(no subject)
I've been on overdrive ever since I got back, and I am so excited at the prospect of catching up and slowing down somewhere along the weekend. I think I will be able to sleep in on Saturday, and let my body decide just when it wants to wake up. This will be the first time in almost two weeks. I've been too busy to actually feel more than temporary emotions -- the stress from school, happiness of moments with friends, excitement of a play, and exhaustion from everything else. Today I sort of gave myself some time to breathe. I'm starting to feel real feelings pouring out of my body and they are not happy. It started earlier. I don't know if it's because I'm already doing so poorly in school, or if it was from starting to clean my room, unpacking my remnants of my glorious winter break and washing away the scent of sleepless carefree nights as my clothes fell into the washer. Perhaps it's only the weather darkerning my spirits along with half the population, or maybe the empty feelings are being sent from my body, hating me for poisoning it everday. Maybe it's the financial stress that grows with every breathe. Being back isn't as bad as I had anticipated, at least so far. I've sure enjoyed being reunited with my loves, and I've found pieces of new excitement here and there. It's not the same as before though. At least I'm not the same. I long for a life of simplicity and peace, a world I once knew so well but never appreciated. I know that I will return sooner or later, but until then I am only living to make it until that day.