Lessons from Foreign Matters
In the article 'Why America bothers to listen to Singapore' ST May 8, the senior correspondent describes Singapore as having enough common interests and values to be a friend of the US but different enough to have a perspective that adds value.
I think that also applies to friendship between 2 people. Having common interests and values is a pre-requisite to any friendship. There must be sufficient alignment in the way we communicate, the way we think. Common experiences help. Singaporeans are notoriously guilty of being afraid to disagree. So say the foreigners anyway. It appears if we are friends, we have to agree and see things much the same way. Otherwise, the uneasiness is too much to bear and loyalty might even be questioned. Often we value agreement (we must be on the same side) more than the value a different perspective might bring.
Perhaps that is the test of friendship. The trust that a friend always has our interest at heart allows us to consider his opposing point of view without feeling betrayed. Having said that we must not be slow to empathise. A good dose of TLC conditions us to be more open to other people's opinions.
I think that also applies to friendship between 2 people. Having common interests and values is a pre-requisite to any friendship. There must be sufficient alignment in the way we communicate, the way we think. Common experiences help. Singaporeans are notoriously guilty of being afraid to disagree. So say the foreigners anyway. It appears if we are friends, we have to agree and see things much the same way. Otherwise, the uneasiness is too much to bear and loyalty might even be questioned. Often we value agreement (we must be on the same side) more than the value a different perspective might bring.
Perhaps that is the test of friendship. The trust that a friend always has our interest at heart allows us to consider his opposing point of view without feeling betrayed. Having said that we must not be slow to empathise. A good dose of TLC conditions us to be more open to other people's opinions.