I'm fine. [Stock reply but honest enough as given here.] Just catching up on a few things I've let get away from me recently, like seeing how you're doing.
[ a tight-lipped pause at the 'I'm fine' because she does wonder but she does not know him well enough to question and she's a little trapped in her own head more than usual anyway ]
Me? I'm fine. [ and more firmly, as if this is going to make it any truer ] I'm fine.
[Of course she is. Hearing the determined note in her voice doesn't make him feel any more at ease with having left it this long, but he's not going to push her.]
You were up early the other morning. Saw your post about the sunrise.
[Just casual conversation. She's not sleeping right, yet.]
[ She's not thinking when she talks a lot of the time anymore, not to the network, and almost it feels a little like talking to herself, which is strange, but she is half awake and half asleep, which has to do with it surely. ]
Oh...well it's...a very nice sunrise.
If I...well if it wasn't for all of the things...too many--...I think it would be nice to see it on the ocean...here. But...
[ But she is not going to be making the reported walk through the woods and over the random expanse of lawn past the mountain to get to it. ]
Anyway, it's nice here too. I...it seemed like it would be worth mentioning something that is.
Nice, I mean.
[ A smooth cover, this is not but no one is surprised, not even Emma who is re-ordering all the cups in one of her cabinets. The clink is audible every time and perhaps jarring in how evenly spaced even the noise itself seems to be. ]
I go down to the beach most mornings. Usually once the sun's had time to warm things up a little, but I could make the trip earlier if you'd go with company. I'm sure it's nice.
[He holds it out like an olive branch, something to hold onto if everything else i sweeping her away.]
[ She thinks she means to say 'nice', or something like that, but then his question catches her mid-intention and she finds herself caught on a breath, tripping through her own silence as she shakes her head, no, no of course not, no but he can't see that and neither can he see how she lowers her head then, frustrated with herself, more than ever before. ]
Not...not as much. I think that... I think I would need to sleep more for them to be as, as bad.
[ She pauses, wanting to tell him the beach sounds lovely, wanting to spend some real time with someone else to rid herself of this inane ticking, wanting too much maybe, but in the end she just trails off into silence. ]
[Maybe he did ask that question too fast, or just mistimed his words without the intention to speak over her. He mentally reprimands himself for no giving her time, but it's a habit he's fallen out of and needs to work on again.]
You know, dreams reflect your day. Often the best way to change up your dreams, and get your sleep pattern back on track, is to do something just a little out of your usual routine. Give your mind something new to work with. Trip to the beach might do that.
[ Just as possible, Emma's pauses have been getting longer and more awkward, if that's even conceivable, and where an ordinary person may have had their answer and easily been onto the next, this lately is very much not the case for her, except when she is lying. And even then...well. ]
They don't refl-- My dreams are--
That... that may be true. Is....is the only way there...to...um...to walk?
[ Emma suddenly feels hyper-aware of how foolish she must sound, in general, when lately she knows people are having or have had their own problems, Chase included.
But maybe it's not impossible of her or too deluded for her to hope a morning watching the sun rise over the ocean with well-meaning company could do him a pinprick of good too. ]
Yes, yes. Of course. I know. It's....I just....you're right. Of course.
[ Deep breath, Emma. You used to be half-decent at getting through your sentences and sounding quirky instead of as crazy as maybe you really are---all repetitions and half-starts. That's what she's thinking and it hurts because she knows she's mostly done it to herself, though this place hasn't helped. She can't shovel all the blame onto circumstance however. Did that before, sort of, on a less frightening scale.
Her inhale is meant to be quiet but probably still picks up, a whispering thing between his own reiteration and answer to her question. She doesn't think about her answer this time, her mind blank because someone pities her or because she is just having a moment where everything gets distant and she has to remind herself she's not dreaming at that very moment. ]
Really? [ she tries to make her voice lighter ] There's...there's got to be what---one car here?
[ a poor attempt at a joke, maybe....maybe to divert a frown she cannot see but realizes she
( ... )
I know of two, and the girl who owns them likes me.
[There's a faint smile to his tone, enforced as it may be by the idea of trying to lighten things for her, too. He can't jump to the kind of assumptions she's worried about over the phone. House, maybe, would piece together her state from a few cut off sentences and shaky breaths. Chase won't make too many guesses until he's seen her. It's best just to focus on that.]
