(no subject)
if i sort of got what i wanted, why am i crying during dance shows and leaving early and being inescapably lonely? the best part of my day is when someone acknowledges that i'm there, even for a second... and it never lasts long.
often i wish i had the willpower
philip called and we hadn't spoken in a month; today would have been a year and tuesday's ten months for addi. when we don't speak, i miss him like hell, but now that we've spoken i can't bear how awkward it was; he doesn't care that i'm not around and i can't take that. i miss him even more, yet somehow my missing him would be satisfied with the littlest bit of attention from anyone.
i need my verbs to be passive (does that make sense?)... i can't be on my own anymore, i don't have the energy to keep up anything
fuck
often i wish i had the willpower
philip called and we hadn't spoken in a month; today would have been a year and tuesday's ten months for addi. when we don't speak, i miss him like hell, but now that we've spoken i can't bear how awkward it was; he doesn't care that i'm not around and i can't take that. i miss him even more, yet somehow my missing him would be satisfied with the littlest bit of attention from anyone.
i need my verbs to be passive (does that make sense?)... i can't be on my own anymore, i don't have the energy to keep up anything
fuck