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I'm not holding back so much anymore. I know who I am at the core, at least to a degree, but it isn't shared with the world externally enough. I often feel restrained or unwelcome to be my true self in my own life, my house, my situations, my society.. I feel held down and smaller of a person than I really am... but that's going to change. It's going to involve risk and difficulty but it's necessary. I'm going to open myself up more, whether or not it's being welcomed, and will also be more open to receiving everyone else's openness, and I hope it will inspire others to do the same. My eyes are open and I see everyone is so scared, so cautious with themselves, so safe in their shells. And this rubs off onto me. Not that there is anyone or anything specific to blame, I don't really know what to blame; I think it's more like a virus that spreads itself and infects everyone if ignored. This behavior is not productive and has got to change. I'm becoming conscious of the fact that I'm changing and growing so much so often, and realize I need to accept it, channel it, make the most out of it. I was not meant to be a weak soul and this I know.
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