Jello-Land.
I woke up this morning and felt like I was sunken into the bed. The first thing I remember feeling as I came into conciousness was the fact that my arms felt as if they weighed a thousand pounds. That's never a good sign.
I got up to pee, and the floor felt like jello. My legs kept sinking into it. I hate it when that happens.
I laid back down in bed and stared at nothing for a few minutes, feeling weightless and heavy at the same time. At this point I determined two things:
1)There is no way I can get out of bed, stand up long enough to get ready, drive myself to Richmond, park the car and walk halfway across campus and up two hills, walk up stairs, and then do my geology lab for 2 hours.
2)I wish I had eaten some meat last night.
See, I've made this discovery that pregnancy is very hard on your body and possibly indirectly hard on your sanity. I finally made the connection that if I eat only sugar, or only sugar and carbs one day, then the next day I will feel like death. So weak that I can't function until I pump myself full of beef and get a good night's sleep. I hate those days when I wake up and am already counting the hours until it's bedtime and I can go to sleep and restart my body the next day. I always hope I'll wake up feeling good. Sometimes I do, but more often than not I don't. If it's not one thing it's another.
I hate how no one understands the way pregnancy puts a toll on the body, and the mind too for that matter. It's an emotional thing that is hard to deal with no matter if you actually have a baby or just get pregnant...your mind will never function the same again.
Tyler is annoyed that I'm not going to our lab with him. He tells me to just get up and get dressed and I'll feel better when we go to lunch after the lab. I only wish it were that easy. If I could just get up and get dressed and still function then I would happily do it. Trust me.
It's not that easy though. If I do get up and manage to get ready I'll still have to eat some protein before I will be able to make it to class. There isn't that much time, I don't feel instantly recovered after I eat it. By the time I eat and feel a little better the class will be over. If I go to class anyway, despite feeling dizzy I might pass out and fall and hurt the baby, or who knows what else. Incase you are not aware, growing another human being is very energy-consuming. My body takes the nutrients and sends them to her first, and I get what is left over. If there is nothing left over, then I get nothing.
People associate me saying I don't feel right and wanting to lay down with being lazy. This is not the same thing as waking up for class and feeling a little tired or hung over so not going. It's just not. If any of you all felt the way I did on a daily basis you would probably drop out of school. At least I'm taking the effort to still take classes, I could just say it's too hard and I can't do it. But I don't like giving up that easily.
It's just that some days I really physically can't do it. I just can't, and I cannot help it. Simple as that. Fall semester I tried to do everything, be everywhere, and carry on my normal life. I couldn't stop bleeding. As soon as I quit trying to continue on living like I wasn't pregnant and took it easy the bleeding stopped. I don't want that to happen again. I wish people would be more understanding.
This is my first priority now:
Not school.
I got up to pee, and the floor felt like jello. My legs kept sinking into it. I hate it when that happens.
I laid back down in bed and stared at nothing for a few minutes, feeling weightless and heavy at the same time. At this point I determined two things:
1)There is no way I can get out of bed, stand up long enough to get ready, drive myself to Richmond, park the car and walk halfway across campus and up two hills, walk up stairs, and then do my geology lab for 2 hours.
2)I wish I had eaten some meat last night.
See, I've made this discovery that pregnancy is very hard on your body and possibly indirectly hard on your sanity. I finally made the connection that if I eat only sugar, or only sugar and carbs one day, then the next day I will feel like death. So weak that I can't function until I pump myself full of beef and get a good night's sleep. I hate those days when I wake up and am already counting the hours until it's bedtime and I can go to sleep and restart my body the next day. I always hope I'll wake up feeling good. Sometimes I do, but more often than not I don't. If it's not one thing it's another.
I hate how no one understands the way pregnancy puts a toll on the body, and the mind too for that matter. It's an emotional thing that is hard to deal with no matter if you actually have a baby or just get pregnant...your mind will never function the same again.
Tyler is annoyed that I'm not going to our lab with him. He tells me to just get up and get dressed and I'll feel better when we go to lunch after the lab. I only wish it were that easy. If I could just get up and get dressed and still function then I would happily do it. Trust me.
It's not that easy though. If I do get up and manage to get ready I'll still have to eat some protein before I will be able to make it to class. There isn't that much time, I don't feel instantly recovered after I eat it. By the time I eat and feel a little better the class will be over. If I go to class anyway, despite feeling dizzy I might pass out and fall and hurt the baby, or who knows what else. Incase you are not aware, growing another human being is very energy-consuming. My body takes the nutrients and sends them to her first, and I get what is left over. If there is nothing left over, then I get nothing.
People associate me saying I don't feel right and wanting to lay down with being lazy. This is not the same thing as waking up for class and feeling a little tired or hung over so not going. It's just not. If any of you all felt the way I did on a daily basis you would probably drop out of school. At least I'm taking the effort to still take classes, I could just say it's too hard and I can't do it. But I don't like giving up that easily.
It's just that some days I really physically can't do it. I just can't, and I cannot help it. Simple as that. Fall semester I tried to do everything, be everywhere, and carry on my normal life. I couldn't stop bleeding. As soon as I quit trying to continue on living like I wasn't pregnant and took it easy the bleeding stopped. I don't want that to happen again. I wish people would be more understanding.
This is my first priority now:
Not school.