.damn.
i cant really tell you exactly how i feel. im not sure a lot of you really care to know. but meh...thats life, right?
kinda lonely. kinda melancholy. really insecure.
daniel gets irritated with me always being....me i guess. i constantly apologize for being stupid and emotional. and i dont really know why im apologizing. he said he likes me for me...but sometimes "me" includes being over emotional and stubborn as hell. i just feel like i need some extra patience and attention occasionally...especially around this time of month. and i know its not fair to get upset with him because i know he couldnt possibly understand it. i want to be with him. i want to be in his presence more and more each day. im just afraid that hes going to get....sick of me i guess. and i try really hard to supress that little voice inside my head saying..."be careful...dont do this, dont do that" because i know i dont have to walk on egg shells when im around him. im totally comfortable. but there is still always something whispering in my ear to be someone im not. smile when i want to cry. laugh when i want to scream. maybe hes right maybe imnot the best bet for long term. im too "weird" as he likes to put it. i like to be able to say how i feel without having to worry that im going to be rejected or ridiculed. but then again i do take things too far some times.
but when im with him, nothing is wrong, and everything seems right. its the hours inbetween that get me questioning. oh but i love being with him. he makes me smile. a lot. thinking about him...i get the butterflies. and its been a while my friends since i've had those.
i dunno. i guess thats all for now.
daniel if you read this...just know that i care for you. truly, madly deeply. if you need anything, just ask. someimes i need helf figuring out exactly what it is that you want, but i'd like to think im getting better....
.i.love.you.
kinda lonely. kinda melancholy. really insecure.
daniel gets irritated with me always being....me i guess. i constantly apologize for being stupid and emotional. and i dont really know why im apologizing. he said he likes me for me...but sometimes "me" includes being over emotional and stubborn as hell. i just feel like i need some extra patience and attention occasionally...especially around this time of month. and i know its not fair to get upset with him because i know he couldnt possibly understand it. i want to be with him. i want to be in his presence more and more each day. im just afraid that hes going to get....sick of me i guess. and i try really hard to supress that little voice inside my head saying..."be careful...dont do this, dont do that" because i know i dont have to walk on egg shells when im around him. im totally comfortable. but there is still always something whispering in my ear to be someone im not. smile when i want to cry. laugh when i want to scream. maybe hes right maybe imnot the best bet for long term. im too "weird" as he likes to put it. i like to be able to say how i feel without having to worry that im going to be rejected or ridiculed. but then again i do take things too far some times.
but when im with him, nothing is wrong, and everything seems right. its the hours inbetween that get me questioning. oh but i love being with him. he makes me smile. a lot. thinking about him...i get the butterflies. and its been a while my friends since i've had those.
i dunno. i guess thats all for now.
daniel if you read this...just know that i care for you. truly, madly deeply. if you need anything, just ask. someimes i need helf figuring out exactly what it is that you want, but i'd like to think im getting better....
.i.love.you.