The only time i post on live journal is to complain
Afte i posted my last entry my day just got worse, probobly the worst day since the first day of finals sophomore year, which ironically was the first day i talked to jackie. They say Things are darkest before dawn, and thats what i thought, after the day from hell came to an end i felt accoplished, i made it through a particularly shitty day. Yet life tends to trick me, only days after that i thought my girl problems came to an end after sharing my feelings with a girl named megan, basically we made out at the end of a party and planed to get together again. I was on cloud nine, i made it through a dark and lonly time, only to be blown off 3 times (not in the good way) she gave excuses everytime i suggested a get together, fuck her she has herpes. Working two jobs have now made me ill, ive developed a constant cough, insomnia, depression, and i have lost any interest in my health. And now im thinking the only one whos going to read this is heather cohen, bless her heart that she cares enough to offer sympathy. Unfortunatly i need much more than that, which she does not have to offer, at least not to me. The whole reason i decided to post was because i found a girl i actually like, and i have a huge crush on her,i realized this after spending the day with her and her friends. I got home and laid down to go to sleep and i felt a little sad, i missed her. I havent felt that in a long time... and i am scared to death im going to screw this up, almost to tears. i lay in bed for 3 hours thinking about her, about jackie, and all that shit comes out, the tourcher ofknowing shes happy with her boyfriend and i am misserable and alone... she took a lot from me... and i just dont know how to end this awful chapter of my life. The only thing i can think of is to tell this girl how i feel and hope the signs she's given me point to shared feelings. its almost 5 am, once the sun begins to rise i am going to go for a walk and think, rather than smoke and drink my problems away, because i think that just makes things worse...