Personal and Political Boundaries
Aw man, I wish teenage boys didn't eat so damn much. I spend half of my free time either shopping for them, or preparing something to eat. It would be nice if I could starve them to death, but I've put in so much work already to quit now, and they complain a lot. Hence why their squeaky wheel gets the grease. Still no print book, although happily,
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She could say that this was how the books worked for her - end of story. Generally speaking I don`t think authors should interpret their stories. I remember back in high school when we had story interpretation. It always bugged me when the author was used as part of that interpretation. It ruins the free interpretation and it ruins the fantasies one can have. I don`t want an interpretation with two lines under it. I want to be able to let my own brain have fun with what I read.
Yes, and I liked that. Sometimes we do fall in love with men that aren`t perfect or even good for us. What do we do? Do we swallow the bad to get the good or do we throw the love away because the bad is too high a price to pay? I find that an incredibly interesting storyline - and a storyline with only one answer in most romances: one always ends up with the one one loves. It`s not so in real life. If I`d been with the first guy I loved, I probably would`t have been alive today because he was not good for me. He wasn`t a bad guy - only brought out the bad sides of me. So I would have LOVED storylines where Aurora and Sookie had sat down and said "enough is enough". Not being forced to let go because their guy died/chose someone else. I would have wanted the women to have made the choices.
Yes, I would have preferred for Sookie to stop seeing Bill - not because he raped her but because she found that he was not good for her.
I make my kids empty the dishwasher because I fucking hate that. Whoever decided to put dishwashers on the floor is not 6 feet tall.
Hah! He is horrified every time he peaks over my shoulder (he does that a lot - or he lies on my shoulder while I read) and sees some kind of sex scene in any book. What pisses him off extra is when the guy mentions his dick stiffening just by looking at the girl. He claims that romance/erotica guys are wearing too tight pants because they always have problems with their erections.
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She has a site for a reason though - and if people ask questions there, I don't think it's unreasonable to answer them as she saw it. It'd be different if she was going out and finding readers and telling them, but she's not.
But they did make choices. It's just that sometimes, there's enough love to say "You know, I love him but he can be a real shit" but not enough to actually leave. If the woman then gets just that little extra push to get it over the edge, then I don't see that as a problem. As for Martin, he just had to die - even if they were broken up by Aurora, she wouldn't have been safe at all. As long as Martin loved Aurora, she was in danger. Her breaking up with him wouldn't have changed it all.
She told him heaps of times to leave her alone, and he didn't. I think it would be a fundamental mistake for CH to take a character like Bill, Eric or Martin, who didn't respect boundaries *before* the relationship, and then change their outlook after a break-up.
Ha! I have the opposite issues. Whoever decided to make windows that open wide over the sink was not 5'5". They laugh at me all the time.
Lol - it's more horrifying for them to read it from first person - because these are ideas that never come out of their mouths. Like "he slid inside and I'd never felt anything so good" - men don't say that stuff, or think that way. :D
Actually, when I was going around misogynistic sites, I saw a guy say he had *30* erections a day looking at girls (and was raging that he was "shamed" for his sexuality, and how women are terrible for judging him for his raging boner despite the fact that it seemed to be his own feelings) so I think there might be one or two. But it's not normal behaviour by a long shot.
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I`d rather not know. I think her reply is maternalistic (can`t be paternalistic, can it?) so I would rather not know what went through her brain. I mean, it`s fine for her to explain things people haven`t noticed or point out things people should have seen but to tell us her values behind her writing - it`s just bound to go wrong. And it ruins the imagination when authors do that.
I just don´t see why he had to die? Why couldn`t she just have left him? Or at least left him and then he died. I wanted her to have the choice. To take it.
Yeah, but Eric could have left Sookie after she`d left him. After she`d made it perfectly clear she didn´t want him. Maybe she could`ve consciously used the CD on Sam--not forced because Sam would die. She could have had the option of sitting down and thinking about which guy she would like to save of the two, and chosen Sam. I feel that any choice was taken away from her when Eric came to her and asked her to be his mistress. I was fine with it until I saw CH`s comment. Now I wanted Sookie to have made the choice more "freely".
Hahaha. I always buy whatever is on the top shelves of the supermarket. I don`t even care what they sell on the bottom shelves.
