Ewan Movies, 101 (2011 Edition)
It's been five years since I posted a Ewan Movie Guide! I was just talking miss catalm into trying out some of Ewan's...darker fare, and thought, you know what? I need to update that stupid guide! Haha. Here you go. This will obviously need to be updated again soon, since Ewan has like 50 movies coming out in the near future... :)
** = My personal recs
Ewan For Beginners
Not sure you've ever seen a Ewan film? Or perhaps you saw him in Star Wars, and you are curious about his other work? Start here. (All films listed in this category are PG or PG-13)
**Moulin Rouge! - Starters should probably go with Ewan's mainstream fair. MR is not for everyone, but it is probably his second-most mainstream film, after the Star Wars franchise. This happens to be not only my favorite Ewan movie, but my favorite movie ever. People either love it or hate it. I personally think it's all worth it for the "Your Song" scene.
**Big Fish - This film did really well, considering it was a little left of center, and yet not as quirky as most Tim Burton films. It is an absolutely gorgeous film, and very charming all around. Stellar, stellar supporting cast, and Ewan is great, even with his completely over-the-top southern accent.
Down With Love - It's a musical without the singing, (except at the end) and it co-stars Renee Zellweger, who some people seem to like... It is VERY stylized - like a candy-coated version of Mad Men. I adore Ewan in this film, and the blooper reel is awesome.
The Island - This film bombed at US box offices--which is odd, since it starred a smokin-hot Ewan-in-a-tracksuit, and Scarlett Johansson's boobs. For a Michael Bay film, it's not half-bad. There was even an attempt at a plot! Ewan looks fantastic in this one, and there is the added bonus of TWO Ewans. UNF.
Angels & Demons - The movie is not great, but Ewan looks really hot as a priest.
Intermediate Ewan
Ready to move forward? Feel like you can take on something a bit more complex? Below is a good list for those that are ready to see Ewan in something a bit more...Rated R.
**Shallow Grave - Ewan is truly at his best when he is playing the anti-hero. He does it well in this film, about flatmates who must deal with a dead body, and a suitcase full of money. It's dark, but funny, and Alex Law is one of my absolute favorite Ewan characters. And probably the most quoteable.
A Life Less Ordinary - This is the third of three films that Ewan did with director Danny Boyle, writer John Hodge, and producer Andrew MacDonald (The other two are Trainspotting and Shallow Grave). Co-starring Cameron Diaz and Holly Hunter, this may seem to some a film that should be in the beginners category. But it is quite quirky, and many people did not understand it. Ewan is hilarious in this one, and it too, remains one of my all-time faves.
**Little Voice - This one is much more low-key than the two listed above. It's very sweet, and a little odd, so may not appeal to everyone. Jane Horrocks is fantastic, and the cast also includes the brilliant Jim Broadbent (Moulin Rouge!, Bridget Jones) and the incomparable Michael Caine.
Stay - If you blinked, you missed this one when it was in theatres. It's a strange and winding plot, but despite its mixed reviews, I found this one to be really fascinating and beautiful. Ryan Gosling and Naomi Watts are also brilliant.
Cassandra's Dream - Ewan is absolutely gorgeous in this offbeat Woody Allen film that co-stars Colin Farrell. I really liked it, but I know a lot of people who absolutely hated it. I think that's the case with many of Woody's films though.
**The Ghost Writer - This movie is fantastic. Really gripping, very smart, and Ewan is just brilliant in it. A critic recently called this Ewan's 'comeback' into good films. (He's made a lot of crap in the last several years, sadly.)
**Beginners - Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. The writing, the acting, the cinematography, the music, EVERYTHING about this movie is beautiful. I LOVE IT.
Brassed Off - Ewan is adorable in this fantastic little film, about a group of out-of-work miners who start up a brass band. His role is a supporting one, but he supports very well.
Blue Juice - Another supporting role, but it's a fantastic one! It's a British surfing movie, if you can imagine that, and Ewan in a wetsuit is a sight to behold. This one also stars Catherine Zeta-Jones. Seriously.
INTERMISSION:
Before we go on with the films, we have to stop to pay homage to the best thing Ewan McGregor has ever put on film (besides his dick): Long Way Round.
**Long Way Round (LWR for short) is a documentary that Ewan shot with his good friend Charley Boorman, a fellow motorcycle enthusiast. Together, Ewan and Charley decide to ride their motorbikes from London to New York, the 'long way round' (via Europe, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Russia, Canada, etc.). You don't have to love motorcycles to love this - Ewan and Charley are so charming and funny, and their adventure is really interesting and at times, harrowing! A few years later, they did another trip, from John O'Groats (northern tip of Scotland) to South Africa (Long Way Down). It is also a great journey, though I found the doc slightly less charming than LWR. (It is worth it to watch Ewan stand under a poster of himself, inside the original Tattooine dwelling in Tunisia (from the first Star Wars films) and not get recognized by a single person.)
