The story that I am reading now. It is bad.
I mentioned that reading Naruto fanfic caused you to spend a lot of time on ff.net losing hope in hum--no, that's not it--teenage girls?
Why am I still reading this, jesus.
Okay, so -- Character A isn't just secretly in love with B, he's also under great stress. But not believably so, from the huge workload that A actually has -- no A is also suicidal. And no matter how many times his friends ask if he's okay, and offer to take him out, and otherwise repeatedly OFFER SUPPORT, he says no and goes back to his apartment to cry and hate himself in the shower.
Then, after he kisses B, in a coma, and causes B to wake up alive and healthy -- TRUE LOVE'S KISS -- A decides THIS is the reason he should sneak out of the hospital and try to jump off a cliff.
Also, B, upon waking, for some reason decides NOT to tell his Queen that he was having an out of body experience and watching everything while he was in coma, even though he is her best and most loyal soldier. Add to this, that for some reason the Queen has reacted to A being in B's hospital room the last time B had a seizure by deciding that A probably attacked B. At which point, she forbids A to go near comatose B. Somehow, the fact that after she announces B will certainly die in the morning, she finds A in the room with B MYSTERIOUSLY HEALED -- causes her to reaffirm her orders forbidding them to speak to each other.
Even after B is awake and healthy.
Nevermind that B is MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH more physically dangerous than A. So that it's like telling James Bond (Casino Royale) that he's not allowed to go speak to Dr. Katie Brown (SGA), because she's been acting weird and might stab him with her cactus.
Also, while some of this could be made up for if B successfully protected A from the Queen's wrath in the next scene -- where she's called them together to yell at them -- Doing so would require B EXPLAINING things and clearing up misunderstandings. So I am very certain that instead he's going to stand in the corner ineffectually and have internal monologues about how he wants things to be better for A, and A will sink further into depression and self-hatred while the Queen yells at him.
For no reason.
Oh yeah, and ALSO, new development, their fictional country hates gay people.
ileliberte: ...
ileliberte: suicidal reaction, forcible separation, homophobia, what's next, sudden mpreg that comes from kissing?
Direct quote: "I LOVE HIM! I FUCKING LOVE HIM AND WAS TERRIFIED OF LOSING HIM, HAPPY NOW! HAPPY THAT YOU'VE BARED A MANS SOUL TO THE WORLD BECAUSE I'M NOT!"
ileliberte: XD
ileliberte: are you reading for train wreck value or is it just one of those things that you can't put down even when you know it's horrible and awful?
pentapus: I keep waiting for something to happen. It's reached train wreck now, but it started as just a really cheesy cliche to talk about how other people care about B. Then I realized that she was not going to use Invisible Ghost B for anything; he was literally going to just watch things unfold without affecting them for the next 6 chapters.
[time passes]
OH MY GOD, DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR ADOPTED BROTHER/FATHER FIGURE WHO YOU LOVE AND WHO YOU KNOW IS SUICIDAL WHEN HE LOOKS MISERABLE, MUTTERS SELF-HATING THINGS, AND THEN TELLS YOU TO STOP POKING YOUR NOSE IN HIS BUSINESS. I AM GOING TO CREATE A UNIVERSE-HOPPING MACHINE SO I CAN GO OVER THERE AND STRANGLE YOU.
Meanwhile, B is stuck with the Queen for further questioning, while A has been allowed to run off by himself after his humiliating confession of love. B, who just stopped A from walking off a cliff before the Queen summoned them, understandably wants to get out looking for him.
Things he does not do:
1) Mention the suicide attempt that happened 20 minutes ago so that the Queen WHO IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR can send someone to LOOK FOR A.
2) Answer any of the questions the Queen is asking him, causing her to a) prolong the conversation... a LOT, b) get really pissed off, and c) CONFINE HIM TO HIS HOUSE UNDER GUARD. ...until he can have a psych eval to investigate his erratic behavior.
Which only seems erratic because she doesn't know 1) he was awake during his coma and 2) HE JUST WITNESSED A SUICIDE ATTEMPT. OH NO, IF ONLY WE COULD FIND A WAY TO GET HER THIS INFORMATION -- Wait.
I don't even have the energy to type out the new plot developments because they boring in addition to just stupid. It's more of the same -- B says "I like you! I'm interested in you! I care about you!" for the 2nd scene, 5th time total. A says, "No, I don't believe you, for the 5th time, whine, no one could, let me end my useless life of nurturing children and supporting orphans, whine."
Except now he's also tried to run away from the village, which even taking into account the previous emo depression drama, is still TOTALLY IMPLAUSIBLE. Because fleeing the village is... wait... TREASON since all warriors trained by the village know secret techniques. Basically, he's moved on to suicide by police.
Note, B = basically the best fighter in the village -- in skill, rank, and perceived authority.
Just as B has managed to subdue A, a retrieval hit team appears, usually responsible for killing deserters.
What SHOULD happen:
1) B says, "I've got this." They say, "Yes, Lord B."
2) B says, "I've got tihs." They say, "No, Lord B, he's left the village. That means he's become a traitor." B says, "Then forget you ever saw him." They hesitate but say, "Yes, Lord B."
3) 10 other variations on the above.
4) B says, "I've got this." They ignore the fact that he's their retired black ops general, still serving as a 'regular ops' general. and attack. B kicks the shit out of them.
5) B kicks the shit out of them.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS
B doesn't notice their approach at all. B pleads. They subdue him instantly by sticking a needle in his neck and sedate him.
Me: KILL ME.