I don`t know that men never think that way. My husband is always more annoyed with how male characters think during the sex scenes, than how female characters think. I probably should read more quality stuff ;-)
I did have a boyfriend once who would get a boner just from seeing me and would come in his pants from kissing (he would also come two or three times during sex). So yes, they are out there. I think what my husband hates is how that is a measure of the guy`s feelings. Why can`t he just be turned on - or have some other kind of reaction?
Of course, you have the same with women. Women in certain romances have real nipple problems and are constantly wet in their panties.
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I don't agree that she should have to keep silent when asked questions, when in truth, I've read the exact same thing you have, and it didn't upset me at all.
If he hadn't, then he would have had to die immediately after so that Aurora would be free of the bodyguards. Then there would be complaints that that was malicious and vindictive. Honestly, I don't see any way for this to be a win for CH. She did what she thought was right - and I agree with her that Martin was wrong for Aurora, but would never have left of his own accord. Would I want Martin to act out of character just so some arbitrary thing could happen to make a small subset happy? And then there'd be a whole heap of people who didn't like that either.
Look, how is in Sookie's character to wait 2 months for a relationship talk in DAG, but give Eric a week and then break up with him on the outlier that he may be leaving her for another woman? That would be pretty fucking stupid. Sookie has always done this - driven a relationship into the ground. She didn't leave Bill when he left for "Seattle", she didn't leave Quinn when he was gone and out of contact for weeks. Same with Eric. That's in her character. To want her to be different is to read someone else completely. As for the CD? If she had to sit down and think about it, she wouldn't have done it, I don't think. She would have let her conscience get in the road. After all, Sam *did* give her a serve for interfering in Bill's death by silver poisoning.
It's all very well to have all the choices in a book, but that's not realistic. CH sticks to realism, and sometimes when there is a character who behaves a certain way, they don't effectively change. Sookie didn't break up with anyone until she was sure they'd abandoned her, and Eric would never willingly give up trying to keep her exclusive, then it's just how it has to go. The final choice of when to say "Enough" was taken by Sookie in the end - for all three breakups. Why should Eric be any different?
Lol - I have to get tall things off the top shelf sometimes by trying to push them from the bottom and have them fall where I can reach. Or ask for help in my shame. :D
I mean straight men rarely think about getting penetrated and liking it.
Well that's something that should enrage your son when he's older - that men are their libido - that is the ending of their feelings. Libido turns into love. Otherwise, you got anger, the only other "legitimate" male emotion.
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Well, she should be considerate as to what would upset me ;-)
(but honestly, I just don`t understand how you can not be the least bit upset. Don`t you feel matronized?)
To be honest? I think most of CH`s characters fall for the wrong guys. Lily`s boyfriend wasn`t exactly perfect, to say the least. It`s only my heroine Harper who knows how to pick the right man :-D
No, she should have broken up with him for a different reason and she would have had a thousand to pick from. Like him leaving her to stew for 2 months.
And I don`t like this driving a relationship to the ground. It`s just not healthy.
Well, none of CH`s female characters really break up with anyone. As a person who`s broken up with plenty of people, I find that very strange.
I *can* bend down to the lower shelves. I just can`t be bothered to do so. I once had a nice clerk show me some weird Turkish tomato-relish I needed for a recipe. It was on the bottom shelf. I was about to get tomato ketchup instead but he was nice and picked it up for me before I embarrassed myself with my laziness.
Ah, I think straight men are curious as to what their girlfriends are thinking when they penetrate them ;-)
Right now I`m trying to make him understand that women have grown up in the same culture as men so if a woman says something utterly anti-feminist (he was shocked when he heard it) it only means she`s a representative of the same culture many men are. There are stupid and smart people in both genders.
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Thyra10
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Lol - you just forgot to drive up to the first order window. :D Nope - don't feel that way. I see it as there's a way to work out how to give your character the most chance at happiness, but there might need to be lessons along the way. And that lesson might not always be fun.
But so do women, ya? I've had guys that I look back and think "WTF were you thinking?" but it helps me understand what I *do* want. They're all a progression to my perfect choice of Mr. Minty. And lies! Lily picked best! :D
But Sookie doesn't automatically become healthy - that would make her a Mary Sue if she did. She was abandoned by her parents and shunned by her community. She had every reason to cling on for a long time.
