"through the broken earth, flowers come up pushing through the dirt"

[pens_puncture]

i think i have come into a new perspective of optimism about my current situation. lately my optimism has been having trouble deciding whether to stay or go and has therefore been fading in and out rather frequently. in all honesty i have been having some trouble with this the past few weeks, but i really dont want anyone to worry. im confident now that God put us through that for a reason and that Gwynnie knew what she was doing with God calling the shots. it may not ever go back to what it was. may be better who knows? i suppose there is something to be said about the strength of our relationship once this all washes over. i think it will be fine. i know that God is strengthening both of us through this, and even though it has been rather... difficult.. we'll say. i know that our friendship isnt going to falter because of this. hopefully it will get even stronger. so from now on. no more awkwardness and no more being sad. what we do now is grow stronger and closer, even if we dont know exactly what that means or how we will do it, but we will. i guarantee it. i also want to give a special thank you to ms emilia brown who forced me into figureing this whole thing out. i origionally had the approach of just trying to deal with it by myself, which may have been nice for some and annoying for others. but anyways she has really helped me out alot and i appreciate it. this is all going to work out ill make sure it does. but other then that my college decision is starting to weigh down as well. im a big fan of appalachian as well as nc state (those being the top 2) and carolina and willmington are up there as well. dont know what im doing. i told zach and sean id go to state with them which would be great! i cant imagine anyone i would rather spend four more years with. really. but i dont know if thats what im doing. you two are certainly making state more appealing though...

oooohhh yeah and i am enjoying no-shave november immensely... i enjoy being lazy about it. i may just never shave again