f*
I'm stressed. I not good with stress. I ignore it until it manifest itself in some sort of physical ailment. That can't be healthy. I have to learn how to deal with it. People say you should talk about it....but to who. No one really gives a shit, and hell most of their problems are going to be about 20x worse then mine, which makes me feel like a jackass, and therefore induces more stress. Mom doesn't believe I can have stress, the other day I said "Mom I think I am stressed." She said "How can you be stressed you have to actually do stuff to be stressed." Ahhh, that's my mom. I love her but my goodness she's annoying. Well they say you should just get it out in the open so I will....p.s. that was the "this-is-just-griping-you-can-skip-ahead-or-omit-this-LJ-entry-if-you-want" warning.
1)School: Most everything is probably related in one way or another to going to school in TX.
2) Money: I want it, I need it, I'll need it even more soon, and I don't have it. I'm working on it and making progress though.
3)Mom: I don't know what she wants from me. I do what she says she wants, I try to make her happy and it only seems to piss her off more. I just dunno what to do anymore.
4) BF: I like him a lot, he's my friend. My best friend here in England in fact. He is confusing the fuck out of me though. And I don't even know if it's him or just my own mind. I dunno I guess I am just worried that he is going to forget me. ...that probably doesn't make sense. (p.s. Jenny, I keep meaning to send you info about him but I keep forgetting. I know I suck, sorry. I'll try once again though!!=0) )
5) Moving half-way across the world to live on my own for the first time ever in a town I've only visited twice and my only family support within an hour of where I'll be is the same person who's ditched me on several occasions because Wal-mart was having a sale. I won't have any mode of transportation when I get there nor any means to buy transport so I'll be stuck there. I will also be going to an actual university where the teachers might actually give a damn if you fogot your mid-term. On top of that I will know no one when I get there. I'll have barely any money to pay for it. I'll have to get a job right away, mom says no but evreryway she explains it just makes me think "I have to get a job right away" . And on top of that my fucking flare hasn't ceased and knowing me I''ll probably have problems right when I get there and thus I'll have to find my own Dr. and my own means of getting there. Plus I just found out yesterday that mom "although she said she'd be coming with me" actually is not. I told her it was fine, but it freaks me out a bit. I mean she would probably be a pain in the ass but at least I'd have someone to laugh with on the plane ride, and have someone with me that people actually listen to....or is old enough to rent a car. FUCK.
....well that totally didn't help at all, now I just have everything in the front of my mind!
p.s.
I've decided I don't like Oprah, she comes across as a condesending bitch to me.
yea just a little off topic.....that probably goes back to the "not good at dealing with stress part"
ugh I better go to sleep before I eat something.
Good night
malz
1)School: Most everything is probably related in one way or another to going to school in TX.
2) Money: I want it, I need it, I'll need it even more soon, and I don't have it. I'm working on it and making progress though.
3)Mom: I don't know what she wants from me. I do what she says she wants, I try to make her happy and it only seems to piss her off more. I just dunno what to do anymore.
4) BF: I like him a lot, he's my friend. My best friend here in England in fact. He is confusing the fuck out of me though. And I don't even know if it's him or just my own mind. I dunno I guess I am just worried that he is going to forget me. ...that probably doesn't make sense. (p.s. Jenny, I keep meaning to send you info about him but I keep forgetting. I know I suck, sorry. I'll try once again though!!=0) )
5) Moving half-way across the world to live on my own for the first time ever in a town I've only visited twice and my only family support within an hour of where I'll be is the same person who's ditched me on several occasions because Wal-mart was having a sale. I won't have any mode of transportation when I get there nor any means to buy transport so I'll be stuck there. I will also be going to an actual university where the teachers might actually give a damn if you fogot your mid-term. On top of that I will know no one when I get there. I'll have barely any money to pay for it. I'll have to get a job right away, mom says no but evreryway she explains it just makes me think "I have to get a job right away" . And on top of that my fucking flare hasn't ceased and knowing me I''ll probably have problems right when I get there and thus I'll have to find my own Dr. and my own means of getting there. Plus I just found out yesterday that mom "although she said she'd be coming with me" actually is not. I told her it was fine, but it freaks me out a bit. I mean she would probably be a pain in the ass but at least I'd have someone to laugh with on the plane ride, and have someone with me that people actually listen to....or is old enough to rent a car. FUCK.
....well that totally didn't help at all, now I just have everything in the front of my mind!
p.s.
I've decided I don't like Oprah, she comes across as a condesending bitch to me.
yea just a little off topic.....that probably goes back to the "not good at dealing with stress part"
ugh I better go to sleep before I eat something.
Good night
malz