Undead Suckie

[peppermintyrose]

This was asked for by an anon. This is a thought experiment on what would happen if Sookie was a vampire. If you want to read a really good fic about what would happen to Sookie if she was a vampire - I have to mention the fine tale Love Me Dead by AllHailAugustus. Seriously -  I review it, and it's on the list of wunderfics. It's good, and it's

Comments

[anonymous]

Certainly I don’t think Eric would care too much if Sookie lost her telepathy, since that’s not why he’d be turning her. Not only that, Sookie would be valuable to him regardless of her telepathy, because of the way her mind works. Anyone would be happy to have her as their vampire child

[peppermintyrose]

I think though that that would give Sookie a moments pause - of would he really love me. And I suspect that using your mind the way Sookie does would be something that would get her into trouble. Look at with Claude - Pam thinks she's stupid to have him there, but it turned out well, because Sookie has protection. So I think the way her mind works would be something punished, until she stops thinking outside the box. It's often counter-intuitive to self preservation (I hear Abe Simpson saying "That's a paddlin'" here

[anonymous]

So you think that even after everything, Sookie still has lingering doubts about whether Eric wants her for more than just her telepathy? That's sad, but you could be right. Poor Sookie.

Lol, Eric's spontaneous combustion due to uncontrollable rage - hilarious mental picture.

Ugh, the thing that I hate most about Twilight - even more than all the whining - is when Edward makes a perfect omelette for Bella in the last book. It was really the last straw. It's not enough that he's unbelievably handsome, a genius, listens to classical music, is overly sensitive and romantic, and insanely rich - he can also cook a mean omelette, despite not having eaten in 100 years. I almost threw up all over the page. It's just as well she left out the sex, or it would have been like a bad SVM fanfic. I can just imagine the rhapsodising over Edward's disproportionate manhood, and how despite being a virgin (if I remember correctly), he has natural skills that would probably put Eric to shame. Oops, major rant just slipped out...

[peppermintyrose]

I think the problem is that she'll never really be able to distinguish it for sure until it becomes unavailable. Sookie is right to be cautious with Eric the manipulator - at the bottom of it all, he may not have totally pure intentions. Once you manipulate someone then they never totally trust you.

Lol - I giggled writing it - and it's totally doable. He has such a fiery temper. :D

I didn't make it past the meadow scene in the first book. It was so boring. I went and read some James Herbert to clean my brain, and felt a bit better. I do heartily agree with the Oatmeal's take on it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4uuGvmAxTI

And of course it would be like bad SVM fanfic. Now that I've read part of Twilight, I can see where the "winning" skills come from. And oh dude - that peen can be as long as Sookie's arm, and she's not even slightly scared that it might be like fisting herself. :D

[anonymous]

I'm not sure stabbing him would get a reaction. If you were Bella, he'd probably be willing to let you cut him to pieces while he recited love poetry to you.

What you'd want to do is threaten to kill yourself, *then* the fun would start.

[peppermintyrose]

Oh God. I am so oppositional to the Edward type. :D I don't even get sick very often, so I can't even die by accident. :D

[thyradane]

The real creepiness of Twilight is of course that entering someone`s bedroom while she`s asleep and watching that person every night is LOVE.

At least Eric enters Sookie`s bed and makes her notice he`s there :-P

[peppermintyrose]

I think we'd have more of a challenge if we wrote a post about what we *like* about the whole Twilight thing. :D

[elbly]

I like twilight cos it gets me drunk: http://www.comicsalliance.com/2010/03/17/twilight-drinking-game/