I've been looking for an excuse to take one out for a while, now. This could be it.
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Hel--... Hello?
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[He sounds pleased by this.]
Hi.
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Hi, yourself.
Um. How are--- [ a brief pause as she reminds herself to speak up a little... ] How are you?
[ she hasn't shut herself in enough to miss all the news of slugs and spaceships...just any gritty details, which probably no one else knows anyway ]
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Me? I'm fine. [ and more firmly, as if this is going to make it any truer ] I'm fine.
[ and a stilted pause ]
But, um, thank you.
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You were up early the other morning. Saw your post about the sunrise.
[Just casual conversation. She's not sleeping right, yet.]
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Oh...well it's...a very nice sunrise.
If I...well if it wasn't for all of the things...too many--...I think it would be nice to see it on the ocean...here. But...
[ But she is not going to be making the reported walk through the woods and over the random expanse of lawn past the mountain to get to it. ]
Anyway, it's nice here too. I...it seemed like it would be worth mentioning something that is.
Nice, I mean.
[ A smooth cover, this is not but no one is surprised, not even Emma who is re-ordering all the cups in one of her cabinets. The clink is audible every time and perhaps jarring in how evenly spaced even the noise itself seems to be. ]
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[He holds it out like an olive branch, something to hold onto if everything else i sweeping her away.]
Have you been having bad dreams?
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[ She thinks she means to say 'nice', or something like that, but then his question catches her mid-intention and she finds herself caught on a breath, tripping through her own silence as she shakes her head, no, no of course not, no but he can't see that and neither can he see how she lowers her head then, frustrated with herself, more than ever before. ]
Not...not as much. I think that... I think I would need to sleep more for them to be as, as bad.
[ She pauses, wanting to tell him the beach sounds lovely, wanting to spend some real time with someone else to rid herself of this inane ticking, wanting too much maybe, but in the end she just trails off into silence. ]
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You know, dreams reflect your day. Often the best way to change up your dreams, and get your sleep pattern back on track, is to do something just a little out of your usual routine. Give your mind something new to work with. Trip to the beach might do that.
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They don't refl-- My dreams are--
That... that may be true. Is....is the only way there...to...um...to walk?
[ Emma suddenly feels hyper-aware of how foolish she must sound, in general, when lately she knows people are having or have had their own problems, Chase included.
But maybe it's not impossible of her or too deluded for her to hope a morning watching the sun rise over the ocean with well-meaning company could do him a pinprick of good too. ]
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[Maybe his point is already made, but he reiterates softly, and frowns at her next question.]
No... I could probably borrow a car if you want to go up on the rocks. It's not long to walk, though.
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[ Deep breath, Emma. You used to be half-decent at getting through your sentences and sounding quirky instead of as crazy as maybe you really are---all repetitions and half-starts. That's what she's thinking and it hurts because she knows she's mostly done it to herself, though this place hasn't helped. She can't shovel all the blame onto circumstance however. Did that before, sort of, on a less frightening scale.
Her inhale is meant to be quiet but probably still picks up, a whispering thing between his own reiteration and answer to her question. She doesn't think about her answer this time, her mind blank because someone pities her or because she is just having a moment where everything gets distant and she has to remind herself she's not dreaming at that very moment. ]
Really? [ she tries to make her voice lighter ] There's...there's got to be what---one car here?
[ a poor attempt at a joke, maybe....maybe to divert a frown she cannot see but realizes she ( ... )
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[There's a faint smile to his tone, enforced as it may be by the idea of trying to lighten things for her, too. He can't jump to the kind of assumptions she's worried about over the phone. House, maybe, would piece together her state from a few cut off sentences and shaky breaths. Chase won't make too many guesses until he's seen her. It's best just to focus on that.]
I've been looking for an excuse to take one out for a while, now. This could be it.
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[ And here a pause, the shutting of a cupboard and silence... ]
I'm free...a lot of the time, so... Really it's whatever is best for...for you.
But I would like that.
[ She doesn't explicitly say thank you, but her tone is ten different threads that twine together to express as much. ]
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