Sookie the Shut in and her Clayton's Security

[peppermintyrose]

I realise every so often that I use Australian phrases no one else but Australians (and maybe Kiwis) understand. One of those phrases is to have a "Clayton's" something or other. That actually derives from a drink that was sold here - a non-alcoholic drink - with the tagline "The drink you have when you're not having a drink." For some reason

Comments

[anonymous]

Yay! I love it when you rip apart shitty fanfic ideas

[peppermintyrose]

:D

[anonymous]

Actually, I've read so much shitty fanfic that these days I don't just get bored reading those stories, I almost feel physically ill - like when you've binged on junk food and can't face the thought of anymore

[peppermintyrose]

I end up just skimming, and making little speculations with myself how she's going to fuck up and if she'll ever get paroled from prison. But then, I read horrifying offender accounts of crime for a job. My level of tolerance is not the ordinary one. :D

[anonymous]

I only ever skim read too - I doubt even the adoring reviewers read those stories very thoroughly. Still leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but I can't seem to resist. I can understand though that fanfiction's not so terrible compared to some of the other stuff you read.

Of course, it could be True Blood sneaking in there, with the idea that Sookie wanted to save Bill, and Eric was worried about her going.

Lol, yeah, 'cause Eric never does anything to protect Sookie if he thinks it will upset her. Well, except for when he MARRIED her, but that was no big deal...

Oh no, Eric would never want to spend the rest of his life sitting around being protected, and no one would expect him to. It's funny how Sookie's often in danger because Eric has so many enemies, but I have yet to read a fic where he is encouraged to stay locked up in his house surrounded by guards.

I don't think many people would pass the exams you'd set though... And I'd include myself in that.

[peppermintyrose]

It's a compulsion, to be sure. :D I love goggling at how bad it can get. :D

[anonymous]

Exactly - actually, I blame you entirely for that bad habit, which I've picked up from you :P

I hate it how Eric never means anything he says, if it's not nice. Sometimes it's taken to the point of ridiculousness - I once read that when Eric told Sookie her breath could knock down a horse, he actually thought that she smelt wonderful. I mean I get why people want to pretend he wasn't really threatening to torture her, but can Eric not even tell Sookie she smells bad now?

That would work out great for Sookie actually - Eric could be the sitting duck everyone targets, and Sookie can just get on with her life at last, since she's no longer the easiest to kill :D And in fact, Eric would have a lot fewer enemies if he just sat in his house all day. It's win-win :D

Yay, C's get degrees! I'll just give you a bad evaluation on the assumption you're not going to give me an A :P I hate filling those things out anyway. :D

[peppermintyrose]

I do quite love the bad fanfics - they bring perverse joy to my life. :D

[anonymous]

That's kind of the root of the problem - that so many stories are all about making it seem Sookie never does anything admirable, and she's the one who doesn't deserve Eric, rather than the other way round. And that *does* take away so much from the story.

Lol, I was reading that and just thinking that that would be the best story ever! I would so love to read that. Especially Eric having to dress up in sexy outfits to please Sookie. Can Sookie also stop Eric talking to Pam, because Pam's secretly obsessed with him and wants to rape him?

*mutter* I don't want to do your stupid course anyway *mutter*

[peppermintyrose]

It just undercuts most of the actual love story and tough stuff. It's unrecognisable from the books because Sookie is forced to grovel, and she'd never do that.

I've been wanting that one for a while - if for nothing else, then the idea of Eric bathing in the moonlight in his mankini and the dearth of male lingerie leading to Eric wearing something tacky as hell. Lol - yep - Pam is obsessed with him and wants to rape him. That would be hilarious. And suddenly Eric notices how *short* Pam is, and her boobs are flat and she was bad in bed. And he finds out that Felipe, his boss, only gave him the job because *he* wanted to fuck Eric, and he's possibly in cahoots with Appius to breed more vampires or something. That would be the most awesome story ever, in the history of the world. :D :D

Lol - you'll never be an alumni of PMR-PWNS-U. :D

[elbly]

Want me to work on this story for you? I've been needing something silly to get my teeth into.

[anonymous]

YES!!! Please do :D

[elbly]

Okee-doke. I've got to take my brain out of the serious stuff it's been trying to think of lately - so I shall start working on this :oD

Any preference what book you'd like it to start after?

[anonymous]

Hmmm, maybe DAG? That's the usual point selected for these sorts of stories. And if you come up with any particularly amusing ideas relating to the earlier books, you can just add a flash back :D

[elbly]

You will, I'm sure, be pleased to know that this has been running through my mind most of the day, and I has teh ideaz! Though I may have to re-read the books.

I will be starting it probably after dead in the family - possibly after dead reckoning.

[anonymous]

Yay I can't wait, it's so hard to find decent fanfic to read these days.

Yes I keep having to dip into the books while writing my fic. If only we could all have PMR's encyclopedic knowledge of all things SVM.