(women's restroom, a man in a Santa suit enters) Drunk woman: Hey, you're not a boy! Restroom attendant: You mean he's not a girl. Drunk woman: Yeah, you're not a girl! Drunk Santa: Ho ho ho, ladies! I just wanted to see what you wanted for Christmas! Drunk woman: Huh? Restroom attendant: I want money, haha! Drunk Santa: Then cross your labia, ladies, and merry Christmas! (he leaves) Drunk woman: Wait, what?
Male coworker #1: I don't care how much of a bitch she is, her tits are unbelievable. Male coworker #2: Shit, did you see that red thing she was wearing yesterday? I had to jerk off in the bathroom during lunch. Female coworker they're talking about: You guys are aware that I can hear you, right? Male coworker #1: In our own defense, we weren't aware of that.
If I had one wish it would be to go back to third grade when we used to go home and play nintendo all day. Life really sucks when you get older. Life was good when we didn't have have anything to worry about but playing nintendo. We didn't used to have to know what we wanted to do with our lives, all we had to know was how to get past the first level of mario.
Drunk woman: Hey, you're not a boy!
Restroom attendant: You mean he's not a girl.
Drunk woman: Yeah, you're not a girl!
Drunk Santa: Ho ho ho, ladies! I just wanted to see what you wanted for Christmas!
Drunk woman: Huh?
Restroom attendant: I want money, haha!
Drunk Santa: Then cross your labia, ladies, and merry Christmas!
(he leaves)
Drunk woman: Wait, what?
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Female cop: Hey, if my boobs don't getcha, my ass will.
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Male coworker #2: Shit, did you see that red thing she was wearing yesterday? I had to jerk off in the bathroom during lunch.
Female coworker they're talking about: You guys are aware that I can hear you, right?
Male coworker #1: In our own defense, we weren't aware of that.
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Less in Portugal. There, the computer has a vacant souvenir.
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