The Critterlympics! (a recap)
The much celebrated and universally ballyhooed Critterlympics had their ninth incarnation at Further Confusion 2010, where critters from around the world came together in the spirit of competition and pummeling to determine who could claim the vaunted title of Critterlympics Champion. FC's Gold Rush theme provided rich historical grounds for inspiration, as gold rush prospectors were well-known for their inventive games. For the unfortunate few who missed seeing them live, here's a handy recap of the events as they unfolded.
The Teams
Team Hotpants
Nekomon
Agthorn
Vin
Nitro
Spark
Skroy
Pesquinox
Arc (alternate)
Fox Force Five
Ikari Yalter
Whiskey Foxtrot
Artie Arctic Fox
Rennie
Da Fox
Zorin Fox
Dale Fox
Fine Young Carnivores
Cavalier
Isaac Coyote
Silver
Miyako
Scruff E. Coyote
Belmont Wolf
Chef Sam
Rrrrawesome
Sperkle
Growly
Dooey Husky
Frio Husky
Ozzy Beagle
Provo
JD Puppy
Pussies Galore
Scrambles
Blazger
L.T.
Wild Cheetah
Ruhani
Q.B. Lion
The Doctor
Eclectic Oddballs
Donkey
Bill
Anub'i
Frostcat
Korkem
Harp
Sonic
Yama (alternate)
The Vandalizing Canines
Rebel Coyote
Movin Wolf
Kisho
Tzup
Lizzie Fox
Dinali
~?~
The Support Staff
The Critterlympics couldn't happen without our magnificent staff, who keep the critters in line and make sure the casualties are kept to a minimum. They do a whole lot of hard work and don't get much recognition, so here's your chance to read their names and think about how awesome they are.
- Penh -- Organizer of the Critterlympics and wielder of the microphone
- Patch Bunny - Expert bat wielder and hoop bearer, he's a veteran Critterlympics staffer
- Deezlberries - His dry British wit and fuzzy jacket keep all our spirits up when times are tough
- Carlos - This man of mystery appeared from nowhere to help us all, then disappeared in a cloud of enigma
- Camerapup - Another veteran helper, his skill in wielding a replica mine cart can't be matched
- Wruf - Though he could only stay long enough to help with preparations, every little bit of help helps
Dr. Loveless' Doomsday Rockets
Not everyone wanted to become rich by finding gold. Some of a more villainous bent were determined to turn science to evil ends in their pursuit of riches. Doomsday Rockets were a very popular tool with a variety of uses, from opening stubborn bank vaults to threatening small towns with utter destruction. This event tested a team's ability to assemble a Doomsday Rocket (safely disarmed) from its various components and deliver it to a target, in this case the Hoop of Victory.
- First place: Team Hotpants
- Second place: Eclectic Oddballs
- Third place: Pussies Galore
Before railroads were invented, the best way for prospectors to transfer their riches to the bank was the classic bucket brigade. At the height of the gold rush, it wasn't uncommon to see lines of prospectors many miles long stretching across the landscape, shiny torrents of gold pouring from bucket to bucket on their way to a secure vault. While the gold nuggets used in this event were artificial, the experience itself was wholly authentic.
- Round one winners: Fox Force Five
- Round two winners: The Vandalizing Canines
Old West prospectors were a burly, hardy lot. They mined hard, and they played hard. One of their favorite recreations was using mine carts as roller skates, sliding gracefully across the landscape with mighty strides. This event used meticulously detailed 1/5-scale reproductions of classic 1848 Eureka-school mine carts, with the wheels removed for safety reasons.
- First place: Team Hotpants
- Second place: The Vandalizing Canines
- Third place: Rrrrawesome
Everyone knows the important role that dogsleds played in the Yukon gold rush, but not many are aware of how important they were in California. In the early days of the gold rush, they were used to transport vitally important equipment too large for bucket brigades. After railroads and wagons were invented to fulfill transportation needs, they assumed an equally important role in keeping weary miners entertained with races and acrobatic stunts.
- First place: Team Hotpants
- Second place: Pussies Galore
- Third place: The Vandalizing Canines
After a long day hunkered beside a stream panning for gold, prospectors needed to unwind, and nothing unwinds a fellow like a night on the town. The event recreated the experience of getting a prospector all gussied up for an evening of drinking and dancing and some more drinking, and let's be honest, probably not all that much dancing.
- First place: Pussies Galore
- Second place: Team Hotpants
- Third place: Rrrrawsome
After all the events had been completed and the severed body parts had been collected (I've still got that nose if anyone is looking for one), the results were tallied using a complicated mathematical ranking system (patent pending) to determine the day's winners. And those winners are....
- First place: Team Hotpants
- Second place: Pussies Galore
- Third place: Fine Young Carnivores
Thanks to all our competitors and helpers who made the Critterlympics the awesome spectacle that it was, and I hope we'll be seeing you all again for the mighty Tenth Critterlympics next year at FC2011!