I don't believe in Mr. RIGHT
So many on Fridae have written about their Mr. RIGHT, this special someone whom they would recognise the moment he crosses their path. No doubt they also stress the need to work on the relationship, compromises and perseverance all thrown in. If he is so 'RIGHT', why with all the hard work do we still hear of so many failed relationships? The very concept of Mr. RIGHT speaks of exclusivity. Herein lies the possible answer. The exclusivity focuses all the attention on the two people and inevitably places great demands on expectations of each other. We don't deal with these expectations well because individualism is too ingrained in us.
In many cultures, couplehood is lived out in the context of the wider community, most often the extended family. The roles and responsibilities encompass those in relation to others, not just that towards your partner. That changes the dynamics greatly. The point is couplehood does not work very well if it is about two people living in their little love nest, just you and I. It is this 'You & I' that suffocates many relationships to their early death.
So how shall we attempt to move up the evolutionary ladder as a community? Stop searching for that Mr. RIGHT. Learn to enjoy the companionship of friends in a group, caring for one another. Expectations are kept low because the exclusivity factor is absent. You would soon find that companionship is what you are truly after, and the concept of Mr. RIGHT fades into irrelevance.
For those already in relationships, get out of your little love nest. Involve your partner in your social circle so that he has a role in those settings and you in his. Live out your couplehood in front of others and with others. Find areas of common responsibility outside of yourselves. Responsibilities take the focus away from self which is often the stumbling block.
In many cultures, couplehood is lived out in the context of the wider community, most often the extended family. The roles and responsibilities encompass those in relation to others, not just that towards your partner. That changes the dynamics greatly. The point is couplehood does not work very well if it is about two people living in their little love nest, just you and I. It is this 'You & I' that suffocates many relationships to their early death.
So how shall we attempt to move up the evolutionary ladder as a community? Stop searching for that Mr. RIGHT. Learn to enjoy the companionship of friends in a group, caring for one another. Expectations are kept low because the exclusivity factor is absent. You would soon find that companionship is what you are truly after, and the concept of Mr. RIGHT fades into irrelevance.
For those already in relationships, get out of your little love nest. Involve your partner in your social circle so that he has a role in those settings and you in his. Live out your couplehood in front of others and with others. Find areas of common responsibility outside of yourselves. Responsibilities take the focus away from self which is often the stumbling block.