Hard-Core Ewan
So, you think you are ready to take on Ewan in all his glory? Are you ready to see him in the buff, slapping people around and injecting heroin? The films below are not for the faint of heart. You have been warned. (This section includes content warnings and 'Talent' spotting counters!)
**Trainspotting - It's one of Ewan's most brilliant performances, in one of the best films ever made. But it is graphic. Quite graphic, and very unforgiving. If you are a Ewan fan though, it is a Must See.
Contains nudity, violence, drug use, graphic scenes, swearing...and thick Scottish accents.
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: 1 scene
**Young Adam - This is on my favorites list for many reasons; I loved the book from which it is based, it's a gorgeously shot film, the cast is perfection, and in my opinion, this is one of Ewan's best performances. Many people were turned off by the slow pace and graphic sex in this film. It should be noted that Ewan's character is very dark, and the sex is gritty and unromantic.
Contains nudity, swearing, dark themes, graphic sex scenes, violence...and creative custard use.
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: 1 scene outright; several other scenes moderately.
**Velvet Goldmine - It's a Glam-Rock Musical!! If that doesn't intrigue you, you may as well forget it, because this film is full-on Glam at its finest. Co-starring Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Christian Bale, this film is all glitter and rock, and is, at times perhaps, a bit too arty for its own good. But it is FABULOUS, and Ewan is a rock GOD.
Contains nudity, swearing, drug-use, sex scenes, gay sex scenes, group sex scenes...and lots of glitter.
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: 2 scenes.
**I Love You Phillip Morris - Funny, romantic, silly, heartwarming. I really, really loved this movie. Co-starring Jim Carrey, who I can only honestly stand when he is doing something that does not involve him acting like a human boomerang, is absolutely brilliant in this, and Ewan is just awesome. Seriously. Love.
Contains swearing, gay sex scenes, over-the-top behavior, crime
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: 0 scenes. :(
The Pillow Book - Beautifully shot, if a bit...out there, this film is the Holy Grail of Ewan 'Talent' Spotting. The man is pretty much naked throughout the entire film. Does anyone care about the plot in this one? Not really, no.
Nudity galore!, sex scenes, gay sex (implied), swearing, suicide
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: See above.
Aching for more?
The above is really the best of the best, but Ewan has done a lot more. Below are a list of films that are smaller, or feature Ewan in a very small role, or harder to find.
Serpent's Kiss - I love it, but it's not for everyone. Co-stars Ewan's best friend and Long Way Round partner, Charley Boorman.
The Scarlet & The Black - Gorgeous, and starring a very young Cupcake!Ewan, this one is hard to come by, as it was a television miniseries.
Eye of the Beholder - Ewan is adorable in this one, but in all honesty...it is not a good movie.
Rogue Trader - Worth it for the scene where Ewan pours a bottle of water over himself.
Nora - Gorgeous, and one of my fave Ewan films, but hard to get into if you don't know anything about James Joyce.
Black Hawn Down - This is a fantastic film, but very hard to watch. It's hard to tell who is who in this sometimes, but Ewan is great, of course.
The Star Wars Franchise - Ewan is great, but the films leave much to be desired.
Emma - Worst. Hair. Ever. But a lovely little film.
Amelia - Um. I actually haven't seen it. I know! Worst Fan Ever.
The Men Who Stare At Goats - I really liked it. But it is WEIRD. Added Bonus! George Clooney AND Jeff Bridges.
Scenes of a Sexual Nature - Not as erotic as it sounds. Ewan shot this while doing a stage production of Guys & Dolls, with his G&D co-star, Douglas Hodge. They play lovers in the movie. Not so much in G&D.
Incendiary - A seriously boring and depressing movie co-starring Michelle Williams which has one really awesome sex scene and then a lot of stuff that I napped through.
Deception - The other movie Ewan did with Michelle Williams (and Hugh Jackman). It was supposed to be an 'erotic thriller', but it wasn't erotic or thrilling, and was, in fact, totally predictable.
Miss Potter - This is actually a very sweet, very charming film that I like a lot, despite the fact that Ewan isn't in it long, and it co-stars Ewan's Mustache Of Doom (tm).
Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker - He dies in the opening scene. I stopped watching after that.
Etc. Etc. Etc...
The rest...including some TV and guest appearances.
