We're all fucked...heeheeheeeee
So I just talked with Gavin (and some dude I don't know) and I had to put down the highlights for posterity bc it was the best conversation OF ALL TIME:
"JASON ISAACS SAID NOT TO NUKE THE METEOR!"
--me
"Let's not talk about the asteroid."
--gavin
"Ok, let's not talk about the asteroid."
--me
"Well, I'm sorry, but I'M RIGHT, so look it up in yer Funk and Wagnel's."
--me
"STOP TALKING ABOUT THE FRICKING METEOR."
--gavin
"I don't keep bringing up the meteor, you keep bringing up the meteor!"
--me
"I dunno, the meteor...and moot. Let's talk about the 10 plagues."
--gavin
"The scientologists will survive the meteor."
--gavin
"Aliens always sexually abuse everything."
--gavin
"They want us to teach them how to have sex?"
--me
"BRUCE WILLIS WON'T DIE!"
--me
"WHY would anyone die of a heroin overdose when they could be hit by an ASTEROID??"
--me
"Samual Jackson was born in the year 20."
--gavin
"Samuel L. Jackson killed Jesus. He said, 'Die, motherfucker.'"
--gavin
"L. stands for motherfucker."
--gavin
"HAHA fuckin' Ellis."
--me
"I NEED you to decode guyspeak!"
--me
"We should pull a Cyrano."
--gavin
"But what if you and he end up together?"
--me
"It says, 'love,' from him."
--me
"That's pretty self-explanatory."
--gavin
" BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN???!"
--me
"Why? WHYYYYYYYY??"
--me
"You could tie her up and club her in the kneecaps...or you could...no wait, that's really a good idea."
--gavin
"NO I'M NOT GOING TO BE LIKE THE CRAZY ASTEROID--shit!--ASTRONAUT LADY!!!!!"
--me
'"I'm in danger of being in mortal danger, I should move."
--gavin
"Hi, I'm Gavin"
--some guy called Gabe.
"You don't sound like Gavin, Gavin sounds like this: (in a deep monotone) 'I'm Gavin...meeeeeughh."
--me
"I got some skittles, meeeeeeughhh."
--gabe
"Wait wait there's really funny thing on youtube but i'll talk to you in a minute."
--gabe
"Samuel L. Jackson got killed by snakes on a plane last week, didn't you hear?"
--gabe
"We're DOOMED!"
--me
"Who are you talking to, Gavin?"
--me
"My german friend."
--gabe
"What's his name?"
--me
"Her name."
--gabe
"What's her name?"
--me
"Hitler. "
--gabe
"Weinerschnitzel Hitler."
--gabe
"You sounded like Dick Cheney."
--me
"I'm sorry. (pause) Want to go hunting?"
--gabe
"NO."
--me
"Why is he wearing a bra?"
--gabe
"Why aren't you taking sex ed?"
--me
"The sex ed teacher's pregnant."
--gabe
"Gavin, you aren't usually this funny."
--me
"Well, I just smoked a bunch of crack."
--gabe
"So you're the answer to the question, 'Who's got the crack?'"
--me
"No, that's Jim."
--gabe
"Which Jim?"
--me
"Any Jim."
--gabe
"Heyyy, it's called Sodomy 101, not Playgirl!"
--gabe
"IS SHE DEAD?"
--gabe
"Did you just kill a girl by elbowing her in the boob?"
--me
"You guys are surfing at the rec center?"
--me
"There's pole dancers on every table. Nobody really eats there anymore."
--gabe
"Those monkeys are having sex!"
--gabe
"Bye, Gavin, I love you!"
--me
"I love you too sis!"
--gabe
"JASON ISAACS SAID NOT TO NUKE THE METEOR!"
--me
"Let's not talk about the asteroid."
--gavin
"Ok, let's not talk about the asteroid."
--me
"Well, I'm sorry, but I'M RIGHT, so look it up in yer Funk and Wagnel's."
--me
"STOP TALKING ABOUT THE FRICKING METEOR."
--gavin
"I don't keep bringing up the meteor, you keep bringing up the meteor!"
--me
"I dunno, the meteor...and moot. Let's talk about the 10 plagues."
--gavin
"The scientologists will survive the meteor."
--gavin
"Aliens always sexually abuse everything."
--gavin
"They want us to teach them how to have sex?"
--me
"BRUCE WILLIS WON'T DIE!"
--me
"WHY would anyone die of a heroin overdose when they could be hit by an ASTEROID??"
--me
"Samual Jackson was born in the year 20."
--gavin
"Samuel L. Jackson killed Jesus. He said, 'Die, motherfucker.'"
--gavin
"L. stands for motherfucker."
--gavin
"HAHA fuckin' Ellis."
--me
"I NEED you to decode guyspeak!"
--me
"We should pull a Cyrano."
--gavin
"But what if you and he end up together?"
--me
"It says, 'love,' from him."
--me
"That's pretty self-explanatory."
--gavin
" BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN???!"
--me
"Why? WHYYYYYYYY??"
--me
"You could tie her up and club her in the kneecaps...or you could...no wait, that's really a good idea."
--gavin
"NO I'M NOT GOING TO BE LIKE THE CRAZY ASTEROID--shit!--ASTRONAUT LADY!!!!!"
--me
'"I'm in danger of being in mortal danger, I should move."
--gavin
"Hi, I'm Gavin"
--some guy called Gabe.
"You don't sound like Gavin, Gavin sounds like this: (in a deep monotone) 'I'm Gavin...meeeeeughh."
--me
"I got some skittles, meeeeeeughhh."
--gabe
"Wait wait there's really funny thing on youtube but i'll talk to you in a minute."
--gabe
"Samuel L. Jackson got killed by snakes on a plane last week, didn't you hear?"
--gabe
"We're DOOMED!"
--me
"Who are you talking to, Gavin?"
--me
"My german friend."
--gabe
"What's his name?"
--me
"Her name."
--gabe
"What's her name?"
--me
"Hitler. "
--gabe
"Weinerschnitzel Hitler."
--gabe
"You sounded like Dick Cheney."
--me
"I'm sorry. (pause) Want to go hunting?"
--gabe
"NO."
--me
"Why is he wearing a bra?"
--gabe
"Why aren't you taking sex ed?"
--me
"The sex ed teacher's pregnant."
--gabe
"Gavin, you aren't usually this funny."
--me
"Well, I just smoked a bunch of crack."
--gabe
"So you're the answer to the question, 'Who's got the crack?'"
--me
"No, that's Jim."
--gabe
"Which Jim?"
--me
"Any Jim."
--gabe
"Heyyy, it's called Sodomy 101, not Playgirl!"
--gabe
"IS SHE DEAD?"
--gabe
"Did you just kill a girl by elbowing her in the boob?"
--me
"You guys are surfing at the rec center?"
--me
"There's pole dancers on every table. Nobody really eats there anymore."
--gabe
"Those monkeys are having sex!"
--gabe
"Bye, Gavin, I love you!"
--me
"I love you too sis!"
--gabe