elliot smith and overcast skies

[peninsulapark]

yeah.

last night i was so upset i was shaking uncontrollably
ever since i was little its more likely for me to shake than cry
idk why

i got in bed and tried to sleep
but i couldnt
i put on some jams and went downstairs where the party was still raging
i tried to silently take my bottle of vodka upstairs
but every drunk straight girl has queer radar i swear
"chelseeeeea can i come sleep in your bed? i'll cuddle you!"
and earlier that night ellie sat on my lap and like.. grinded me.

so i made an excuse and ran upstairs
i took a really really long swig
didnt have a chaser
shrugged
put on my smiths cd
went to sleep

vodka is great sleeping potion
but you wake up vommiting
worth it?
i guess
i didnt have to lay awake and think about alex

i had a babysitting interview
it went well
biked home
vom'd

i cant tell if my nausea is caused by my broken heart or alchohol
probably a mixture

dear alex,
i really wanted this.

three weeks.
fml.