Solid Geometry
Desserts
Nightwatch
Lipstick on Your Collar
Robots (Voice Only)
Nanny McPhee Returns
Valiant (Voice Only)
ER - "The Long Way Around"
Tales From The Crypt
Faster (Narrator)
Kavanah QC
PBS Nature: The Polar Bears of Churchill with Ewan McGregor
Trips Money Can't Buy
A
** = My personal recs
Ewan For Beginners
Not sure you've ever seen a Ewan film? Or perhaps you saw him in Star Wars, and you are curious about his other work? Start here. (All films listed in this category are PG or PG-13)
**Moulin Rouge! - Starters should probably go with Ewan's mainstream fair. MR is not for everyone, but it is probably his second-most mainstream film, after the Star Wars franchise. This happens to be not only my favorite Ewan movie, but my favorite movie ever. People either love it or hate it. I personally think it's all worth it for the "Your Song" scene.
**Big Fish - This film did really well, considering it was a little left of center, and yet not as quirky as most Tim Burton films. It is an absolutely gorgeous film, and very charming all around. Stellar, stellar supporting cast, and Ewan is great, even with his completely over-the-top southern accent.
Down With Love - It's a musical without the singing, (except at the end) and it co-stars Renee Zellweger, who some people seem to like... It is VERY stylized - like a candy-coated version of Mad Men. I adore Ewan in this film, and the blooper reel is awesome.
The Island - This film bombed at US box offices--which is odd, since it starred a smokin-hot Ewan-in-a-tracksuit, and Scarlett Johansson's boobs. For a Michael Bay film, it's not half-bad. There was even an attempt at a plot! Ewan looks fantastic in this one, and there is the added bonus of TWO Ewans. UNF.
Angels & Demons - The movie is not great, but Ewan looks really hot as a priest.
Intermediate Ewan
Ready to move forward? Feel like you can take on something a bit more complex? Below is a good list for those that are ready to see Ewan in something a bit more...Rated R.
**Shallow Grave - Ewan is truly at his best when he is playing the anti-hero. He does it well in this film, about flatmates who must deal with a dead body, and a suitcase full of money. It's dark, but funny, and Alex Law is one of my absolute favorite Ewan characters. And probably the most quoteable.
A Life Less Ordinary - This is the third of three films that Ewan did with director Danny Boyle, writer John Hodge, and producer Andrew MacDonald (The other two are Trainspotting and Shallow Grave). Co-starring Cameron Diaz and Holly Hunter, this may seem to some a film that should be in the beginners category. But it is quite quirky, and many people did not understand it. Ewan is hilarious in this one, and it too, remains one of my all-time faves.
**Little Voice - This one is much more low-key than the two listed above. It's very sweet, and a little odd, so may not appeal to everyone. Jane Horrocks is fantastic, and the cast also includes the brilliant Jim Broadbent (Moulin Rouge!, Bridget Jones) and the incomparable Michael Caine.
Stay - If you blinked, you missed this one when it was in theatres. It's a strange and winding plot, but despite its mixed reviews, I found this one to be really fascinating and beautiful. Ryan Gosling and Naomi Watts are also brilliant.
Cassandra's Dream - Ewan is absolutely gorgeous in this offbeat Woody Allen film that co-stars Colin Farrell. I really liked it, but I know a lot of people who absolutely hated it. I think that's the case with many of Woody's films though.
**The Ghost Writer - This movie is fantastic. Really gripping, very smart, and Ewan is just brilliant in it. A critic recently called this Ewan's 'comeback' into good films. (He's made a lot of crap in the last several years, sadly.)
**Beginners - Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. The writing, the acting, the cinematography, the music, EVERYTHING about this movie is beautiful. I LOVE IT.
Brassed Off - Ewan is adorable in this fantastic little film, about a group of out-of-work miners who start up a brass band. His role is a supporting one, but he supports very well.
Blue Juice - Another supporting role, but it's a fantastic one! It's a British surfing movie, if you can imagine that, and Ewan in a wetsuit is a sight to behold. This one also stars Catherine Zeta-Jones. Seriously.
INTERMISSION:
Before we go on with the films, we have to stop to pay homage to the best thing Ewan McGregor has ever put on film (besides his dick): Long Way Round.
**Long Way Round (LWR for short) is a documentary that Ewan shot with his good friend Charley Boorman, a fellow motorcycle enthusiast. Together, Ewan and Charley decide to ride their motorbikes from London to New York, the 'long way round' (via Europe, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Russia, Canada, etc.). You don't have to love motorcycles to love this - Ewan and Charley are so charming and funny, and their adventure is really interesting and at times, harrowing! A few years later, they did another trip, from John O'Groats (northern tip of Scotland) to South Africa (Long Way Down). It is also a great journey, though I found the doc slightly less charming than LWR. (It is worth it to watch Ewan stand under a poster of himself, inside the original Tattooine dwelling in Tunisia (from the first Star Wars films) and not get recognized by a single person.)