Yes, but you (and I who has never actually been broken up *with*) are rare. Most women try to make it work into perpetuity. They have whole shows about how to make a job out of your marriage - Dr. Phil, Oprah - to the point of insanity.
Lol - that's pretty fucking lazy. You're hilarious. :D
Mr. Minty can't seem to grasp the concept of actually liking it.
Poor little guy - you spoiled him by thinking about things.
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Oh, darn it. Let me spam her website then ;-)
To me it`s either or. Either Sookie throws out Eric without having to do it or she stays with him. Right now, and knowing CH`s motivations, it`s all just a message. Sookie can not break up with anyone because of her past but let me do it for her because there`s no way she can stay with that guy. And yes, it pisses me off just writing this. I feel manipulated and I hate that.
I`m not for breaking up because he forgot to put down the toilet seat and squeezed the tooth paste from the wrong end but I`m a strong believer in being happy with whatever is good in your life and changing whatever is bad. If you can, that is. This is why I struggled so much with my health issues because I couldn`t change them. But it`s (almost) always possible to break up with someone.
Do you know how far down the bottom shelf is? I feel like a giraffe trying to drink water. If they wanted tall people to buy something they should put it up high. Low shelves are for kids.
Really? I don`t understand how you can not be curious. I mean, I would like to try and have a dick for a while, just to know how it feels.
He`s a philosopher and one who gets easily agitated (I wonder where he got that from ;-D) at that. He`ll come home from school, shocked to his core and tell me about something he read. We have LONG discussion and I love it :-D
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She likes it when you spam her. :P But ultimately, she did throw him out - Eric would have sooner or later, asked for something onerous from Sookie. He's already asked her to go to Mississippi, asked her to go on a roadtrip with Pam that had a potential beating, asked her to go to Victor's club which was dangerous. Sookie would have put her foot down (or died her way out) so it's better to have something that doesn't involve any beatings - that step too far that would have had Sookie draw a line in the sand. How is it not better for CH to push the end time up on her? Because man, I woulda left after the first one but Sookie needed something extreme. I would have come sooner or later, she just made it sooner.
But there's a clear theme that you don't change who you fundamentally are throughout the books. I'm inclined to believe that that's the right way of thinking - we can modify behaviour, but we can't change who we are.
Lol - while I feel like a monkey snatching the forbidden fruit that is couscous on the topmost shelf.
I think most women are curious, but not many men. We see a lot of porn from men's point of view, so it's not a foreign thing from our viewpoint.
That's good - and good on you for keeping that vibe going. :D
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*Iz spamming*
She didn`t have much choice. And she didn`t really throw him out because he went all by himself. What she did was refuse to go with him.
And I was (sort of) fine with CH doing this if it hadn`t been because she thought I was too stupid to realize that Eric had flaws.
I don`t agree. We change a lot through our lives. We all have different sides and some are enhanced and some are drowned.
I`ve just hired a person I`d studied with 25 years ago. We haven`t been in touch since then and I`m amazed with how she`s changed and vice versa. She`s been through a tough divorce and I`ve lived my HEA - it forms you. It really does.
You`re not supposed to eat couscous. Couscous is clearly for tall people ;-)
That might be but I have had several friends ask me what penetration feels like so there`s definitely some curiosity out there.
I`m trying to walk the fine line between not wanting him to grow up being a male chauvinist and brain washing him.
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*Now is smacking you.*
Most people who get thrown out don't give their lovers much of a choice. And I highly doubt that that's what CH was thinking. It seems she thought "Eric has flaws, they can see it, I'm moving the timeline up on this puppy before Sookie dies from it, and the readers will see why he had to go" and then being confronted with someone who *doesn't* see it, then what's she supposed to say? "Hey dumbarse, anyone could see this as inevitable. He would have killed her sooner or later and this way he doesn't. Suck it up."? Or "Eric and Sookie never would have lasted, and I had to get him gone. Eric had flaws too."
I don't think it is change if we are enhanced, drowned and have different sides brought to light. All that raw material was still there in the beginning. Change means something more.
Lol apparently so. I think it's just that short people like me are just bigger victims of brands buying the middle shelves to sell their crap to me.
That's a little different from expressing a desire to be penetrated yourself. :D
I think you get by fine if you teach discussion. Teaching them to challenge their own ideas about things is good.
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