I cannot even -- I just realized I have 3 more chapters to go and that the summary does not say "COMPLETE". At least it will be over then, and I can decide to never come back.
Why am I still reading this, jesus.
Okay, so -- Character A isn't just secretly in love with B, he's also under great stress. But not believably so, from the huge workload that A actually has -- no A is also suicidal. And no matter how many times his friends ask if he's okay, and offer to take him out, and otherwise repeatedly OFFER SUPPORT, he says no and goes back to his apartment to cry and hate himself in the shower.
Then, after he kisses B, in a coma, and causes B to wake up alive and healthy -- TRUE LOVE'S KISS -- A decides THIS is the reason he should sneak out of the hospital and try to jump off a cliff.
Also, B, upon waking, for some reason decides NOT to tell his Queen that he was having an out of body experience and watching everything while he was in coma, even though he is her best and most loyal soldier. Add to this, that for some reason the Queen has reacted to A being in B's hospital room the last time B had a seizure by deciding that A probably attacked B. At which point, she forbids A to go near comatose B. Somehow, the fact that after she announces B will certainly die in the morning, she finds A in the room with B MYSTERIOUSLY HEALED -- causes her to reaffirm her orders forbidding them to speak to each other.
Even after B is awake and healthy.
Nevermind that B is MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH more physically dangerous than A. So that it's like telling James Bond (Casino Royale) that he's not allowed to go speak to Dr. Katie Brown (SGA), because she's been acting weird and might stab him with her cactus.
Also, while some of this could be made up for if B successfully protected A from the Queen's wrath in the next scene -- where she's called them together to yell at them -- Doing so would require B EXPLAINING things and clearing up misunderstandings. So I am very certain that instead he's going to stand in the corner ineffectually and have internal monologues about how he wants things to be better for A, and A will sink further into depression and self-hatred while the Queen yells at him.
For no reason.
Oh yeah, and ALSO, new development, their fictional country hates gay people.
ileliberte: ...
ileliberte: suicidal reaction, forcible separation, homophobia, what's next, sudden mpreg that comes from kissing?
Direct quote: "I LOVE HIM! I FUCKING LOVE HIM AND WAS TERRIFIED OF LOSING HIM, HAPPY NOW! HAPPY THAT YOU'VE BARED A MANS SOUL TO THE WORLD BECAUSE I'M NOT!"
ileliberte: XD
ileliberte: are you reading for train wreck value or is it just one of those things that you can't put down even when you know it's horrible and awful?
pentapus: I keep waiting for something to happen. It's reached train wreck now, but it started as just a really cheesy cliche to talk about how other people care about B. Then I realized that she was not going to use Invisible Ghost B for anything; he was literally going to just watch things unfold without affecting them for the next 6 chapters.
[time passes]
OH MY GOD, DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR ADOPTED BROTHER/FATHER FIGURE WHO YOU LOVE AND WHO YOU KNOW IS SUICIDAL WHEN HE LOOKS MISERABLE, MUTTERS SELF-HATING THINGS, AND THEN TELLS YOU TO STOP POKING YOUR NOSE IN HIS BUSINESS. I AM GOING TO CREATE A UNIVERSE-HOPPING MACHINE SO I CAN GO OVER THERE AND STRANGLE YOU.
Meanwhile, B is stuck with the Queen for further questioning, while A has been allowed to run off by himself after his humiliating confession of love. B, who just stopped A from walking off a cliff before the Queen summoned them, understandably wants to get out looking for him.
Things he does not do:
1) Mention the suicide attempt that happened 20 minutes ago so that the Queen WHO IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR can send someone to LOOK FOR A.
2) Answer any of the questions the Queen is asking him, causing her to a) prolong the conversation... a LOT, b) get really pissed off, and c) CONFINE HIM TO HIS HOUSE UNDER GUARD. ...until he can have a psych eval to investigate his erratic behavior.
Which only seems erratic because she doesn't know 1) he was awake during his coma and 2) HE JUST WITNESSED A SUICIDE ATTEMPT. OH NO, IF ONLY WE COULD FIND A WAY TO GET HER THIS INFORMATION -- Wait.
I don't even have the energy to type out the new plot developments because they boring in addition to just stupid. It's more of the same -- B says "I like you! I'm interested in you! I care about you!" for the 2nd scene, 5th time total. A says, "No, I don't believe you, for the 5th time, whine, no one could, let me end my useless life of nurturing children and supporting orphans, whine."
Except now he's also tried to run away from the village, which even taking into account the previous emo depression drama, is still TOTALLY IMPLAUSIBLE. Because fleeing the village is... wait... TREASON since all warriors trained by the village know secret techniques. Basically, he's moved on to suicide by police.
Note, B = basically the best fighter in the village -- in skill, rank, and perceived authority.
Just as B has managed to subdue A, a retrieval hit team appears, usually responsible for killing deserters.
What SHOULD happen:
1) B says, "I've got this." They say, "Yes, Lord B."
2) B says, "I've got tihs." They say, "No, Lord B, he's left the village. That means he's become a traitor." B says, "Then forget you ever saw him." They hesitate but say, "Yes, Lord B."
3) 10 other variations on the above.
4) B says, "I've got this." They ignore the fact that he's their retired black ops general, still serving as a 'regular ops' general. and attack. B kicks the shit out of them.
5) B kicks the shit out of them.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS
B doesn't notice their approach at all. B pleads. They subdue him instantly by sticking a needle in his neck and sedate him.
Me: KILL ME.
I cannot even -- I just realized I have 3 more chapters to go and that the summary does not say "COMPLETE". At least it will be over then, and I can decide to never come back.