(no subject)
a lot of people think i lack emotion...
i don't.. i was and still am crying during keyboarding.
but i'll never tell.. no one knows.
i acually got what i said i did.. on all my grades?
but i still hate myself.
because i can't bring him to understand what i'm thinking.
because i basically look like a whore, but i'm not.
because i don't even want to mess around with scott.
like i said, if i had my way, i wouldn't mess around until i was 18. then i wouldn't do it until I was married.
i just feel so guilty about it.
i love him, i really do.
BUT IT'S FUCKING SCARY THINKING ABOUT SPENDING THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH ONE PERSON. never being able to love again... it's.. scary...
i am 15.. okay?
15 years old..
and he's 17. we have the world ahead of us..
with or without each other.
...i fucking hate myself sometimes.
mishee.
i don't.. i was and still am crying during keyboarding.
but i'll never tell.. no one knows.
i acually got what i said i did.. on all my grades?
but i still hate myself.
because i can't bring him to understand what i'm thinking.
because i basically look like a whore, but i'm not.
because i don't even want to mess around with scott.
like i said, if i had my way, i wouldn't mess around until i was 18. then i wouldn't do it until I was married.
i just feel so guilty about it.
i love him, i really do.
BUT IT'S FUCKING SCARY THINKING ABOUT SPENDING THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH ONE PERSON. never being able to love again... it's.. scary...
i am 15.. okay?
15 years old..
and he's 17. we have the world ahead of us..
with or without each other.
...i fucking hate myself sometimes.
mishee.