What to do?
Last night I didn't go out despite the confusing ladyfriend wanted me to. I knew she would be preoccupied with her other ladyfriends as usual, and I decided it would make me more happy to spend more time with myself than competing for attention. Today she sends me a message asking me to go see her perform at some hole in the wall bar... None of her other ladyfriends will care enough to go, and I could have her all to myself... Nights like these have left me with stomache-fulls of butterflies and lips left tingling after one million passionate kisses. However, nights like these also result in the anger and disappointment on the nights when I am only one in ten on the nights all of her other lovers are there... and despite her saying she likes me most I can barely steal a smile on the nights we are all together... Tonight I planned to be a hermit again, and grew more excited about that when I received 'Once' in the mail via Blockbuster Online. I planned to take a relaxing bubblebath before I watched it tonight... But now the lady is sending me her sweetest words, and I am indifferent. The answer is clear what I would rather do... But I have disappointing someone I truly care about, despite the fact that she has been disappointing me for weeks.. I always want to rise to the ocassion, and be the better person. So many times I have shown up for her when no one else did, thinking it would prove me more caring than all the rest... Perhaps it worked for the moment. Should I give her one more night? I am pretty much over this entire situation, but I do care about her, and I know I won't have many more nights to give her.