Sir Guy's diary
Disclaimer, so no one calls the police: this is the fictional diary of Sir Guy of Gisborne from the Robin Hood BBC TV series. This season he basically has two settings: homicidal or suicidal, so please also consider this a trigger warning.
Disclaimer 2: Guy is an idiot.
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28th September, in this the year of our Lord 1194
York prison.
Dear Diary,
I have found my brother. He reminds me of Hood. No wonder they want to hang him.
So now all three of us are in York prison, thanks to Hood. "Get yourself arrested, Guy, find Archer in the dungeons, and then I'll bribe the guards and come and visit you. And then we'll escape!" I should have known not to listen to such a scatterpated plan! Not that I did: as it was Robin's idiotic idea, I suggested that he be the one to get himself arrested. So he threw a hard loaf at a guard - but the fool arrested me instead, thinking I had done it! I cannot win.
In fairness, Robin did break us out - briefly. If Archer hadn't insisted on taking the other prisoners along with us, and if Robin hadn't agreed, we might have made a clean escape. But we were caught. Archer tried to hold Robin hostage, but it failed - there were guards in the outer chamber, when he tried to make his escape. Isabella's lieutenant is here to ask that Robin and I be handed over alive, so she might have the pleasure of killing us. The Sheriff of York was not interested in bargaining, though, so now we are all set to hang.
Archer says that he was doing very well in his own escape plans - namely seducing the Sheriff's wife - and that our interference was unnecessary. Robin jokes that I should be used to prison by now. Archer is demanding to know what I am writing; Robin is telling him to let me be. Now they are squabbling, and soon - ah, yes, now they are brawling.
If this is what it is like to have younger brothers, I count myself fortunate to have missed out on the experience until now. I had better go and bash their silly heads together before they bring the guards down on us.
I will admit that it is hard to feel despondent when imprisoned with these two.
Disclaimer 2: Guy is an idiot.
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28th September, in this the year of our Lord 1194
York prison.
Dear Diary,
I have found my brother. He reminds me of Hood. No wonder they want to hang him.
So now all three of us are in York prison, thanks to Hood. "Get yourself arrested, Guy, find Archer in the dungeons, and then I'll bribe the guards and come and visit you. And then we'll escape!" I should have known not to listen to such a scatterpated plan! Not that I did: as it was Robin's idiotic idea, I suggested that he be the one to get himself arrested. So he threw a hard loaf at a guard - but the fool arrested me instead, thinking I had done it! I cannot win.
In fairness, Robin did break us out - briefly. If Archer hadn't insisted on taking the other prisoners along with us, and if Robin hadn't agreed, we might have made a clean escape. But we were caught. Archer tried to hold Robin hostage, but it failed - there were guards in the outer chamber, when he tried to make his escape. Isabella's lieutenant is here to ask that Robin and I be handed over alive, so she might have the pleasure of killing us. The Sheriff of York was not interested in bargaining, though, so now we are all set to hang.
Archer says that he was doing very well in his own escape plans - namely seducing the Sheriff's wife - and that our interference was unnecessary. Robin jokes that I should be used to prison by now. Archer is demanding to know what I am writing; Robin is telling him to let me be. Now they are squabbling, and soon - ah, yes, now they are brawling.
If this is what it is like to have younger brothers, I count myself fortunate to have missed out on the experience until now. I had better go and bash their silly heads together before they bring the guards down on us.
I will admit that it is hard to feel despondent when imprisoned with these two.