where does one draw the line between charity and guilt . . . . .
and is charity the right word for being a decent human being . . . . . .
It is known that often I will drive 30 miles one way to spend some quality taco bell time with my kids, I pick them up from school, drive to clarion, go through the drive thru at taco bell and then park in the walmart parking lot. We will ppl watch, eat our taco's and basically enjoy ourselves enjoying something my husband, their father hates, tacos. Lame I know, but it is what it is.
Anyway today we were pulling into the 'Perkins Plaza' and my 4 year old spots from the back seat a man standing in the intersection holding a cardboard sign. He pipes up, "is that a homeless man?" obviously I see the man, I'm driving, and while I don't know if he is homeless, he is panhandling. His well done, tri-folded sign states 'father of 4, will work for food, god bless and thank you'. I am completely shocked that Tanner asked that question, I am even more shocked that there IS a man in the intersection trying as a last resort to feed his family by this method. I live in NW PA, 30 miles between towns is average, our seasons are extreme and varied. There are not many transients or homeless here. None that are seen like this, ever.
(I will admit I do have a very soft heart for homeless ppl! When we go downtown(Pittsburgh)Fred will take all my money or I will hand it all out to those claiming to be vets/homeless/out of work.)
So here I am basically sitting in my car eating my taco bell, watching this man. My first thought was that I should go to the Walmart and buy him a gift card, but then my next is, after you bought taco bell you only have $100. in your checking acct til friday, can I reasonably afford to do that with my own 3 children and family? Which then brings the guilt. Which I then try to pacify with the usual musings, is this man really needy? does he really have a family? where was he working that he cannot get a job?
I'm still watching and am heartened to see approx 7 cars stop in my 35 min of crunching, a woman leaves eat'n park with a extra take out bag, someone else leaves the taco bell drive thru and he now has a drink while he stands on the side of the road, a couple cars stop and hand him something that I assume is cash? Even an elderly couple brave the four way stop intersection to go talk to him. Which does make me feel better, but still heartsick.
Before I leave he does fold his sign, gather his collected 'donations' and cross the street to a two tone van that is parked across the aisle from me, he deposits his items and goes back to his corner. As I am leaving, not giving like I would like, I see he has Ohio plates on his van, it is neat and in good repair, but you can tell someone does live out of it, there are clothes hanging on the windows and 'belongings' stacked up in the back seat. More unknowns which lead to more questions?
Like I said it's not unusual for ppl from this area to drive for shopping, but usually we are going to Ohio not the other way around. With the car plant laying off in Boardman OH it's not unreasonable this man is out of work with thousands of other families in that area.
This will probably bother me for quite some time because once again I didn't help another in need,to many variables, hearing my husbands ranting in my head doesn't help either, but also because it's something my children will remember and I wish we lived in a world where one, this kind of thing didn't happen and two, their mother was a better person and actually did something to improve the situation.
.
It is known that often I will drive 30 miles one way to spend some quality taco bell time with my kids, I pick them up from school, drive to clarion, go through the drive thru at taco bell and then park in the walmart parking lot. We will ppl watch, eat our taco's and basically enjoy ourselves enjoying something my husband, their father hates, tacos. Lame I know, but it is what it is.
Anyway today we were pulling into the 'Perkins Plaza' and my 4 year old spots from the back seat a man standing in the intersection holding a cardboard sign. He pipes up, "is that a homeless man?" obviously I see the man, I'm driving, and while I don't know if he is homeless, he is panhandling. His well done, tri-folded sign states 'father of 4, will work for food, god bless and thank you'. I am completely shocked that Tanner asked that question, I am even more shocked that there IS a man in the intersection trying as a last resort to feed his family by this method. I live in NW PA, 30 miles between towns is average, our seasons are extreme and varied. There are not many transients or homeless here. None that are seen like this, ever.
(I will admit I do have a very soft heart for homeless ppl! When we go downtown(Pittsburgh)Fred will take all my money or I will hand it all out to those claiming to be vets/homeless/out of work.)
So here I am basically sitting in my car eating my taco bell, watching this man. My first thought was that I should go to the Walmart and buy him a gift card, but then my next is, after you bought taco bell you only have $100. in your checking acct til friday, can I reasonably afford to do that with my own 3 children and family? Which then brings the guilt. Which I then try to pacify with the usual musings, is this man really needy? does he really have a family? where was he working that he cannot get a job?
I'm still watching and am heartened to see approx 7 cars stop in my 35 min of crunching, a woman leaves eat'n park with a extra take out bag, someone else leaves the taco bell drive thru and he now has a drink while he stands on the side of the road, a couple cars stop and hand him something that I assume is cash? Even an elderly couple brave the four way stop intersection to go talk to him. Which does make me feel better, but still heartsick.
Before I leave he does fold his sign, gather his collected 'donations' and cross the street to a two tone van that is parked across the aisle from me, he deposits his items and goes back to his corner. As I am leaving, not giving like I would like, I see he has Ohio plates on his van, it is neat and in good repair, but you can tell someone does live out of it, there are clothes hanging on the windows and 'belongings' stacked up in the back seat. More unknowns which lead to more questions?
Like I said it's not unusual for ppl from this area to drive for shopping, but usually we are going to Ohio not the other way around. With the car plant laying off in Boardman OH it's not unreasonable this man is out of work with thousands of other families in that area.
This will probably bother me for quite some time because once again I didn't help another in need,to many variables, hearing my husbands ranting in my head doesn't help either, but also because it's something my children will remember and I wish we lived in a world where one, this kind of thing didn't happen and two, their mother was a better person and actually did something to improve the situation.
.