about to get emo

[penino]

i thought that this year was going to be so different from last year; that i wouldn't be constantly lonely, or depressed, or both... yet somehow i'm still so miserable that i'm even wishing i was back in rome. there are times when i just want to be anywhere but school.. but i can't go home, and my dad doesn't have a [home], so i just wander around campus wishing that i could get back the love i lost (cause philip won't even speak to me anymore), or that anyone would barely give me the kind of love i need (which is even mostly physical... i just want any little affection i can get).
and i am so going to stop writing because i'm sounding so fucking self-victimizing, and that's exactly what i always accuse her of being.
i hate it