(no subject)
Less than 4 weeks until graduation and being reunited with Brian. Right now that seems like an eternity. I know, lame. This has been a little, okay, a lot harder lately. I did good before, it was temporary and I am very busy. So... what has changed? I really don't know. I'm still just as busy with the exception that I don't physically have to go to class on Tuesday nights. Don't worry though, I have begun to pick up extra hours at my internship. There will be no early Tuesdays again until I move maybe. So, I'm still busy but I'm much more lonely. Here's my hypothesis:
I worked hard to create my own life. This started in college, I moved out, worked, had friends, a boyfriend, and like normal, going home to visit decreased over the years I was away at college. Then graduation. I went straight into grad school which I'm glad I did or else things would be much different right now. I did move into my grandma's to save money but not quite be back at home. This worked. I also got even closer with my extended family. Then I got engaged. This was wonderful and the ultimate step towards creating my own life. We got married and moved in to our own apartment and life was good. We really had our own lives together. Then we came across the current situation. His rotation came up and it was out of state and I was not quite done with school, but didn't have enough left to justify taking a leave of absence. So, I stay for the two months to finish and he moves to Charlotte to start work there. I made the decision to go back to my dad's house. It hasn't been bad, but I am now starting to see how the rest of my world now has their own lives too. Both my parents are in relationships. One I can't stand and the other is okay, but this is a topic for another time. It keeps them busy. I end up alone on the weekends often. I am glad for them. (Well sorta...) I do not want them to stay home for me, but what do I do with myself??? Many of my close friends have moved out of state and I can't go see them in a random weekend trip. I do have one of my best friends still near but she also is in a relationship, a newer one too, so she likes to spend lots of time with him and I can't blame her.
Anyways... all this rambling is giving me a "poor Kelly" attitude. I am left wondering where I would fit in this world if I hadn't gotten married. What if I didn't have to just wait it out 4 more weeks. What if this was it??? That thought scares me.
I worked hard to create my own life. This started in college, I moved out, worked, had friends, a boyfriend, and like normal, going home to visit decreased over the years I was away at college. Then graduation. I went straight into grad school which I'm glad I did or else things would be much different right now. I did move into my grandma's to save money but not quite be back at home. This worked. I also got even closer with my extended family. Then I got engaged. This was wonderful and the ultimate step towards creating my own life. We got married and moved in to our own apartment and life was good. We really had our own lives together. Then we came across the current situation. His rotation came up and it was out of state and I was not quite done with school, but didn't have enough left to justify taking a leave of absence. So, I stay for the two months to finish and he moves to Charlotte to start work there. I made the decision to go back to my dad's house. It hasn't been bad, but I am now starting to see how the rest of my world now has their own lives too. Both my parents are in relationships. One I can't stand and the other is okay, but this is a topic for another time. It keeps them busy. I end up alone on the weekends often. I am glad for them. (Well sorta...) I do not want them to stay home for me, but what do I do with myself??? Many of my close friends have moved out of state and I can't go see them in a random weekend trip. I do have one of my best friends still near but she also is in a relationship, a newer one too, so she likes to spend lots of time with him and I can't blame her.
Anyways... all this rambling is giving me a "poor Kelly" attitude. I am left wondering where I would fit in this world if I hadn't gotten married. What if I didn't have to just wait it out 4 more weeks. What if this was it??? That thought scares me.