(no subject)
hey so i'm getting my shit together. at least partly. mostly what i mean is getting back in shape. i'm really sick of feeling so shitty about myself all the time. like, i live in a house of boys and we'll be watching tv and then "wow that chick is mad hot" and i just feel 'well shit i don't look like that...'. not that walking everyday (or so :)) is going to make me look like that but at least i'll feel better about myself and won't feel the need for everyone elses opinions (imagined or real) to matter entirely. not only will i get rid of some flab that's accumulated but i'll also be doing something. i won't be quite such a bum which will also give me a boost. and i'll be able to do stuff like go on bike rides with mat and not be so embarassed by my thighs in a skirt. so i'm pretty excited about that. that will also get me off me ass to actually do random shit like laundry (i have two loads going now...sad cuz i need to do two seperate laods but hey, i'm proud). walking also clears my head of random shit that would pile up till i get to the point where i'll randomly feel like crying. i probably won't give up cigarettes or the occasional beer or eat my veggies but it's at least a start. so...uhh...yay!
i'm also getting really excited about france. i've been having really mixed feelings about it for a month or two and now i'm over that. i'm getting souped to be able to clear my mind and just to be in france :) i'll probably cry when i say goodbye to mat at the station but hey, i will miss him. and everyone. of course i will. but that's not going to be my only feeling the whole trip. and i think it'll be good to spend a little time not together 24/7. not that i don't like it but i think it'll be good. and it'll be that much better when i get home ;) hehe ahhh...
i'm also getting really excited about france. i've been having really mixed feelings about it for a month or two and now i'm over that. i'm getting souped to be able to clear my mind and just to be in france :) i'll probably cry when i say goodbye to mat at the station but hey, i will miss him. and everyone. of course i will. but that's not going to be my only feeling the whole trip. and i think it'll be good to spend a little time not together 24/7. not that i don't like it but i think it'll be good. and it'll be that much better when i get home ;) hehe ahhh...