Here I am, where I've been.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
Happy day! Now I'm twenty!
Oh my God. Now I'm twenty.
Who could have possibly guessed that I'd get to this point? I remember being in second grade and thinking sixth graders were impossibly old... Being a freshman in high school and thinking juniors were 17-going-on-ancient... Going to regional speech tournaments as a high school senior and finding it impossible to imagine myself as a sexy and mature college student traipsing across campus.
And now, it's another birthday, and weirdly, for once in my life, I already feel it. I am twenty. I am not a teenager. Maybe it has something to do with dating an older guy and trying to make up the difference, but I've honestly been convinced for the last few months or so that I'm already done with my teens. And I've grown up so much in the last six, ten months. Today doesn't feel like a birthday -- it just feels like any other day, perhaps a little heavy on the cake.
I feel good about things. Realistic about things. I feel the winds a-changing, and I feel my life taking on a new course. I'm growing up. I've changed so much in the past few years -- today's quick look back at my LiveJournal entries from 2002 proved that pretty solidly -- and I'm pretty proud of who I've become and am becoming. It's not all good -- I see myself taking small steps back, with the return of my razor-edged humor and my socially-oblivious nature -- but moreover, I'm taking some pretty massive steps forward, mentally, physically, socially, societally.
So happy birthday to me. Twenty. It feels good. It doesn't feel like much, but it feels like me. I'm getting it together, guys. Wow for me.
In any case, the roommates presented me with a coffee cake this evening as an early pseudo-birthday-cake, which I thought was sweet (and I thanked God wasn't chocolate). Rian's going to take me out for lunch this afternoon, which makes me smile, because it's Rian, and I'm rather fond of him. And I think I'll even slack on homework and make everyone watch "Amityville Horror" with me instead. A good day, even though it's supposed to rain for most of it. And, since I'm not throwing a bomb-ass party for my birthday this year (and most of you couldn't come even if I were), here's a little present from me to you -- the lyrics aren't terribly relevant at all, but Patrick Park can make me feel about as sweet as anyone in the world.
Something Pretty - Patrick Park
Good times. Everyone enjoy May Day -- deliver some flowers to your favorite (preferably pagan or Swedish) neighbor and take pleasure in being unemployed on International Worker's Day. Happy May!
Happy day! Now I'm twenty!
Oh my God. Now I'm twenty.
Who could have possibly guessed that I'd get to this point? I remember being in second grade and thinking sixth graders were impossibly old... Being a freshman in high school and thinking juniors were 17-going-on-ancient... Going to regional speech tournaments as a high school senior and finding it impossible to imagine myself as a sexy and mature college student traipsing across campus.
And now, it's another birthday, and weirdly, for once in my life, I already feel it. I am twenty. I am not a teenager. Maybe it has something to do with dating an older guy and trying to make up the difference, but I've honestly been convinced for the last few months or so that I'm already done with my teens. And I've grown up so much in the last six, ten months. Today doesn't feel like a birthday -- it just feels like any other day, perhaps a little heavy on the cake.
I feel good about things. Realistic about things. I feel the winds a-changing, and I feel my life taking on a new course. I'm growing up. I've changed so much in the past few years -- today's quick look back at my LiveJournal entries from 2002 proved that pretty solidly -- and I'm pretty proud of who I've become and am becoming. It's not all good -- I see myself taking small steps back, with the return of my razor-edged humor and my socially-oblivious nature -- but moreover, I'm taking some pretty massive steps forward, mentally, physically, socially, societally.
So happy birthday to me. Twenty. It feels good. It doesn't feel like much, but it feels like me. I'm getting it together, guys. Wow for me.
In any case, the roommates presented me with a coffee cake this evening as an early pseudo-birthday-cake, which I thought was sweet (and I thanked God wasn't chocolate). Rian's going to take me out for lunch this afternoon, which makes me smile, because it's Rian, and I'm rather fond of him. And I think I'll even slack on homework and make everyone watch "Amityville Horror" with me instead. A good day, even though it's supposed to rain for most of it. And, since I'm not throwing a bomb-ass party for my birthday this year (and most of you couldn't come even if I were), here's a little present from me to you -- the lyrics aren't terribly relevant at all, but Patrick Park can make me feel about as sweet as anyone in the world.
Something Pretty - Patrick Park
Good times. Everyone enjoy May Day -- deliver some flowers to your favorite (preferably pagan or Swedish) neighbor and take pleasure in being unemployed on International Worker's Day. Happy May!