Hard-Core Ewan
So, you think you are ready to take on Ewan in all his glory? Are you ready to see him in the buff, slapping people around and injecting heroin? The films below are not for the faint of heart. You have been warned. (This section includes content warnings and 'Talent' spotting counters!)
**Trainspotting - It's one of Ewan's most brilliant performances, in one of the best films ever made. But it is graphic. Quite graphic, and very unforgiving. If you are a Ewan fan though, it is a Must See.
Contains nudity, violence, drug use, graphic scenes, swearing...and thick Scottish accents.
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: 1 scene
**Young Adam - This is on my favorites list for many reasons; I loved the book from which it is based, it's a gorgeously shot film, the cast is perfection, and in my opinion, this is one of Ewan's best performances. Many people were turned off by the slow pace and graphic sex in this film. It should be noted that Ewan's character is very dark, and the sex is gritty and unromantic.
Contains nudity, swearing, dark themes, graphic sex scenes, violence...and creative custard use.
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: 1 scene outright; several other scenes moderately.
**Velvet Goldmine - It's a Glam-Rock Musical!! If that doesn't intrigue you, you may as well forget it, because this film is full-on Glam at its finest. Co-starring Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Christian Bale, this film is all glitter and rock, and is, at times perhaps, a bit too arty for its own good. But it is FABULOUS, and Ewan is a rock GOD.
Contains nudity, swearing, drug-use, sex scenes, gay sex scenes, group sex scenes...and lots of glitter.
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: 2 scenes.
**I Love You Phillip Morris - Funny, romantic, silly, heartwarming. I really, really loved this movie. Co-starring Jim Carrey, who I can only honestly stand when he is doing something that does not involve him acting like a human boomerang, is absolutely brilliant in this, and Ewan is just awesome. Seriously. Love.
Contains swearing, gay sex scenes, over-the-top behavior, crime
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: 0 scenes. :(
The Pillow Book - Beautifully shot, if a bit...out there, this film is the Holy Grail of Ewan 'Talent' Spotting. The man is pretty much naked throughout the entire film. Does anyone care about the plot in this one? Not really, no.
Nudity galore!, sex scenes, gay sex (implied), swearing, suicide
Ewan 'Talent' Spotting: See above.
Aching for more?
The above is really the best of the best, but Ewan has done a lot more. Below are a list of films that are smaller, or feature Ewan in a very small role, or harder to find.
Serpent's Kiss - I love it, but it's not for everyone. Co-stars Ewan's best friend and Long Way Round partner, Charley Boorman.
The Scarlet & The Black - Gorgeous, and starring a very young Cupcake!Ewan, this one is hard to come by, as it was a television miniseries.
Eye of the Beholder - Ewan is adorable in this one, but in all honesty...it is not a good movie.
Rogue Trader - Worth it for the scene where Ewan pours a bottle of water over himself.
Nora - Gorgeous, and one of my fave Ewan films, but hard to get into if you don't know anything about James Joyce.
Black Hawn Down - This is a fantastic film, but very hard to watch. It's hard to tell who is who in this sometimes, but Ewan is great, of course.
The Star Wars Franchise - Ewan is great, but the films leave much to be desired.
Emma - Worst. Hair. Ever. But a lovely little film.
Amelia - Um. I actually haven't seen it. I know! Worst Fan Ever.
The Men Who Stare At Goats - I really liked it. But it is WEIRD. Added Bonus! George Clooney AND Jeff Bridges.
Scenes of a Sexual Nature - Not as erotic as it sounds. Ewan shot this while doing a stage production of Guys & Dolls, with his G&D co-star, Douglas Hodge. They play lovers in the movie. Not so much in G&D.
Incendiary - A seriously boring and depressing movie co-starring Michelle Williams which has one really awesome sex scene and then a lot of stuff that I napped through.
Deception - The other movie Ewan did with Michelle Williams (and Hugh Jackman). It was supposed to be an 'erotic thriller', but it wasn't erotic or thrilling, and was, in fact, totally predictable.
Miss Potter - This is actually a very sweet, very charming film that I like a lot, despite the fact that Ewan isn't in it long, and it co-stars Ewan's Mustache Of Doom (tm).
Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker - He dies in the opening scene. I stopped watching after that.
Etc. Etc. Etc...
The rest...including some TV and guest appearances.
Solid Geometry
Desserts
Nightwatch
Lipstick on Your Collar
Robots (Voice Only)
Nanny McPhee Returns
Valiant (Voice Only)
ER - "The Long Way Around"
Tales From The Crypt
Faster (Narrator)
Kavanah QC
PBS Nature: The Polar Bears of Churchill with Ewan McGregor
Trips Money Can't Buy
A