'tis the season
it's halloween time. my favorite holiday of them all. better than jesus' birthday and death weekend combined.
but alas i'm abroad. i'll be leaving england just before the big day and i'm not into the H parties that i've been invited to this weekend. and i'll be heading back to germany where they don't really celebrate that kind of thing. it's upsetting.
but in the spirit of the holiday, i would like to talk about what makes or breaks a good haunted house.
over the years i've kept notes on all the haunted houses i've visited and what things scare me. NOTHING. they just try too damn hard.
the perfect scary scenarios are the ones in which you are completely alone with your fear. fear of the unknown. not fear of a clown mask and a chainsaw or a glowing alien in blacklight.
My ideas:
1. a giant empty wearhouse, completely pitch black, with the person put right in the middle. they'll have to find their way out in complete darkness. and complete silence. maybe just some wind noises. real wind though, not that prerecorded shit. but here's the catch. i would chain the doors shut. they'd be trapped. then i would have someone else just run around the room with them. or maybe a grizzly. they'd hear footsteps everywhere. oh, and they'd be naked.
i would seriously pay to be frightened like that. so would you. but actually i would ask for no payment to visit my haunted house. i would pay you. and keep you.
2.the person would be secretly drugged. they'd wake up in a strange place. kinda like that Hostel movie. but this time it wouldn't be some dirty non-scary torture chamber. it would be a coffin. buried. underground. they would literally die from fear. at that moment, we would open the coffin to reveal to them that they weren't actually buried afterall but just in a box in some blah hosptial room somewhere surrounded by their friends. but they wouldn't notice because they'd be dead. so we'd resuscitate them. and as they came to, we'd tell them it was all a bad dream and that they had just been drugged. that's all. no coffin. they had been drugged at a bar and taken into an alley and raped, as the story would go. and now they have a certain incurable sex disease. now that's fear!
actually the first one is better. and probably cheaper to run.
who's on board?
but alas i'm abroad. i'll be leaving england just before the big day and i'm not into the H parties that i've been invited to this weekend. and i'll be heading back to germany where they don't really celebrate that kind of thing. it's upsetting.
but in the spirit of the holiday, i would like to talk about what makes or breaks a good haunted house.
over the years i've kept notes on all the haunted houses i've visited and what things scare me. NOTHING. they just try too damn hard.
the perfect scary scenarios are the ones in which you are completely alone with your fear. fear of the unknown. not fear of a clown mask and a chainsaw or a glowing alien in blacklight.
My ideas:
1. a giant empty wearhouse, completely pitch black, with the person put right in the middle. they'll have to find their way out in complete darkness. and complete silence. maybe just some wind noises. real wind though, not that prerecorded shit. but here's the catch. i would chain the doors shut. they'd be trapped. then i would have someone else just run around the room with them. or maybe a grizzly. they'd hear footsteps everywhere. oh, and they'd be naked.
i would seriously pay to be frightened like that. so would you. but actually i would ask for no payment to visit my haunted house. i would pay you. and keep you.
2.the person would be secretly drugged. they'd wake up in a strange place. kinda like that Hostel movie. but this time it wouldn't be some dirty non-scary torture chamber. it would be a coffin. buried. underground. they would literally die from fear. at that moment, we would open the coffin to reveal to them that they weren't actually buried afterall but just in a box in some blah hosptial room somewhere surrounded by their friends. but they wouldn't notice because they'd be dead. so we'd resuscitate them. and as they came to, we'd tell them it was all a bad dream and that they had just been drugged. that's all. no coffin. they had been drugged at a bar and taken into an alley and raped, as the story would go. and now they have a certain incurable sex disease. now that's fear!
actually the first one is better. and probably cheaper to run.
who's on board?