Ficlet: Not Dark Yet (But It's Getting There)

[pepper_field]

Title: Not Dark Yet (But It's Getting There)
Author: Pepper
Rating: PG
Featured Character(s): Sam, Jack
Pairing(s): Smidgeon of S/J
Summary: Now is not the time for either of them to break.
A/N: What am I doing? WHAT AM I DOING? Why am I writing this instead of finishing my remix? Stupid brain.

Got this from the prompt amnesty here: "Walls, dank alley,

Comments

[stargazercmc]

Well hello, little dark and gorgeous fic. This packs quite an emotional punch for a fic this size. Nice job.

[pepper_field]

*chuckles* Thank you. This may be in preparation for my apocafic. Or it may not - I haven't quite decided - but either way I have a mental universe in which this is set, which probably helped. :)

[abyssinia4077]

WOW
This may not be yoru remix, but this is preparation (part of?) your apocafic, right? Right?
And there will be more, right? GUH!

[abyssinia4077]

Um. Right. That wasn't an actual comment.

I love the gritty feel you've got going here - my skin was crawling right with Jack's at the nastiness and I could really feel the fear and urgency and panic all wrapped together and I loved him holding himself together and his need to take care of her.

You're really good at dumping people right into the middle of something and making it vividly real.

[pepper_field]

You're really good at dumping people right into the middle of something and making it vividly real.

It's a symptom of my inability to write exposition or plot, you know. I just like to write the fun bits. *g*

Okay, when I'm serious, I do feel that, a lot of the time, plot isn't particularly important to me - it's how the characters react, how they feel and what they experience, that I want to write. I would like to be better at leading up to that, to setting up a situation. I'm working on that.

And yes, I may be working on it by this being just part of a larger story. I certainly have an idea as to what happened. :)

Glad you liked! It seemed I needed to get this out of the way, 'cause now I've suddenly made a leap forwards with my remix. About time, too.

[abyssinia4077]

We should work together - I have this tendency to develop something and then get stuck in exposition and forget the actiony/fun bits (I've discovered I'm good at betaing action and horrible at writing it which is...odd)

I like there to be both plot and the other stuff - the reactions and the action and stuff - one without the other isn't as much fun (though I'll take character over plot anyday - plot without character is BORING)

It certainly *feels* like it should be a larger story. Yay remix no longer floundering! I still have to finish revising mine I keep...not doing it.

[majorsamfan]

Wow!

I could *so* picture it all and feel it all with them.

She hefts him easily...
The only thing that I had a hard time with was Sam *easily* hefting a muscular, 6'3" Jack O'Neill. She's stronger than she looks, and I understand he'd be better able to pull her up after him...but that "easily" stuck in my craw.

All in all well done. Looking forward to the full apocafic piece!

[pepper_field]

Okay, fair enough, easilyish. Maybe he'd been dieting severely. Or was carrying a bunch of helium balloons. *g*

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it (despite that ;)). It might not actually be part of my apocafic, 'cause I haven't got a proper plan in my head yet, but if not, I may write some more to explain this one.

[holdouttrout]

Ooooh. The detail here is so lovely. Yum. (And ick, but...well, it's pretty nifty.)

I love the image of the nail polish flecks on muddy and bleeding feet. It's a beautiful detail that gives us character and timeframe.

And bare feet--well, that's intriguing. As is this sentence: she doesn't deserve the grief-fuelled anger that he's trying to ignore. Later.

*is so curious*

[pepper_field]

:) I do like writing all that stuff, so I'm glad it works. The prompt conjured up such a vivid image in my head of Jack and Sam, weary and grimy and hiding in a dank alley, that I had to write it.

I have a story in my head as to the hows and whys of the feet and the grief, so I'll definitely write it sometime, even if it doesn't end up being part of the apocafic.

[katcorvi]

Wow! This is a great snippet of grimy, desperate apocafic. I really hope it grows into something longer. No plot really needed, just the visceral feel of mud between cold toes (how did they lose their shoes?) and freezing water and specs of nail polish on dirty feet.

I love that they went fleeing across roof tops and got away. I love that Sam is crying silently but soldiers on, and that Jack wants to comfort but knows that there is no time.

[pepper_field]

Thank you! Glad you liked. Appropriate icon you've used, 'cause that's exactly the atmosphere I was trying to catch. *loves grimy, desperate SG-1*

Sam does cry openly but silently, I've noticed. Well, she has big crying jags on occasion, and who shall blame her, but she's also prone to silent tears, in the midst of traumatic events on missions. She doesn't try to hide them, and it doesn't impede her when things need to be done. Quintessentially Sam.