(no subject)
I am...cycling? I have no idea? Since I'm not actually bipolar?
But I'm going through parts of the day like "Yeah! Everything's okay! I'm gonna do everything I want! I'm gonna be successful!" and then at night I am crushingly depressed. I don't know. I am still sad about the breakup, but I feel like I'm not allowed to whine about it any more.
I really, really, really hate the class I'm taking. I hate the program I'm in. I don't want to teach anymore. My therapist keeps asking why I'm still doing this, and I just say "Because my mom wants me to, and if I drop out we've wasted all that money." But I can't keep this up. I just have to get through this semester, because if I drop the semester, I'm pretty sure Pell will want their $2000 back, and I threw it all at my student loans from Wright State. Although, it is a grant and not a loan? Maybe they wouldn't want it back? I don't know anything any more.
This past weekend was Festival of Books, and I have a DITL to post from Saturday. I'm 8 days in to a 10-days-in-a-row stretch at work, which is making me kind of rage-y. Saturday at the Fest was really good. Sunday my morning panel was canceled, so I wandered around and then got too people'd out, so I found a sunny corner in a quiet building and read for an hour before "meeting my friend." I kept popping lorazapam so I wouldn't be nervous at all, and then I just didn't care and it was a pretty good afternoon. I got Stephen Pastis's autograph for myself and my dad. My dad loves puns.
I'm annoyed I have to give up like 4 hours this week to my practicum for this stupid class!
But I'm going through parts of the day like "Yeah! Everything's okay! I'm gonna do everything I want! I'm gonna be successful!" and then at night I am crushingly depressed. I don't know. I am still sad about the breakup, but I feel like I'm not allowed to whine about it any more.
I really, really, really hate the class I'm taking. I hate the program I'm in. I don't want to teach anymore. My therapist keeps asking why I'm still doing this, and I just say "Because my mom wants me to, and if I drop out we've wasted all that money." But I can't keep this up. I just have to get through this semester, because if I drop the semester, I'm pretty sure Pell will want their $2000 back, and I threw it all at my student loans from Wright State. Although, it is a grant and not a loan? Maybe they wouldn't want it back? I don't know anything any more.
This past weekend was Festival of Books, and I have a DITL to post from Saturday. I'm 8 days in to a 10-days-in-a-row stretch at work, which is making me kind of rage-y. Saturday at the Fest was really good. Sunday my morning panel was canceled, so I wandered around and then got too people'd out, so I found a sunny corner in a quiet building and read for an hour before "meeting my friend." I kept popping lorazapam so I wouldn't be nervous at all, and then I just didn't care and it was a pretty good afternoon. I got Stephen Pastis's autograph for myself and my dad. My dad loves puns.
I'm annoyed I have to give up like 4 hours this week to my practicum for this stupid class!