deadjournal and now this.
Aparrently I have not written in this journal half as much as my deadjournal and since I just wrote in there I feel compelled to write in here. I have had my deadjournal now for about 10yrs (will be 10yrs in March) and have written quite a bit. Some years more more than othersm I always saw my journal as a release, and since I have no friends to talk to this helps with that problem as well.
I have found that my mind lately is constantly running and I need an outlet. I need a girl friend. I am by no means easy to be friends with-this much I know is true. I am just awkward-always have been always will be and this is in fact quite sad. I have maybe one friend that knows the real me, and even still he doesn't know all that much. Sad but true.
I have lost myself over and over again, so I don't really know who or what I am. Its depressing. I have no desires, no passions in life. Nothing that can keep me busy. I smoke probably 2 packs of cigarettes a day. Hard to tell because I roll them myself but never count. I drink like a fish when I can, and since I am unemployed my days consist of rolling cigarettes drinking coffe feeding kid, listening to cartoons and videogames cooking, and going to bed. Oh yes, and I eat too.
I love people that I shouldn't, I dream of people and places that will never be reality and I mourn for never attaining. It....
This post is becoming very depressing and my deadjournal was sad but... hopeful...
I have found that my mind lately is constantly running and I need an outlet. I need a girl friend. I am by no means easy to be friends with-this much I know is true. I am just awkward-always have been always will be and this is in fact quite sad. I have maybe one friend that knows the real me, and even still he doesn't know all that much. Sad but true.
I have lost myself over and over again, so I don't really know who or what I am. Its depressing. I have no desires, no passions in life. Nothing that can keep me busy. I smoke probably 2 packs of cigarettes a day. Hard to tell because I roll them myself but never count. I drink like a fish when I can, and since I am unemployed my days consist of rolling cigarettes drinking coffe feeding kid, listening to cartoons and videogames cooking, and going to bed. Oh yes, and I eat too.
I love people that I shouldn't, I dream of people and places that will never be reality and I mourn for never attaining. It....
This post is becoming very depressing and my deadjournal was sad but... hopeful...