucks.
3. I am trying to lose weight. I have no desire to be skinny. None. I think skinny is for pre-adolecent kids. I would like to be average/athletic. A size 6 would be perfect for me. I am terrified of losing my love handles, because they create the illusion that I have hips. If I got too skinny, I would lose that illusion because I am narrow as hell. I am just not comfortable at the weight I am now. Physically or emotionally. I don't want to blend in with mainstream beauty standards, fuck that, but I do have an idea of what I would like to look like, and I judge that by my OWN standards. My weight has been up and down since I was 10. The thinnest I have ever been was a size 4. The heaviest I have ever been was between ages 16-20. I shot up to 204 at one point. I am 5'3" with a small build. Some people can pull off 200lbs. I cannot. I can do 125-150 lbs. Any thinner and I look gross and any heavier and I look bloated. I also like the way I physically feel at that weight range. I have 25-50 pounds to lose
10) Where and for what did you go to school for?: I did OCC from 2003-2005, Liberal Arts. It was a community college. I tranferred to UArts in Philly for Screenwriting in 2006, but that school just wasn't my bag. In 2007, I transferred to Rider as an English major with a concentration in Cinema Studies. I love it there. I hate the commute ( 1 hour on 195...boooring. And scary because of trucks!) Hopefully, if I can pass Matth, I will graduate this December!
11) Parents? Oh man...well...
I adore my mother. She is my strength. She knows me very well and has been a Saint. My father is an alcoholic. I love him to death, but his life choices have been selfish and foolish...the root of alcoholism. He never drank at home...my mother forced him to stop doing that by the time I was 7. He went out to drink and she would pick him up. She hid his alcoholism until I was 10, when it got really bad. My Dad is awesome when he is sober. He is a mix of George Carlin, Kramer from Seinfeld and Walter Mattheau from Grumpy Old Men. He left my mother in 2004. It was awful. I help her out. She helps me out. Soon, I know it will be my role to help her completely. She is 64. I cannot let her drown. I am furious with my father. He is 73 and has a 48 year old girlfriend. I have never met her and I never will. It's complicated, but I love him. I see him twice a month.
12) Who are some of your closest friends? Jane - almost 16 years now. Afton - 12 years. Terra - 10 years. Rachel - 10 years. Lauren - 8 years.
I also have some kickass friends from past jobs, schools, and high school.