Points of Light Chapter 1

[pennypaperbrain]

Title: Points of Light: Chapter 1 (follows on from Prologue)
Author: pennypaperbrain
Beta: Chloe and eldritchhorrors
Rating: R
Warnings: Risk-taking behaviour, mental health issues, suicidal ideation (just like canon, basically), plus childhood trauma. General references to kink but not the actual stuff. Also, there are funny bits. No, really.
Pairing: Sherlock/John. Still no

Comments

[eldritchhorrors]

Like I've said before, this is a lovely beginning! There are so many quotable lines that I can't site just one. The views inside their heads are fantastic, Sherlock's thought processes and brooding, John's rather hilarious inner monologue, they are dead on. And the hints at what's to come? I can't wait...

[pennypaperbrain]

Thanks. Working on what's to come today.

[mazaher]

I'm liking this a whole lot. Every part, but in ch. 1 I am struck for some reason by your insights about John.
“Spring is coming in spite of him.”
“John is alive. He can tell because it hurts.”
“...he just doesn’t fear being vulnerable, because he has already been dead.”
“John and Sherlock have shared a death. The question of whose seems to be blurred.”
“John stands for a long time beyond the police tape, adjusting to the calm of the present.”
In this version of ACD's characters, John has finally an equal place to Sherlock, but there are 130 years of catching up before he gets equal recognition, so thank you.

[pennypaperbrain]

I'm glad you like John's progress here. He deserves the attention.

[rotaryphones]

I'm quite enjoying this. It's all so plausible and true to the episode, and I found myself feeling disappointed in the scenes you chose not to elaborate on. You definitely grabbed my attention at John's reaction to the riding crop--I look forward to seeing where everything is headed.

[pennypaperbrain]

That's definitely a significant moment :)

[grassle]

Finally able to read it!
This is fantastic. I love the way each scene feels as if a spotlight has fallen on it, showing us the details.
The way you describe John being brought back to life not so much by the spring as by Sherlock sloughing off his old self is wonderful.

[pennypaperbrain]

Thanks. It's fun to wake John up. Going to keep tormenting him as well though.

[glitterary]

This is beautifully written--I'm really enjoying it! And the little hints about what's to come are deliciously promising.

[pennypaperbrain]

Thanks. There are indeed plenty of things to come...